View Poll Results: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

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  • Yes

    44 16.99%
  • No

    171 66.02%
  • Maybe/Don't Know

    44 16.99%
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Thread: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

  1. #561
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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by USNavySquid View Post
    well, that is where i disagree. i believe that we get attracted by... first, choosing to pay attention, then choosing what particular thoughts to entertain. then by choosing to let those thoughts/images continue long enough to have a reaction on us.

    I identify as heterosexual. I fantasize sex with women. If i chose, I could picture a man, fantasize about him, and , as long as i push away the discomfort, ignore my fear of consequences, ignore what i thought my identity was all along, then i could enjoy this fantasy and masturbate to it. and orgasm. But, if i indulge in the thoughts that allowing this fantasy to go on will have negative consequences for me, then i am less likely to allow the fantasy to play out to the endpoint of orgasm. if i indulge my initial distaste, then i will never get past that distaste and discover the pleasure that this fantasy could lead to.

    I think that is what people do. They immediately stop certain thoughts from continuing, OR after only a short time with minimal effort, they give up. This prevents the fantasy and the orgasm from ever developing. The reason, is that they chose to entertain the thoughts of the negative consequences. Now i understand that some of these neg consequences are very real. but that does not mean that they can not be ignored.

    there are people who say they have tried and tried to get aroused by women. I don't dispute that. I dispute HOW they tried, and HOW long they tried, and how much effort they put into ignoring the potential neg consequences.
    Do it. Go have sex with a man. Demonstrate your theory.

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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Boo Radley View Post
    Do it. Go have sex with a man. Demonstrate your theory.
    To be honest, I'm afraid. And indulging that fear, rather than ignoring it, is a choice. I think, for me, if there wasn't such a stigma, if i hadn't been living as a heterosexual for so long, (my friends, family, they all identify me as heterosexual. that equals pressure to remain true to what they see.) then i could experiment much more easily. For some, the stigma and ostracism can be ignored. That is their choice.

    Not only that, but by now, i am comfortable with who i am. if i were to experiment, i fear that would change how i see myself. i would no longer be sure of who i am. that in itself, is scary.

  3. #563
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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Boo Radley View Post
    Did you try out sex with each?
    Why would that be a qualifier? Do you always try everything out before you make a decision? How about Bestiality? Did you screw a dog first to make sure that you dont like to screw dogs? Or perhaps one should screw a corpse to make sure that they are not a necrophiliac.

  4. #564
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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by FreedomFromAll View Post
    Why would that be a qualifier? Do you always try everything out before you make a decision? How about Bestiality? Did you screw a dog first to make sure that you dont like to screw dogs? Or perhaps one should screw a corpse to make sure that they are not a necrophiliac.
    No, dogs can't consent. But when I shop for cars, I try them out. Kick the tires. I didn't marry the first female I won't out with. I checked more than a few out. You can't really choose if you don't.

    AUSTAN GOOLSBEE: I think the world vests too much power, certainly in the president, probably in Washington in general for its influence on the economy, because most all of the economy has nothing to do with the government.

  5. #565
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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by USNavySquid View Post
    an erection can be the result of events that are within our control. what i think about is in my control. the amount of concentration i put towards it, is in my control. The neighbor is mowing his lawn but i will concentrate not on the noisy mower but rather her legs round my waist. Do you see the choices there? do you see the voluntary effort. Of course, erections can also be involuntary.

    your last sentence is beneath you.
    just because you have mastered inducing an erection didn't mean that every time youget one its because you have induced it. I have a tendency to get random erections for no reason, no provocation, that is most erections i get. certainly i can induce one but one of my kids friends can induce a nose bleed. That doesn't mean all nose bleeds are chosen.

    Erections are largely involuntary. I am not thinking about sex at all when I get them. So speak for yourself.

    My last sentence is a reflection of myself. I used to say the exact same words when I was in denial of my sexual orientation. I convinced myself of the same things you are saying here. I see me in your words. It isn't something that is a choice for most people, bisexuals have a choice. But that is a very uncommon sexuality. I used to believe that my draw toward the same sex was something I chose. It disgusted, I hated that part of me. But there was no choice in the matter. You are likely either bisexual or in the same level of denial if you truly believe what you are saying.

    erections are involuntary typically they aren't triggered by sexual thought its the other way around. The only reason I say that is because thus was my field of study for my masters that i planned to get in human sexuality. It isn't common that men chose to get erections, just ask a married woman. That was a common problem in their husbands. Even though they thought their wives were sexy and wanted to have sex it just didn't work or it stopped working half way into it.

    So I don't know what research you have done, but everything you have said about male sexuality has been a major exception.

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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by FreedomFromAll View Post
    Why would that be a qualifier? Do you always try everything out before you make a decision? How about Bestiality? Did you screw a dog first to make sure that you dont like to screw dogs? Or perhaps one should screw a corpse to make sure that they are not a necrophiliac.
    You basically asked me the same thing. Were the circumstances right to know you weren't heterosexual. I have you a long thoughtful response, I didn't through red herrings.

    You would likely know you were asexual before screwing objects such as dogs and human remains. This post was beneath you.

