Well the majority of gay people concentrate really hard on being straight for most of their young lives, and it doesn't work. Not only that, but they never concentrated on becoming gay in the first place, so it clearly is not a choice. If you think homosexuality is a choice, then choose it. Good luck.
There are many reasons why I don't choose homosexuality. I described my fear of social consequences and my fear of an identity crisis (also a social consequence) in an earlier post. I know, I know. You would say that I MUST be a bisexual or maybe a closet homosexual, living as a heterosexual. I would agree with the former, because as I said before, I *believe* we can change orientation/attraction... and that makes us bisexuals.
No, which is why I said you can't choose to have a bisexual orientation. Orientation cannot be chosen. When you talk about people being with girls and then guys, you can only assume they are bisexual. It makes no sense to assume they are changing orientations.
That is based on the unproven premise that orientation can't be chosen. But what if it can? Then more of that line of logic collapses. I'm not trying to say that you are wrong and I am right. I'm only discussing what I believe and questioning what you believe.
Before posting, I re-read the APA's blurbs on orientation and its causes. Regarding cause, the APA reports that there is no consensus regarding factor(s) that may lead to orientation. The APA also states that "most people experience little or no sense of choice" in the matter. This last sentence, of course is not conclusive proof.
I'm sticking to this topic as long as I have people who read and respond to my ideas. Here's another idea....
Gender equality is on the rise in America. Activities in school that were once segregated are now not. Boys can play dress up and doll house in kindergarten and girls can build block towers and knock 'em down. High school sports are becoming more desegregated. Female place kickers and quarterbacks on the football team. Even if the teams are not integrated, more schools are creating leagues for the girls to play the same sports as the boys, such as lacrosse.
Those are just a few examples. There are plenty of non-examples. But I believe that the trend is toward equality.
Now, assuming that girls can do what boys can do, and vice versa, (Oh! and females are now allowed on navy submarines and their role in combat is expanding) the obvious gender differences (gender, not sex, not biology) are getting smaller. What are some other gender differences besides clothing, haircuts, sports, and toys? Here is my idea...
The romantic love that a man feels for a woman and vice versa was based in large part on gender differences. This romantic love was defined in part by the fact that it was different from male-male camaraderie/loyalty and female-female camaraderie/loyalty. Traditionally speaking, male-male camaraderie is not romantic; is not love. Or is it?
If the gender differences listed above are disappearing/getting smaller, then why can't the same be said of the difference b/w male-male (heterosexual) camaraderie and female-female (heterosexual) camaraderie as compared to male-female romantic love?
Here's an example. BTW I'm sorry if I'm not making myself clear. This is a new idea and I'm hearing it for the first time myself. Example: I have a few close friends in life. Male friends. My buds, my bros. Guys I tell every secret to, guys with whom I feel no shame because we know each other for so long and so well. Guys I served with, was deployed with, guys I went to college and grew up with. I am loyal to these guys. I am there when they need me, I do not hesitate to ask them for help. When I walk into a room full of strangers and one of my bros is there, I immediately feel better/relieved. This feeling of relief is very similar to the feeling I get when I meet my wife in a room full of strangers. Likewise, the devotion and loyalty and sacrifices I would make to these guy friends are the same (as far as I can tell) that I would make for my wife.
Can it then be concluded that my love for my guy friends the same as my love for my wife? Now, with gender differences taken into account, you would say no. Guys are just buddies, life-long, throw-theirselves-on-a-grenade-for-you buddies. While women/wives are the ones we get intimate with, write poetry for, go through embarrassing situations with her friends/relatives for, have children with, grow old and die with. Afterall, we are men and they are women and THAT is the difference. But... if gender differences among clothing, haircuts, toys, sports and combat are going away, then shouldn't the distinction b/w feelings for bro's and spouses go away too?
Furthermore, I would share my writing with my bros and be their wingman in any social occasion no matter how embarrassing. So that distinction b/w bro-love and wife-love also disintegrates.
In other words, If all or nearly all gender differences b/w men and women disappear, resulting in men and women fulfilling identical roles in both society and relationships (cooking, cleaning, changing the oil, fixing the garbage disposal) then what remains that separates Bro-Love from Wife-Love?
