View Poll Results: How are we doing at addressing bullying?

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  • We're not doing enough.

    28 42.42%
  • We're right on track and taking appropriate measures.

    8 12.12%
  • We're blowing it way out of proportion.

    23 34.85%
  • Other.

    7 10.61%
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Thread: Bullying...

  1. #181
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Captain America View Post
    When I attended high school, it was nothing unusual to look out across the parking lot and see rifles in the gun racks of the student's trucks. Even our most destestible bullies, (aka, "goat ropers,",) did their bullying with fists.

    One thing I have noticed, however. Many of these high school bullies from back in my day, these Scoal dipping redneck "goat ropers," are now old men on FaceBook, forever hating the president and passing around all that debunked rightwing propaganda that goes for gospel down in the great state of Texas.

    I guess once an idiot always an idiot. LOL!
    I don't see rifles in gun racks as equal to hand guns and knives that are actual used to kill people.

    Those rifles are mostly a statement meant to scare somebody. I doubt most of them would use the gun against a human.

  2. #182
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    Re: Bullying...

    I would say that a large percentage of bullying that occurs in middle- and high-school does have a homophobic element to it, which is why it is a big part of the anti-bullying movement. Bullies have always picked on those they perceive to be less masculine. When I was growing up in the late 90s, early 00s, "you're gay" was like one of the worst insults you could hurl at someone. I doubt a lot of the bullies meant it in a literal you-have-sex-with-other-men way, it was meant more as "you're pathetic, you're weak, you're a sissy" type of thing. And many (most?) of the victims were probably not, in fact, gay.

    I personally was not bullied much in school, although I am gay and knew it at the time. But I have no doubt that being immersed in that culture, where even your friends say things like "shut up faggot" or make anti-gay jokes when they are just teasing around, accentuated my insecurity and helped instigate an impossible conflict where for years I wanted and tried to be someone different. I think it is probably very hard to imagine how it would feel to be made fun of or degraded for something that, no matter how hard you try, you cannot seem to change. Every time somebody would say something like that it was like a jolt through my system, and I would feel sick and uncomfortable, and seeing other people being beat up or harassed for being effeminate served as an effective deterrent to opening up about what I was going through with anyone, including friends or family. I would say that bullying -- and perhaps homophobic bullying in particular -- is as much psychological as it is physical.

    So I find it completely unsurprising that this issue is a big deal to a lot of gay people and gay rights groups, as it should be. But I certainly do not feel that I care only about gay victims of bullying or about homophobic bullying, and I am sure that the actual anti-bullying organizations are just as welcoming to straight victims as they are to anyone else.
    (avatar by Thomas Nast)

  3. #183
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by CanadaJohn View Post
    I appreciate what your saying - my reference was to the issue of a supportive family and far too many young people today don't have supportive families to help take away some of the stress.

    As for girls, they haven't been all "sugar and spice" since I don't know when - you're bang on about the viciousness of some "little" girls.
    Gotcha. Well something I've noticed is that some parents have moved from the TV being a babysitter, to the internet, and that is sooooooo much worse than the TV ever thought about being. Parents need to wake the hell up and see what's going on in their kids' lives. I have said this before, but I unapologetically check my daughters' phones, and my older daughter, who hasn't made the best choices, is extremely limited in internet usage, and has no Facebook or any kind of social media at all. She has friends that she texts, but she's limited on that as well, as I only allow her to text girls I know, and even then, it's only a few of them. I will never apologize for being this way with my girls. They may not appreciate it now, but hopefully they will later. Hopefully.




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  4. #184
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by OscarB63 View Post
    Do you know how many times that scene has played through my mind as I read this thread? As I kept reading all the comments about, "I called so and so to say I'm sorry," all I could see was that at least Steve Buscemi wasn't going to show up at your house, wearing lipstick and carrying a rifle.




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  5. #185
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mason66 View Post
    If that is true, the question is why. Why is something that happened during the school years affecting a person years later?
    As Radcen and I were discussing earlier, it could simply reflect that these people are somehow mentally weak to begin with and that bullies are attracted to them, sensing the weakness, and compounding problems they may have been hard-wired to experience regardless of the environmental issues in their youth. I don't think we have answers yet - I simply added the reference to the study to indicate not all kids benefit and toughen-up from the experience.
    "Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views." William F. Buckley Jr.

