View Poll Results: Should Parents Be Given More Freedom to Discipline Their Children?

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  • Yes, they should be allowed to use corporal punishment if they think it is necessary.

    25 71.43%
  • Yes, but only non-corporal methods should be allowed.

    3 8.57%
  • No, the new ways are just fine.

    7 20.00%
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Thread: Should Parents Be Given More Freedom to Discipline their Children?

  1. #41
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    Re: Should Parents Be Given More Freedom to Discipline their Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Goshin View Post
    In my state, it is highly improbable that any parent would be bothered by the government for merely spanking their children. I can't speak for any other part of the country.
    No one would look twice here, either.
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    Re: Should Parents Be Given More Freedom to Discipline their Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard Truth View Post
    Most violent criminals were violently abused as children.
    There is a huge difference between a swat on the butt and violent abuse. I got spanked as a kid when I miss behaved, as did my siblings and friends by their parents. None of us is a violent criminal.

    Part of parenting is knowing your children, what is actually effective in discipline for them, and applying properly.
    Building block or stumbling block.... choose.

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    Re: Should Parents Be Given More Freedom to Discipline their Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chaddelamancha View Post
    I voted, but don't think anything has really changed. I was spanked; I spank, the world keeps on spinning.
    I never hit my son, ever, and he's turned out fine.
    Maybe I was lucky.

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    Re: Should Parents Be Given More Freedom to Discipline their Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by molten_dragon View Post
    That's fine, I'd leave any home where the owner tried to tell me how to discipline my children anyway.

    I don't believe spanking should be a parent's only (or even first) method of correcting their child when they do something wrong, but I don't think spanking your kids for some things makes you a weak or bad parent. IMO spanking should be saved for when a kid really screws up. When they've done something extremely dangerous or stupid and need to be corrected immediately and strongly with no risk of misunderstanding.
    Any idiot can use physical violence to force/teach behaviour.

    The skill is to do so without resorting to such ridiculous means.

    If the only way your child will listen to you is to threaten/cause physical pain against them...then clearly they don't respect you nearly as much as a child who listens to their parents without being hit.


    Besides, physical pain as a deterrent deteriorates as the victim gets acclimated to it.

    I remember when my mother used to spank me, it bothered me less and less as I got used to it (fortunately, she never increased the severity of the spankings); so much so that in the end, it became little/no incentive not to screw up.

    So unless you plan on hitting them harder each time, it will lose it's 'effectiveness' with each application of pain.


    Finally, there are those parents that simply do not wish to hit their children.

    The thought is so uncomfortable that they cannot bring themselves to do it.

    You obviously have no such comfort level.

    Physically hurting your child does not bother you enough to not do it.

    Which speaks volumes about you - and all the others who do it - as a parent and a person.


    The bottom line is you consider striking defenceless children acceptable...noted.
    Last edited by DA60; 06-28-13 at 02:17 AM.

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    Re: Should Parents Be Given More Freedom to Discipline their Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by DA60 View Post
    Any idiot can use physical violence to force/teach behaviour.
    Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean that anyone who uses physical force to teach behavior is an idiot.

    Quote Originally Posted by DA60 View Post
    The skill is to do so without resorting to such ridiculous means.

    If the only way your child will listen to you is to threaten/cause physical pain against them...then clearly they don't respect you nearly as much as a child who listens to their parents without being hit.
    There are times when a point needs to be made to a child immediately and very clearly that something isn't okay. Spanking can be the best way to do that. It's best for younger children who are old enough to do dangerous things but not old enough to be reasoned with much yet.

    For example, if I had a kid that was 2 or 3 that ran out into the road, I'd spank them, because it's important that I get the point across to them immediately and without room for misunderstanding that that's something that isn't okay to do. Pain is a good teacher because it gets down into our unconscious minds. We're biologically wired to avoid things that cause pain. A three year old probably won't understand if you sit down and explain to him why the street is dangerous and it's not okay to play in it, but he'll understand pretty fast that playing in the street makes his butt hurt and avoid it for that reason.

    Quote Originally Posted by DA60 View Post
    Besides, physical pain as a deterrent deteriorates as the victim gets acclimated to it.

    I remember when my mother used to spank me, it bothered me less and less as I got used to it (fortunately, she never increased the severity of the spankings); so much so that in the end, it became little/no incentive not to screw up.

    So unless you plan on hitting them harder each time, it will lose it's 'effectiveness' with each application of pain.
    Which is why spanking is best used rarely.

    Quote Originally Posted by DA60 View Post
    Finally, there are those parents that simply do not wish to hit their children.

    The thought is so uncomfortable that they cannot bring themselves to do it.
    That's fine, I'm not saying you have to spank your kids or you're a crappy parent or anything. There are many different ways to discipline a kid, and every parent will need to find what works for them.

    Quote Originally Posted by DA60 View Post
    You obviously have no such comfort level.

