Would you marry a stripper?

Dion said:

I was thinking the same.

Congrats on quitting habits that could damage your health.

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Thanks.

sangha said:

If this thread is representative of real life, then a significant portion of the male population has dated a stripper with a heart of gold who really cared about them :roll:

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Forums are funny. For myself, I explained some of the odds and realities likely found in terms of exotic dancers. I suppose my view is somewhat rare in that I actually believe they are as highly diverse in nature as about any other category of employment you can find.

Don't be shocked. Not many men are going to post they dated a stripper and got conned out of a bunch of $$ and dumped.

What strikes ME about the forum is I wonder how any culture could possibly tolerate or evolve to Sharia law where women are covered in Burkas so not man can see her and be tempted by her husband. And then I read the messages on this thread and then it is not so hard to understand.

These bizarre cultural norms are just that - bizarrre - and fortunately we have rule of law and the Supreme Court mostly on the side of freedom, ie "porn" as an example.

You can go to any beach with young women and you will essentially be at a strip club. I suppose you technically don't see the tip of their nipples - just the complete imprint of them - but otherwise it is EXACTLY what you will see at a strip show. The ONLY difference is there aren't any obese, old, naggly, slough shouldered clumpsy women on the beach. BUT not ONE of those women need be wearing a bikini - she's showing it off the same as those women on the catwalk. And the men are looking - but don't want their wives or girlfriend to see him doing it.

The bizarre often faux and contradictory social normals - to which massive moral judgements are attached NOT for what the person is doing, but whether the person is with the right range at the right time at the right setting. Hell, 1/4th of television is essentially continously flashing little strip shows.

The claim that stripper = hookers is outright false. A stripper gets far more money of men than the prostitutes that work titty bars.

Dion said:

Yea ... I feel for anyone that has to take off their clothes for attention or money or any man that has to date someone like that. Well wherever you live those strippers outearn the strippers ten fold at any club in my city. Most earn at best 30 bucks an hour on a good night if they put their genitalia in mens faces and they are on tax payer medicaid for health care.

If they were willing to put effort into the many skilled jobs in the city they could earn a fair wage yet would not have sloppy drunk guys telling them they were hot to feel good.

Anyway to each his own and even though I personally would never find anyone as remotely attractive who did such (male or female) ... I think people should be allowed to do what they choose in life and clearly you are a male who did not mind and felt her word was trustworthy that she was different then other strippers in her interactions).

I do not care what the guy looked like ... if he gyrated his penis for money and swore on a stack of bibles he was different then all strippers and never conned ... I would not find it attractive.

Sounds like you hung at a unique club and felt you knew the people and trusted their stories so that is your experience.

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You assert the dancers could find good paying jobs and seemingly that they don't like what they do. Of the latter, unless you never wear makeup, only get your hair cut at the $8 shop and never deck out - then you too like men to see you as feminine attractive (or women if that's your interests).

Of the club I was at, few of those young women could have gotten anything but a part-time job at some cheap restaurant. Saying if a person tries really hard the person can get a decent job is a very popular middle class suburban and generally white thing to say. But I dunno, would you be willing to live in your car for a couple of years while you tried to learn a way out of an impoverished ghetto where you were raised by an alcoholic welfare mother who brought men over because he might get a few bucks and a few drinks out of it? And if you did, think it'd really work?

To which we come to the next white middle class suburban value of "those people did it to themselves by being lazy" - by not climbing out of a gutter they were born into and likely you cannot even comprehend what that reality is.

I'll acknowledge that many strippers con people, many get into drugs - and I'll point out there are few professions without con artists, drugs and alcoholics too. I suspect it possible the average female college freshman is as promiscuous as the average stripper and dope is everywhere.

Stippers - and yes they prefer "exotic dancers" - are the full spectrum of personalities. The good and the bad. Many on this forum want to focus on the bad.

I could focus on the bad of ministers and priests as a stereotype and then ask "would you marriage a minister?" from the perspective that they are nearly all sexual predators in general. Or I could pick politicians. Bankers. Housewives. Postal Workers. In the military. Housewives. Factory workers....

The closet thing I had to friends for a long time was mostly exotic dancers and moreso older ex dancers. The closest thing my (adoptive) daughter had for a mother, and the woman on that catwalk rarely is the woman off it. An exotic dancer is an actor more than anything else. So, I suppose, I should now go off on how decadent actors are too. I'm sure I could make a case for it.

Damn, I feel like I missed out on something never having dated a stripper...

DA60 said:

Actually, the vast majority of guys do not know.

I used to frequent those establishments years ago (during my drug use days) and I ended up being friends/dated/vacationed with several exotic dancers and I talked with LOTS of male patrons.

The VAST majority of the guys had no clue that the dancers number one tool was - as I used to put it - 'make the guy think you would date him if you could, but you can't'. Or to put it another way - get the guy to get a crush on you.

