View Poll Results: How are we doing at addressing bullying?

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  • We're not doing enough.

    28 42.42%
  • We're right on track and taking appropriate measures.

    8 12.12%
  • We're blowing it way out of proportion.

    23 34.85%
  • Other.

    7 10.61%
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Thread: Bullying...

  1. #251
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Goshin View Post
    It's a difficult issue, and how to handle it with your child is tricky.


    Outside of gang-infested (mostly) urban schools, most bullying is social and psychological rather than overtly violent... yet it is exactly this kind of bullying that can do the worst and most lasting damage, and is the hardest to deal with or fight back against. A child that is neither socially adept nor eloquent finds it hard to verbally defuse this kind of bullying, and children who already have self-confidence problems can be devastated by it.

    Given schools' supposed zero-tolerance against violence, and the frequency with which the law gets involved in school fights, telling you kid just to whup someone's ass is likely going to draw you a whole basketfull-of-Hell worth of trouble... especially if your kid ends up throwing the first blow in front of witnesses, or just defended themselves in the ABSENCE of friendly witnesses. This can result in criminal investigation, lawsuits, and all kinds of Not Good.

    It's not like it was when I was a youngster, and I complained to my Dad that someone had pushed me around and he said "Go to school tomorrow and fight him... make sure you give him a couple good punches in the face and win or lose he'll leave you alone afterward." At the time, not bad advice, but things are a lot more complicated these days.

    So many youngsters do much of their socializing on the Net that cyber-bullying can result in nearly as much emotional trauma as in-person bullying. I think especially since people tend to say WORSE things to people from the safety of the Internet than they would in person...

    My son is 17 and in HS; he's always been big for his age, and trained in martial arts from early childhood, but we STILL had bullying issues anyway because it is more complicated these days than can easily be solved just punching someone in the mouth... though I still think that IS a good response to some circumstances.
    I'm going to whip out an old cliche for this one, but "zero tolerance" equals zero thinking. If the bullied kid does defend them self, they get in trouble also. This sends the clear message to the kid that they were wrong to try and end the bullying, and should have let it continue.

    Sure, the official response would be, "You should have reported it and let the proper authorities deal with it.". Yeah, that works. What that means is that they will claim there's nothing they can do because they have no evidence and haven't witnessed it themselves. Something that the bullying victim has probably heard too many times already.

    IMO, "zero tolerance" is excuse to NOT deal with the issue.
    Last edited by radcen; 08-20-13 at 07:11 PM.
    If you claim sexual harassment to be wrong, yet you defend anyone on your side for any reason,
    then you are a hypocrite and everything you say on the matter is just babble.

  2. #252
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Superfly View Post
    Lighten up, Francis. My kids have no issue with bullying or being bullied. I'm talking about other kids, and there are a lot of them. But just because my kids are mentally healthy enough to handle being bullied, and well-raised enough to not bully, doesn't mean that other kids aren't having this issue. I don't want one single child to have to die, just because somebody wouldn't stand up for them - some teacher didn't fight for them, or some parent didn't watch them closely enough to make sure that they weren't being bullied.
    That's were YOUR children and what you teach them comes in. Its their opportunity to help those who could use it.

    I have ALWAYS been and still am to a degree socially "dense" as it were. I have been bullied very harshly so I know a thing or two. Been there done that got the T-Shirt more times than I can possibly count.

    My pop gave me some good advise when I was younger and denser. Its worked pretty well for me. One, Most people are all mouth and no walk. Two, If you know you are definitely getting into a fight ALWAYS throw the FIRST punch and make it count. Three, bullies only pick on people with no backbone, so grow spine. Three sometimes we are just screwed no matter what we do, do your best anyhow you might get lucky. Four always keep your head. Five, You don't have to be perfect or even good, just consistent. Six, You cant be everything to everyone, so pick one and do it as best you can for you. Seven, respect is earned. If you want it you need to earn it. Eight, Be careful what you wish for you might get it.

    I think he got the last one out of a fortune cookie, still its sound advise. My pop is by no means perfect, but I get by in life in part because of his advise.
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  3. #253
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by radcen View Post
    I'm a believer in karma as well, I'm just disappointed that I usually don't get to witness it.
    That is the REAL bitch of it aint it?
    Semper Fidelis, Semper Liber.
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  4. #254
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gipper View Post
    Like I said - if something like certain things that pass as "bullying" causes you to kill yourself, you're just saving yourself some time before life goes and actually gets hard.
    I disagree that bullying needs to result in "manning up", especially when it relates to depression and suicide.
    "I can't abide women who poke their noses into other people's business."
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  5. #255
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Nynaeve Meara View Post
    I disagree that bullying needs to result in "manning up", especially when it relates to depression and suicide.
    What's your solution - teach kids that life is all sunshine, lollipops and unicorns?

  6. #256
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    Re: Bullying...

    Generally, people who commit suicide are people who are wired for it and prone to it to begin with. The bullying won't be the root cause. That was already there. The bullying may be the deciding "last straw" for some, but for many of these people if it weren't the bullying it would have eventually been something else.
    If you claim sexual harassment to be wrong, yet you defend anyone on your side for any reason,
    then you are a hypocrite and everything you say on the matter is just babble.

  7. #257
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gipper View Post
    What's your solution - teach kids that life is all sunshine, lollipops and unicorns?
    you mean it's NOT???????
    The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

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  8. #258
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by PirateMk1 View Post
    I would even go so far as physical violence or threats therein, except in the case of criminal gangs. Even in this day and age of overly stupid no tolerance policies. Sometimes it pays to take the penalty.
    I still wouldn't go that far. Where do you draw the line? What constitutes a criminal gang? What about one guy beating the crap out of someone in a wheelchair? There are too many iffy propositions, it's easier to just outlaw any physical violence whatsoever and treat it like we do adult physical crime. You can call someone names, you can't physically injure them.
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  9. #259
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by radcen View Post
    Generally, people who commit suicide are people who are wired for it and prone to it to begin with. The bullying won't be the root cause. That was already there. The bullying may be the deciding "last straw" for some, but for many of these people if it weren't the bullying it would have eventually been something else.
    exactly.
    The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

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  10. #260
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Nynaeve Meara View Post
    Here is the problem even back when you are in school suicides among those who were bullied were more common than they are today. It just wasn't given national attention. A lot of thoughts in this thread are through rose coloured glasses.
    I don't honestly care how many suicides there were. Those who are too emotionally weak to take it probably ought to be taken out of the gene pool.
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