Gay marriage has been and always been about one word: marriage. This is most definitely NOT a rights issue (unless you think, like those dopey judges ((notice I didn't say bigoted))in Maryland who started this whole thing, that the word marriage is the only way to give the same rights and responsibilities as marriage).
Gay couples can have all the same rights and responsibilties of marriage without being married. I know of 5 US states that have passed union legislation (created by legislators) that has all the same rights and responsiblitlies of marriage. California, Nevada, Oregon, Washington, and just recently, Colorado. Can you dig it? These states have granted unions the same rights and responsibilties of marriage without the 'hassle' of gay marriage legislation, or by gay marriage decrees from state supreme courts.
Those 'equality' rights are the ability of a union couple to adopt. The ability of the union couple to share each other's assets. The only thing not equal, in my opinion, are the lack of tax advantages for a union couple. This can also be done with legislation - federal legislation. Instead of giving tax advantages to marriages, give them to unions, period.
So, let me ask this question: if gay communities want marriage so badly, why do they denigrate marriage so badly? Do they solely want to be married? The clear answer is no. They want, as do judges, to give everyone the same rights and responsibilities under unions as under marriages. They don't care if, in the process, the integrity of marriage is forever destroyed.
Gay marriage is not about rights, it's about politics. And socialism (exactness).