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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    I chose that it isn't. You don't just suddenly choose to become straight or gay.

    In theory one could experiment but the conclusions would only be an affirmation of what one already was, rather than a voluntary choice.

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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by USNavySquid View Post
    To be honest, I'm afraid. And indulging that fear, rather than ignoring it, is a choice. I think, for me, if there wasn't such a stigma, if i hadn't been living as a heterosexual for so long, (my friends, family, they all identify me as heterosexual. that equals pressure to remain true to what they see.) then i could experiment much more easily. For some, the stigma and ostracism can be ignored. That is their choice.

    Not only that, but by now, i am comfortable with who i am. if i were to experiment, i fear that would change how i see myself. i would no longer be sure of who i am. that in itself, is scary.
    I was terrified of indulging that part of me, i stayed in the closet until I was 27. I wasted so many years being brow beaten by living up to a heterosexual orientation.

    Thus post Navy squid really makes me think you are not heterosexual, that you are under the same illusion i was. This is hitting me at my core because it caused so much pain in my life. Faking it to please others.

    Yes you can chose not to, but if you are gay and you are attempting to be straight this is an awful way to live. You will nit find happiness until you let go.

    No I know I heard that same advice when I was where you appear to be and i simply thought, "f-off, you don't know me" but was those words that resonated with me until I finally accepted myself.

    If you are feeling this way, you are not alone. If not, i will get off of this subject.

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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by CLAX1911 View Post
    just because you have mastered inducing an erection didn't mean that every time youget one its because you have induced it. I have a tendency to get random erections for no reason, no provocation, that is most erections i get. certainly i can induce one but one of my kids friends can induce a nose bleed. That doesn't mean all nose bleeds are chosen.

    Erections are largely involuntary. I am not thinking about sex at all when I get them. So speak for yourself.

    My last sentence is a reflection of myself. I used to say the exact same words when I was in denial of my sexual orientation. I convinced myself of the same things you are saying here. I see me in your words. It isn't something that is a choice for most people, bisexuals have a choice. But that is a very uncommon sexuality. I used to believe that my draw toward the same sex was something I chose. It disgusted, I hated that part of me. But there was no choice in the matter. You are likely either bisexual or in the same level of denial if you truly believe what you are saying.

    erections are involuntary typically they aren't triggered by sexual thought its the other way around. The only reason I say that is because thus was my field of study for my masters that i planned to get in human sexuality. It isn't common that men chose to get erections, just ask a married woman. That was a common problem in their husbands. Even though they thought their wives were sexy and wanted to have sex it just didn't work or it stopped working half way into it.

    So I don't know what research you have done, but everything you have said about male sexuality has been a major exception.
    I never said all erections were voluntary. i agree they are not.

    of course i am bisexual. I can choose to have a homo or hetero orientation for as long as I want, as many times as i want in my lifetime. I don't make this choice. But I believe i can. What would stop me? being bisexual is what allows me to choose.

    I believe we are all bisexual. I believe that within that common denominator, people vary. I believe they choose to live as bisexuals, or they choose to live as homo- or heterosexuals all their lives, or switch once, or switch many times.

    I think the common concepts of "orientation" and temporary-ness and permanence as related to orientation, are limiting. I think categories are mutually exclusive when they don't have to be. Dichotomous, binary thinking is so easy. Why have multiple alternative explanations when my brain can only grasp two opposing ones? Easy right? It's a crutch.

    Of course everything i'm saying is a major exception. If my ideas marched in perfect step with what the majority believed, I'd be like you... telling people they are wrong. heh. I only state what i believe. If it were common knowledge, i wouldn't need to express it.

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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by CLAX1911 View Post
    I was terrified of indulging that part of me, i stayed in the closet until I was 27. I wasted so many years being brow beaten by living up to a heterosexual orientation.

    Thus post Navy squid really makes me think you are not heterosexual, that you are under the same illusion i was. This is hitting me at my core because it caused so much pain in my life. Faking it to please others.

    Yes you can chose not to, but if you are gay and you are attempting to be straight this is an awful way to live. You will nit find happiness until you let go.

    No I know I heard that same advice when I was where you appear to be and i simply thought, "f-off, you don't know me" but was those words that resonated with me until I finally accepted myself.

    If you are feeling this way, you are not alone. If not, i will get off of this subject.
    We are missing each other. To you, it is Either-Or. It is clearly defined. This or that. Hetero or not.

    I believe that we all are bisexual. we only choose to live a certain way for a certain time (even if that time is our whole lifespan, it is still changeable, temporary, not absolute etc). Therefore, as a result of my belief, I do not feel like i am lying to myself. I feel, instead, that i have made a choice. I am bisexual. AND (not but) for all my years, I have lived as a heterosexual. I may live as a heterosexual until i die. but i have always been a bisexual. b/c the choice is available.

    i wish i could express it better. I simply challenge the common way of classifying orientation as being one or the other, permanently. if you take away that classification system, then the pressure of coming out should be diminished. And if the whole world accepts a new classification system, the pressure/fear will imo, disappear.

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