    Physically hurting your child does not bother you enough to not do it.
    It probably will bother me to have to spank my kid and make them cry. Just like it would bother me to take away their favorite toy and make them cry, or ground them and make them cry. But as a parent you have to discipline your kid, and it's going to make them unhappy when you do. And I intend to use the most effective tools available to do that, whatever those may be.

    Quote Originally Posted by DA60 View Post
    Which speaks volumes about you - and all the others who do it - as a parent and a person.

    The bottom line is you consider striking defenceless children acceptable...noted.
    Yes, I do. I'm not sure why that's something to be ashamed of. Punishing your child is supposed to be unpleasant for the kid, otherwise it wouldn't be punishment. I'm not sure why so many people consider inflicting a little bit of physical pain which will fade in a couple of minutes at most to be such an awful thing. Why is that worse than taking away something they love as punishment? Doesn't that cause emotional pain? Why is that okay? Or grounding them in their room? When we do that in prisons it's called solitary confinement and people consider it cruel. Why is that okay to do to your kids?
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  6. #46
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    Re: Should Parents Be Given More Freedom to Discipline their Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by MoSurveyor View Post
    But it's only a kinda' sorta' "yes, they should be allowed to use corporal punishment if they think it is necessary." As I noted, they should try many other options before resorting to physical force. Your option really doesn't cover that caveat.

    From a pragmatic standpoint, minor (or restricted if you prefer) corporal punishment should be "de-criminalized" - not readily accepted in society but not illegal.
    Hmm, but doesn't "if they think it is necessary" cover exactly what your dillemma is? I added it because I agree that spanking is not the end all and be all of discipline, but only one option among many a parent should be allowed to use. Therefore, it would seem to me the option does not require a parent to spank, simply supports the use of the option if in the opinion of the parent taking into consideration all other factors, it is necessary to re-inforce proper behavior.

    For myself, "spanking" means use of the flat palm of one hand on the behind of a child 1 - 5 times. I would not opt to use an "enhancer" like a belt, clothes-hanger, paddle, or other inanimate object. I think that an open palm on the meatiest potion of a child's anatomy does little real harm to it while allowing the parent to feel the pain he is inflicting and use that to moderate the punishment.

    BTW, I don't equate a quick "slap" of a hand that is reaching for something dangerous as "corporal punishment," just a quicker and less harmful measure than jerking an arm out of it's socket.

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    Re: Should Parents Be Given More Freedom to Discipline their Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by molten_dragon View Post
    Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean that anyone who uses physical force to teach behavior is an idiot.



    There are times when a point needs to be made to a child immediately and very clearly that something isn't okay. Spanking can be the best way to do that. It's best for younger children who are old enough to do dangerous things but not old enough to be reasoned with much yet.

    For example, if I had a kid that was 2 or 3 that ran out into the road, I'd spank them, because it's important that I get the point across to them immediately and without room for misunderstanding that that's something that isn't okay to do. Pain is a good teacher because it gets down into our unconscious minds. We're biologically wired to avoid things that cause pain. A three year old probably won't understand if you sit down and explain to him why the street is dangerous and it's not okay to play in it, but he'll understand pretty fast that playing in the street makes his butt hurt and avoid it for that reason.



    Which is why spanking is best used rarely.



    That's fine, I'm not saying you have to spank your kids or you're a crappy parent or anything. There are many different ways to discipline a kid, and every parent will need to find what works for them.



    It probably will bother me to have to spank my kid and make them cry. Just like it would bother me to take away their favorite toy and make them cry, or ground them and make them cry. But as a parent you have to discipline your kid, and it's going to make them unhappy when you do. And I intend to use the most effective tools available to do that, whatever those may be.



    Yes, I do. I'm not sure why that's something to be ashamed of. Punishing your child is supposed to be unpleasant for the kid, otherwise it wouldn't be punishment. I'm not sure why so many people consider inflicting a little bit of physical pain which will fade in a couple of minutes at most to be such an awful thing. Why is that worse than taking away something they love as punishment? Doesn't that cause emotional pain? Why is that okay? Or grounding them in their room? When we do that in prisons it's called solitary confinement and people consider it cruel. Why is that okay to do to your kids?
    You obviously don't get it.

    Hopefully you will someday very soon.

    I used to think as you do long ago...not any longer.


    Good day.

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    Re: Should Parents Be Given More Freedom to Discipline their Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by DA60 View Post
    You obviously don't get it.
    Oh, I get it just fine, I just don't agree with you.
    If you build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day.

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  9. #49
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    Re: Should Parents Be Given More Freedom to Discipline their Children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Captain Adverse View Post
    Hmm, but doesn't "if they think it is necessary" cover exactly what your dillemma is?
    In actual practice it comes down to that, as I noted earlier, but in theory (like we're discussing) a parent could decide it was necessary at the onset instead of trying other methods first. We've seen that a couple of times in this thread. That's why I'm good with it being 'frowned upon' but not illegal.
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    Re: Should Parents Be Given More Freedom to Discipline their Children?

    Punishment upto a certain limit is good but when it crosses the limits, it becomes abuse..so i guess within limit everything is okay..and parents are not the one who has to decide the limits.

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