View Poll Results: How are we doing at addressing bullying?

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  • We're not doing enough.

    28 42.42%
  • We're right on track and taking appropriate measures.

    8 12.12%
  • We're blowing it way out of proportion.

    23 34.85%
  • Other.

    7 10.61%
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Thread: Bullying...

  1. #121
    Advisor Nynaeve Meara's Avatar
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by VanceMack View Post
    There is not 'an' answer. It is a complex problem. Most bullies are bullies because they have seen it or experienced it. Where bullies dont have parents actively and positively engaged in their lives it is very difficult to 'change' the individual. At some point they will get the bully beaten out of them or they will end up in jail. A violent response is often the ONLY effective response to bullies. It doesnt alter the bully...but it does effectively end a specific act of targeting.

    In a perfect world we could take the bully, the parents, and effectivive counseling and effect positive change in the individuals life. That seldom works.
    Evidence suggests otherwise. Violent acts against a bully in modern times have proven futile in most cases as the bullying isn't always a result of a physical altercation. There are too many psychological factors with technology that allow for a confrontation that isn't done by all sides(parents, teachers, counselors, & etc). Failure to confront the issues of the bully(by their peer groups and guardians) only result in less in your face bullying and more behind the back of the bullied person. This can be seen all over the world and in the human population, which is why "news" sites like TMZ make so much money. The hottest rumor or gossip is just another version of bullying only on a larger scale.
    "I can't abide women who poke their noses into other people's business."
    “Men are strange. I think it has something to do with the hair on their chins.”

  2. #122
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by CRUE CAB View Post
    Then the principle should have manned up and handed him a business card of the lawyer the school board uses.
    Then say "seeing as you have brougth lawyers into this conversation, here is the name of ours. All communication between you and the school will be handled through them. Now leave my office".
    All too often it's the school board and/or the school district's lawyers who tell the principal when they will stand up and when they will back down.
    If you claim sexual harassment to be wrong, yet you defend anyone on your side for any reason,
    then you are a hypocrite and everything you say on the matter is just babble.

  3. #123
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by CRUE CAB View Post
    Ted Bundy, case closed.
    Not so easily case closed. Was Ted Bundy a soc or psychopath? His behaviors lean more to the psychopath. There are a LOT of people that are a tipping point away from sociopathy. Many care providers have to deal with some of the ugliest **** you can imagine on a daily basis and have to learn how to 'compartmentalize'. There is a danger when we become so good at compartmentalizing that we simply shut down the human and emotional side. Like all personality disorders there is a real and valid question as to whether or not it is innate or learned and once diagnosed, if it is possible to 'change' personality or just resist personality traits. I have met a few (but only a few) young people that could indeed be classified as a true 'sociopath' with no link to contributing trauma. Scary little ****ers.

  4. #124
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Superfly View Post
    Understandable. But there are lots of ways that kids are bullied that go above and beyond, "Sally said I'm a fatty," or anything like that. Internet bullying is really a problem - much moreso than I though until I watched this movie with my girls about cyberbullying. I was always like, "Oh just get up and walk away from the computer if it's that bad," but that was a very simplistic way to look at it. It's more than that. Computers are encompassed in kids lives these days (most of them, anyway) and bullying online is even more harsh than in person. We all know from experience that people are nastier online, and would say much worse things online, than in person. That kind of thing can be stopped, and should be stopped, but usually it's not, until it's too late.
    I suspect that the cyber aspect is what has caused the issue to increase. Back in the day, at least you could go home and be with your own family and escape the onslaught for awhile. Now, kids can't even do that.
    If you claim sexual harassment to be wrong, yet you defend anyone on your side for any reason,
    then you are a hypocrite and everything you say on the matter is just babble.