It staggered me how many guys were blissfully unaware of this fact.

Almost every dancer I knew I asked them one question - 'what percentage of guys that you dance for ask you out'. Not 'can I f@ck' you', or 'what are you doing later' - but 'you seem really nice, will you go on a date with me sometime'. Almost all of them said between 60-80% did ask them out.

So the vast majority of guys were actually falling for these gals.

Makes sense, average looking guys (and if you go to a bar like that - most of the guys are average looking at best OR very young) suddenly for the first time in their lives have attractive women (or at least, more attractive then they have previously dated) being SO nice to them and appearing to care about what they think/feel. It overwhelms most guys. I know it did me the first time I went in one of those places (then I learned).

Dion is right that it is not about dancing - it is about the talking.

Get a guy hooked and he will come back time after time and sink tons of money just to sit with the dancer.

That is why the clubs usually have a don't date the customers policy for the dancers. It's not for the clubs - it's to protect the dancers so they can say to all these tons of guys that ask them out - 'Sorry, I'd love to go out with you - but the club won't let me and I need this job'. Which of course is baloney as they can go out with patrons all they want - they just cannot bring them to the club and show up as dating.


And it's not just exotic dancers. Female bartenders, waitresses, etc.(to a much lesser extent). Why do you think they are generally good looking and so friendly?

Make the guy think you like him - bigger tips.

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I disagree. I think the MAJORITY of guys know what's up and are there to have fun and to look at boobs, because guys like to drink beer and look at boobs. :lol:

joko104 said:

I don't agree. It's not that he shouldn't TRY to find or have a spouse such as his values or whatevers want or need. To me, it's about his raging slurs and insults about women otherwise. I don't think any man who rages insulting, hateful and nasty insults about women - even if exotic dancers, swingers or prostitutes - is a good man.

There is a difference between saying "no, I wouldn't marry a stripper" to raging about and against them. In my view, such a man is a rager overall and would likely contantly be raging about one thing or another - all crap his wife would have to incessantly listen to. And, of course, if you see enough of his messages you realize it is NOT the sexual morality he's cursing and raging at - it's specifically women.

Personally, I think any man who rages at or about women is just stupid. There is nothing, exactly nothing, positive ever obtained by it. I've never known or even seen on this forum any women who did not treat any man raging insults and snide remarks about her or women as anything but an ignorant nobody not worth her time to even rage back at. He's just a loser to her.

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Well, I don't know anything about that, and the thread isn't about him, so it's kind of irrelevant.

Peter Grimm said:

A stripper is just a hooker with higher standards.

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I disagree, not if they're not doing anything on the side, then it's just a job to them. To YOU it might be sex, but to them it's just another job. :shrug:

For you guys who complain that the mean strippers are using and abusing you, just don't go to strip clubs. If you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen. :2razz:

spanky said:

Damn, I feel like I missed out on something never having dated a stripper...

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I only went to strip clubs for "ETS parties" in the military, and I don't like them (I'm too square, it seemed weird). I slept with a few that picked me up at IHOP at 3am and took me home, does that count?

ChrisL said:

I disagree. I think the MAJORITY of guys know what's up and are there to have fun and to look at boobs, because guys like to drink beer and look at boobs. :lol:

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I found that drinking the beer on nickel night at The Flaming Mug (Flaming Moes in The Simpsons, a writer was from Fayetteville) and then meeting the boobs at IHOP after last call was much less expensive and weird (plus the boobs take men home from there but not a club). I think some guys might be doing it wrong.

ecofarm said:

I only went to strip clubs for "ETS parties" in the military, and I don't like them (I'm too square, it seemed weird). I slept with a few that picked me up at IHOP at 3am and took me home, does that count?

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You slept with strippers? Dirty, dirty boy! :2razz:

ecofarm said:

I only went to strip clubs for "ETS parties" in the military, and I don't like them (I'm too square, it seemed weird). I slept with a few that picked me up at IHOP at 3am and took me home, does that count?

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What's an ETS party?

LOL - the real question should be: "If you're a stripper - would you marry one of the guys that comes into your club and knows you from your work?"

ChrisL said:

You slept with strippers? Dirty, dirty boy! :2razz:

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I think one was a hooker because she asked me not to kiss her on the lips (despite we were ****ing). That was weird, and I don't have any other explanation. There's no way my breath was bad, she smoked cigs.

ChrisL said:

What's an ETS party?

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End Time in Service. When someone was getting out of the army, the guys would have a party at a club. I only went for the dudes I knew.

ecofarm said:

I think one was a hooker because she asked me not to kiss her on the lips (despite we were ****ing). That was weird, and I don't have any other explanation. There's no way my breath was bad, she smoked cigs.

