And the beliefs you hold? They're about that.Wikipedia:
This does not describe the singular belief that there isn't a metaphysical universe ruled by a supernatural monster that's flying around in space.
Describes a belief about them.Still does not describe a disbelief in things that are extremely improbable.
Does it describe a belief about them?Nope, still doesn't do it.
We can't.We could go through every reference on language there is, and they'll all say the same thing. If you've redefined the word "religion" to mean "a belief or disbelief in something", you can't expect the rest of the world to start using your new definition just because you're so special.
Stop. You have a belief about the universe.Second of all, a single religious belief is not a religion. Judaism, Christianity, Islam and Baha'i all believe in the same god, but they're all very different religions. To say that a belief or disbelief in a supernatural entity is, in itself, a religion would mean that those are all just different denominations of teh same religion, which is very far from any standard definition.
No, it's the same definition. Stop being so scared.I know you feel very strongly that the definition of "religion" you've made up is better than the one the rest of the English-speaking world uses, but that's not really meaningful to anyone but you.