  6. #186
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by CanadaJohn View Post
    As Radcen and I were discussing earlier, it could simply reflect that these people are somehow mentally weak to begin with and that bullies are attracted to them, sensing the weakness, and compounding problems they may have been hard-wired to experience regardless of the environmental issues in their youth. I don't think we have answers yet - I simply added the reference to the study to indicate not all kids benefit and toughen-up from the experience.
    I understand that.

  7. #187
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Superfly View Post
    Gotcha. Well something I've noticed is that some parents have moved from the TV being a babysitter, to the internet, and that is sooooooo much worse than the TV ever thought about being. Parents need to wake the hell up and see what's going on in their kids' lives. I have said this before, but I unapologetically check my daughters' phones, and my older daughter, who hasn't made the best choices, is extremely limited in internet usage, and has no Facebook or any kind of social media at all. She has friends that she texts, but she's limited on that as well, as I only allow her to text girls I know, and even then, it's only a few of them. I will never apologize for being this way with my girls. They may not appreciate it now, but hopefully they will later. Hopefully.
    I think they will appreciate it - I'm a firm believer in the concept of children liking boundaries - they fight against them, but having boundaries helps them be part of something important. One of my generation's greatest flaws has been that we had so much and gave so much to our children, didn't give them those boundaries, didn't make them work for things, and many young adults now have an unrealistic view of how they should be situated in adult life. Hearing no now seems so unfair since they never or seldom heard it growing up.

    Being a good parent is never a bad thing - either your children will come to appreciate it, or even if they don't the chances are far better they'll be good adults and that's a parent's primary job.
    "Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views." William F. Buckley Jr.

  8. #188
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Dapper Andy View Post
    I just think there is a big different between something that are serious and others that are relatively trivial.

    "Gangs" of kids attacking the son you mentioned previously and severely hurting him is very serious but the daughter who had her feelings hurt is relatively trivial. I don't doubt being unpopular is no picnic but that's life.
    So boys who get beat up physically are a serious matter, but girls who suffer public ridicule and derision on-line is trivial? Did you really say something so callous and stupid??

    There are cases, probably thousands of them, where a girl has naked photos taken of her without her consent by a classmate in gym class, and those photos are distributed throughout the entire school and beyond, resulting in a flood of hate posts calling her a slut, whore, etc. Boys yell "nice tits!" as she walks the hall of her own school. She receives dozens of insulting texts, and if she has a facebook page, it is filled with derision, ridicule and taunts to "go kill yourself, whore". Boys don't want to be seen talking to her, girls either avoid her or join in the taunts. She's utterly alone. And it doesn't end when she goes home; it's on her phone, her computer, all over the internet. To you this is "trivial"? That is a completely disgusting and revolting point of view, reflecting no understanding, compassion or empathy. It's pathetic, and an unbelievably cruel thing to say.

  9. #189
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Captain Adverse View Post
    I grew up in Harlem, NYC. I also spent time with family living in Watts, LA just a couple of blocks from the Towers. No one had to report anything to me...I lived it. Don't pull that crap with me. I know whereof I speak.
    Good for you. I've attended affluent public schools and private schools my entire sheltered life. Life in the wine and cheese crowd is as ducky as ever. No problems with bullies in white america.

  10. #190
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Superfly View Post
    OMG I couldn't disagree more. You can recover from a fist-fight. Girls are killing themselves in record numbers because of cyber-bullying. Looking at it from your point of view, the numbers don't surprise me, because if it's not physical, it's not bullying, so go pull up your big girl panties, girlie, and get to school. If someone isn't hitting you, they aren't hurting you. Sheeesh.
    That's the way I see it and I was bullied pretty mercilessly myself. Hate to say it, but bullying made me what I am today. Without that tempering I doubt I would have been able to handle the more difficult **** storms I have been though. It taught me a very important lesson that when the **** hits the fan a clear head and open eyes are best. The bullying didn't stop at home either and we didn't have computers, I had brothers and sisters, and it was always a three or more on one affair. Quite frankly children today are way to sheltered, my littlest brother has never had the experience I and my other older siblings did growing up and I think it detracts a bit. We tease him but we are older and lazier now so its not near as harsh and we are much more good natured then when we were growing up. That's my take. Oh there was a saying growing up that we used to have, "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me, nener nerner. " We always tried to come up with good one liner comebacks. Never hardly worked except for every once in awhile we would knock one out the park so to speak. It was worth all the other failures to see the look on their faces I thought.
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