  5. #125
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    Re: Bullying...

    my brothers always joke that I am one step away from becoming "Dexter"
    The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

    An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

  6. #126
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Nynaeve Meara View Post
    Evidence suggests otherwise. Violent acts against a bully in modern times have proven futile in most cases as the bullying isn't always a result of a physical altercation. There are too many psychological factors with technology that allow for a confrontation that isn't done by all sides(parents, teachers, counselors, & etc). Failure to confront the issues of the bully(by their peer groups and guardians) only result in less in your face bullying and more behind the back of the bullied person. This can be seen all over the world and in the human population, which is why "news" sites like TMZ make so much money. The hottest rumor or gossip is just another version of bullying only on a larger scale.
    As I said it is a complex problem. Violence can be an effective tool to stop an incident of bullying. That doesnt necessarily change the bully. Where parental support is not a realistic option, the only way bullies tend to stop is when consequence becomes so great that they resist. However...if you are a kid being bullied, waiting for the magic cure and enduring incidents of bullying is untenable.

  7. #127
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by radcen View Post
    I suspect that the cyber aspect is what has caused the issue to increase. Back in the day, at least you could go home and be with your own family and escape the onslaught for awhile. Now, kids can't even do that.
    Agreed. It also has the capacity to go much, much larger, as it can even be seen by other kids, other school districts, even other cities and states. Sometimes, I think the internet is one of the best things to ever happen to us. Other times, when I look at my teenage daughters, I think that it's probably one of the worst. The internet has made parenting infinitely harder.
    Quote Originally Posted by Chomsky
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  8. #128
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by OscarB63 View Post
    my brothers always joke that I am one step away from becoming "Dexter"
    Quote Originally Posted by Chomsky
    It's easy to be a Conservative, until you need help.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cardinal
    After years of condemning Bill Clinton for being a rapist, Republicans apparently changed their minds about the whole thing and elected one of their own.
    Quote Originally Posted by iliveonramen
    Fox News knows their audience. Nuance and facts aren't why they tune in.

  9. #129
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Nynaeve Meara View Post
    Violence is not the answer and it seems to be very much part of the culture you grew up in.
    You think so? When I was a freshman in high school there was a girl this one guy liked, but she liked me and it pissed him off. He (let's call him E) had this buddy (MM) who was like a hulk compared to the rest of us kids, weighed like 180 lbs and could bench press 200. Real musclebound but not too smart, so E decided to have MM deal with me by having him pick a fight with me in the boys locker room during gym class. I weighed like 120 lbs, just a regular kid, and kept telling him I didn't want to when he sucker punched me.

    So I fought back...in front of my whole gym class. I got a couple of good licks in at first but hardly fazed him. The kids watching started by making fun of me (you know, sucking up to the bigger guy), but then they started getting quiet, and then started telling me to stay down and telling MM to stop. MM must have knocked me down about eight times before a teacher got there. But I never stayed down. I just kept getting up.

    Ther principal suspended us both for a week. But after that day NO ONE in school ever messed with me again, including MM. Sometimes violence DOES solved the problem.
    If I stop responding it doesn't mean I've conceded the point or agree with you. It only means I've made my point and I don't mind you having the last word. Please wait a few minutes before "quoting" me. I often correct errors for a minute or two after I post before the final product is ready.

  10. #130
    Advisor Nynaeve Meara's Avatar
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    Re: Bullying...

    Quote Originally Posted by VanceMack View Post
    As I said it is a complex problem. Violence can be an effective tool to stop an incident of bullying. That doesnt necessarily change the bully. Where parental support is not a realistic option, the only way bullies tend to stop is when consequence becomes so great that they resist. However...if you are a kid being bullied, waiting for the magic cure and enduring incidents of bullying is untenable.
    I don't consider stopping a single incident of bullying would be an effective treatment if someone was hurt physically as a part of that confrontation. All that does is teach someone that violence is the answer to their problems if they are being hurt. Which can reinforce negative behaviour throughout their adult life. The ideal solution would involve all aspects of the bullies life which can be accomplished if everyone agrees on the issue to begin with. Since it is usually a learned response (bullying) that makes it that much harder if the parents simply don't see it as a problem or are the cause of the problem to begin with.
    "I can't abide women who poke their noses into other people's business."
    “Men are strange. I think it has something to do with the hair on their chins.”

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