View Poll Results: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

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  • Yes

    44 16.99%
  • No

    171 66.02%
  • Maybe/Don't Know

    44 16.99%
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Thread: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

  1. #531
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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by USNavySquid View Post
    I do. Everyday of my life so far. No intention to choose to be homosexual at this point. (And there are personal reasons for that) but who knows in the future?
    Do you have to seriously consider it each Day? Does it eve cross your mind that maybe today you'll have sex with someon father same sex?

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  2. #532
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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by USNavySquid View Post
    I wish to suggest alternate conclusions based on your experience. It may only be a matter of the words you chose in your post. If that's the case, then my suggestions may be misapplied. Here they are.... You said it never really worked, but could it have worked if a circumstance or two or three were different? Such as a location, a relative, or anything in your environment that had an influence?
    I would agree with you if the circumstance was adjustable by venue. Don't take offense to this but have you ever been in a circumstance where you thought that the same sex was more attractive than the opposite? The circumstance that needed to exist is that I found men not sexually appealing, more so than the particular female I was with. Take the most amazingly attractive women on the planet, not just looks, personality, humor the whole package. I wouldn't find her as attractive as my boyfriend, she hasn't a penis, she has breasts, where this things are nice, they are not as good as what I have. It's hard to explain just right but having sex with women is not exactly possible, much less tolerating sharing my life with one. If I didn't find men sexually and romantically attractive I would be asexual or non sexual. The dozens of women I had dated don't compare at all to the threemales that I have been with. That is pretty damning evidence. On top of that, I deeply loved more women then men. It tore me up to be with them, they deserved a straight man, I convinced myself that I could love enough to make one in particular become more of a compatible partner for me. It was her words that convinced me I was gay. I was with her for three years. She told me I was distant during sex, I couldn't last long. She told me one day that we had to talk. She asked me if I had been with a guy before, I confessed that i did once sleep with a boy when i was a boy and that I had a secret boyfriend that ended horribly two years before I meet her. I hated the experience i had with Josh when i was 19, I wad convinced it was because I want gay. Dated some women on and off then I meet her. Fell in love. it just broke my heart when she found out I was gay, that made me hate myself. If I had just tried harder. But her words were kind to me eventhough her heart was broken and she had all right to be angry with me, she told me that I tried for three years and never made it work. She always had a doubt about me though I never strayed from her, she did from me but I can't blame her the sex was so unsatisfying.

    I think in the three years I gave it I had enough to know it wasn't circumstantial, she was pretty, very much to me. Dark deep chocolate colored skin a strong but kind personality the same qualities i love in my boyfriend, but the sex is passionate and fulfilling, more than that our closeness is sustaining even though we have been through some hard things at times we were nearly walking out on one another but when we are in each others arms it doesn't matter.

    Excellent question, very well delivered and it made me really think. My hats off to you, you really made me think, hard on that one.
    You said that it is an illusion. I think "illusion" is a value-based term. In other words, whether or not it is an illusion is in the eye of the beholder. Of course, this is your experience and you are the expert on it.
    The illusion was mine, I was the last to be disillusioned. My ex girlfriend would cry sometimes after i fell asleep next to her. Her sounds would wake me, it ached so deeply that I couldn't find out why she was upset. I asked her a couple times, took her hand and pleaded with her that i wouldn't be mad no matter what she told me. I speak with her on occasion still 12 years later she confided in me that she really thought that there was something wrong with me not necessarily that I was gay, sexually damaged or in some way not capable of emotional attachment to sex. She told me she would cry at night after it dawned on her that i was gay and didn't recognize it and she felt selfish fur not breaking it off because she loved me.

  3. #533
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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by CriticalThought View Post
    I don't like assuming ALL people in a group are the same. That kind of assumption very rarely fans out, especially when dealing with a self identifying group.

    But let's look at the evidence.

    Homophobics May Be Hidden Homosexuals | Homophobia & Anti-Gay Sentiment | LiveScience

    I agree with your first statement. I think the reason those assumptions are weak is because people cling to differences, as soon as they discover a difference, the assumption fails. I suggest we re-define "difference, similarity, orientation." I think re-defining would ... preclude any of our assumptions from failing.


    regarding the article you linked....

    "The researchers said quicker reaction time for "me" and "gay," and a slower association of "me" with "straight" would indicate said an implicit gay orientation. "

    Please. That's an opinion. The quicker reaction time could mean that it is easier for me to identify what I am Not, than what I am. as in... A big ugly goofball?... NO! A dashing casanova? ... well, ... um.. (tick-tock tic-tock) yes.

    "In another experiment, the researchers measured implicit sexual orientation by having participants choose to browse same-sex or opposite-sex photos on a computer screen."

    I could be straight as an arrow yet still spend time looking at gay porn just because i'm interested from an intellectual standpoint.

    "This inner conflict can be seen in some high-profile cases in which anti-gay public figures are caught engaging in same-sex acts, the researchers say. For instance, evangelical preacher and anti-gay-marriage advocate Ted Haggard was caught in a gay sex scandal in 2006. And in 2010, prominent anti-gay activist and co-founder of conservative Family Research Council George Rekers was reportedly spotted in 2010 with a male escort rented from Rentboy.com. According to news reports, the escort confirmed Rekers is gay."