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Who was it? Julia Roberts? :lamo

ChrisL said:

Who was it? Julia Roberts? :lamo

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That happened in that movie? Maybe that's where she got it from.

ecofarm said:

That happened in that movie? Maybe that's where she got it from.

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Don't tell me you've never seen Pretty Woman? :shock:

Ooops! Was that a rhetorical question? Kind of hard to tell online sometimes.

ChrisL said:

Don't tell me you've never seen Pretty Woman? :shock:

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I'm sure a girlfriend made me watch it but I don't remember the movie - just the reward.

ecofarm said:

I'm sure a girlfriend made me watch it but I don't remember the movie - just the reward.

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It was just like you said, she didn't like to kiss any of her clients because she felt that would lead to emotional attachment.

ChrisL said:

It was just like you said, she didn't like to kiss any of her clients because she felt that would lead to emotional attachment.

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Yeah, I kinda remembered that. It's probably what made me think that was the cause. It's not like I have any other experience with (possible) hookers; at least, not for sure. As it was after the movie, she probably did get it from there. Anyway, she had a sweet corner apartment downtown with a nice view, probably more than stripping could pay for.

The logic is funny with some guys though. They go into a strip club, pay for lap dances, fall in love, and then get mad that the stripper doesn't love them back and then claim that she just used them for their money. Well DUH! :lamo

ecofarm said:

Yeah, I kinda remembered that. It's probably what made me think that was the cause. As it was after the movie, she probably did get it from there. Anyway, she had a sweet corner apartment downtown with a nice view, probably more than stripping could pay for.

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Hopefully you remembered your raincoat! :mrgreen:

ChrisL said:

The logic is funny with some guys though. They go into a strip club, pay for lap dances, fall in love, and then get mad that the stripper doesn't love them back and then claim that she just used them for their money. Well DUH! :lamo

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LOL!

Or the guys who go to the strip club - see their kid's teacher - and then pretends that it's a problem.

Aunt Spiker said:

LOL!

Or the guys who go to the strip club - see their kid's teacher - and then pretends that it's a problem.

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Well now, that's a little different IMO. I don't know how I personally would feel if I found out my kid's teacher was stripping. That is something I would definitely have to give some thought about.

ChrisL said:

I disagree. I think the MAJORITY of guys know what's up and are there to have fun and to look at boobs, because guys like to drink beer and look at boobs. :lol:

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I did not say why the majority of guys go to exotic dance clubs - obviously to get drunk and look at naked women.

I said (in essence) the majority of guys that get multiple, private dances (say more then 3) with dancers do not understand that most of the dancers are trying to get them to fall for them so that they will keep coming back for more. Most guys tend to think that when a woman is being nice to them that they probably like them. Dancers use this to try and extract more cash. Also, the more they can get a guy to have a 'crush' on them - the less dancing they have to do and the more money they get just for sitting around talking to these guys.
These dancers realize that you cannot keep a guy hooked by being good looking as there will always be someone better looking to take the 'regular' away from you. But if you get them hooked emotionally - they will never stray as long as they think they have a chance with you.
It's common sense.

I spend MANY nights in those places back then and got to know a lot of dancers and patrons personally.

I am not going to debate this with you - this was the case about 10-15 years ago.

Though what it is like now - I do not know.

DA60 said:

I did not say why the majority of guys go to exotic dance clubs - obviously to get drunk and look at naked women.

I said (in essence) the majority of guys that get multiple dances (say more then 3) with dancers do not understand that most of the dancers are trying to get them to fall for them so that they will keep coming back for more. Most guys tend to think that when a woman is being nice to them that they probably like them. Dancers use this to try and extract more cash. Also, the more they can get a guy to have a 'crush' on them - the less dancing they have to do and the more money they get just for sitting around talking to these guys.
These dancers realize that you cannot keep a guy hooked by being good looking as there will always be someone better looking to take the 'regular' away from you. But if you get them hooked emotionally - they will never stray as long as they think they have a chance with you.
It's common sense.

I spend MANY nights in those places back then and got to know a lot of dancers and patrons personally.

I am not going to debate this with you - this was the case about 10-15 years ago.

Though what it is like now - I do not know.

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Well then those guys are idiots. If you are paying someone to be nice to you, then that is what you are going to get. And if you delusional enough to believe that is love or any other kind of emotional attachment, then YOU are the one with issues. I use "you" generally here, not talking about you in particular.

ChrisL said:

Well now, that's a little different IMO. I don't know how I personally would feel if I found out my kid's teacher was stripping. That is something I would definitely have to give some thought about.

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If it's ok for parents to go to strip clubs - then it's ok for teacher's to perform in one :shrug: I wouldn't care . . . we've had some pretty ****ed up teachers doing ****ed up things to kids during school - and it's funny, none of them worked in a strip club.

Morality can't be judged by your late-night 'sideline career' - as DaveFagan said: normal people have problems all the time. (of course - that's a loose paraphrase)