    Again.. the conclusion. I question Why was Ted Haggard anti-gay? Was he anti-gay because he thought gays were deviant and subhuman? or was he anti-gay because he recognized a platform by which he could gain political power?

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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Boo Radley View Post
    Do you have to seriously consider it each Day? Does it eve cross your mind that maybe today you'll have sex with someon father same sex?
    No. its a habit. its automatic. i don't give serious thought to it at all. Habits and programming can be broken, though, right?

  5. #535
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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by USNavySquid View Post
    I agree with your first statement. I think the reason those assumptions are weak is because people cling to differences, as soon as they discover a difference, the assumption fails. I suggest we re-define "difference, similarity, orientation." I think re-defining would ... preclude any of our assumptions from failing.
    Dude, you propose that all gays are the same. You simply argue that they can ALL choose to not be gay.


    regarding the article you linked....

    "The researchers said quicker reaction time for "me" and "gay," and a slower association of "me" with "straight" would indicate said an implicit gay orientation. "

    Please. That's an opinion. The quicker reaction time could mean that it is easier for me to identify what I am Not, than what I am. as in... A big ugly goofball?... NO! A dashing casanova? ... well, ... um.. (tick-tock tic-tock) yes.

    "In another experiment, the researchers measured implicit sexual orientation by having participants choose to browse same-sex or opposite-sex photos on a computer screen."

    I could be straight as an arrow yet still spend time looking at gay porn just because i'm interested from an intellectual standpoint.

    "This inner conflict can be seen in some high-profile cases in which anti-gay public figures are caught engaging in same-sex acts, the researchers say. For instance, evangelical preacher and anti-gay-marriage advocate Ted Haggard was caught in a gay sex scandal in 2006. And in 2010, prominent anti-gay activist and co-founder of conservative Family Research Council George Rekers was reportedly spotted in 2010 with a male escort rented from Rentboy.com. According to news reports, the escort confirmed Rekers is gay."

    Again.. the conclusion. I question Why was Ted Haggard anti-gay? Was he anti-gay because he thought gays were deviant and subhuman? or was he anti-gay because he recognized a platform by which he could gain political power?
    However you want to interpret it. I think at a certain point though, you are beginning to rationalize your confirmation bias. I'm off to bed, but I would like to see if you could provide some good evidence that homosexuality can be changed. Given that you are so ready to dismiss evidence that suggests otherwise, you must have some pretty excellent evidence beyond a few anecdotal accounts to support your conclusion that gays can choose not to be gay.
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    The economy will improve under this bill. If a few people die, it will be for the betterament of this country.

  6. #536
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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by USNavySquid View Post
    Thank you for pointing that out. I'll clarify. The issues that soldiers have (emotional numbing, hypervigilance, thrill seeking) ARE the PTSD. You get me? PTSd manifest as those issues. They are one and the same.

    Sexual assault however, is not one and the same as changing one's orientation. -in my opinion.
    But you stated that the trauma of the sexual assault is the catalyst for her choice to change orientations. Then by logical extension, the trauma that the soliders experience is the catalyst for them to choose to be emotionally numb, hypervigilance, etc.

    Now I agree that it's not the same as being born with a given orientation, nor was that my argument. I merely countered iacardsfan's assertion that for one to "change" one has to have had some level of attraction prior to the "change". However, in my sister's case, while not a choice, the change is indeed a change and most likely a reversible one should he ever bother to get proper treatment. Right now she is living a happy, functional life so I doubt that it will be.

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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by CriticalThought View Post
    Are you suggesting that you could look at a member of the same sex, become sexually aroused, and if you chose to do so, have a pleasurable sexual encounter with them?
    Hell yeah! That's why I'm saying that orientation is a choice. That's what we have been debating. haven't we?

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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by USNavySquid View Post
    Hell yeah! That's why I'm saying that orientation is a choice. That's what we have been debating. haven't we?
    Have you considered the possibility that you are bisexual and that other people who identify as "gay" or "straight" may not be as capable of choosing as you are?
    Quote Originally Posted by Bucky View Post
    The economy will improve under this bill. If a few people die, it will be for the betterament of this country.

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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by USNavySquid View Post
    No. its a habit. its automatic. i don't give serious thought to it at all. Habits and programming can be broken, though, right?
    Maybe. But if it never occurs to you, there really isn't a choice being made. It's a response. Think about when you were sixteen and how your body responded. What if your body responded automatically the same way, to a man as it did to a female? That would require a choice. But if it only responded automatically one way? Where's the choice?

    AUSTAN GOOLSBEE: I think the world vests too much power, certainly in the president, probably in Washington in general for its influence on the economy, because most all of the economy has nothing to do with the government.

  10. #540
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    Re: Is Homosexuality A Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by USNavySquid View Post
    I do. Everyday of my life so far. No intention to choose to be homosexual at this point. (And there are personal reasons for that) but who knows in the future?
    I respect your position.

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