Yes, if I believed she truly loved me for me and not because I was saving her.
No, nothing but trouble there.
I think someone needs a balance of having an ego and their view of self importance so that they have a healthy self image and recognize self worth, but when it goes overboard people think they are God's gift to the world and that everyone else is inferior and should be utterly grateful for the fact that such an Adonis is gracing an unworthy being with their presence.
Tired of elections being between the lesser of two evils.When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. -Socrates
I don't really even consider strippers sex industry workers unless they're doing a little something on the side. It's really not sex, it's just slutty topless dancing, and you can see thongs and women topless on the beaches of Brazil.
Too much stereotyping of strippers - though the title is "exotic dancer."
Here's how it is:
Many quickly are deeply into drugs and liquor, the party of it too. But definitely not all. Some are college students making extra $$ (my daughter works a night or two on weekends as an exotic dancer - though never goes full nude top or bottom. She is so skilled she doesn't need to. I think, largely she does this not just for the $$, but in a sense as a reverence for how from age 2 to age 12, the only "mother" figure she had - the only like-relatives she had too - other than me - was the dancers of the club where she spend part of almost everyday in a converted small back office into a mini-sleeping and play room.
I don't think she'll do it for long.
Some exotic dancers are married women with children, who go to work, do their job of dancing - and go home. Those tend to be the ones in the profession the longest. They also are "dancers," and do exotic dancing, not cheesy stripping routines or silly pole dancing.
Some will become prostitutes, but most won't or won't for long. Those who go full prostitution usually do so being heavy costly drug addicts, but not all.
More, exotic dancers - many, not all - are in the art of shaking down men - but the man doesn't get sex out of it. He hopes so. He hopes to get a girlfriend out of it too. But he never will.
A typical routine is for her to watch for a man is somewhat - but not too much - older than her, and who would be an attractive man but for some notable blemish. Maybe a facial burn, or a funny nose, big ears, balding... an insecure man who wants to be a winner and who believes people don't appreciate his inner real values as a good person - and she will find opportunity to tell some variation of this story...
She is in an abusive relationship that she doesn't know how to get out of. She wants to move, but her car is broken and she doesn't have money for a deposit because he steals her money. She's afraid of her boyfriend - and assures the man she's not trying to get money from him - rather she just appreciates him listening and apologizes for troubling him. She'll thank him for listening to her "like a friend" because most men just want to get into her pants and she's "not like that." She'd like to leave dancing too, get a regular job, maybe start a family... she'll praise him for "being a friend" continually, usually touching his hand or arm when she says it - and often how most men aren't friends, they are liars who just try to get into women's pants - most men are no good, where he is a good man and a good friend.
And over and over, she will thank if for "being a friend" and for being a "good man." Finally, upon the man's urging, she'll accept his paying to get her car fixed - gives her cash - and she'll tell him what a "wonderful friend" he is, a "good man" and "no man has ever done anything like this for me before." Of course, she can't actually move without first month's rent, deposit, and utility deposits...
But, at no time will she meet him outside of the club. No cell phone either because "her abusive boyfriend might find out." The only question is HOW LONG before the foolish man figures out he's never going to get into her pants, never going to get anything from her at all? She may be working 5, 10, 20 men at the same time this way and the routine. Finally, he does figure it out, goes into a rage - and bouncers have to throw him out assuring him that he better never come back or bother her again.
In the decade plus I was at my club, the number of such men run out the door when I was there was in the hundreds. And many, many who would stalk or come back and had to be dealth with accordingly.
They had come into the world of vices. Women. Sex. Liquor. Drugs. Prostitution. And they let themselves get shaken down by a woman who will dance for dollars. How is the really different from gambling heavy in Vegas or throwing money away at contest booths for prizes at a carnival? And he was lucky. He wasn't really hurt. Just some $$ gone and some ego wounds to lick, that's all. Most do realize to just let it go, hopefully learned something. If not, it he came back, he waited in the parking lot to confront her, or stalked her down on the street, then he would be hurt and maybe badly.
How do the women who do that look at it? Like what it is. Very sophisticated panhandling combining sympathy with male limbo as their sales pitch. Its just money to them - nothing personal - just like a super friendly carsalesmen selling you a tinkered up no warranty POS. And then your big surprise when you take it back and he explains "no warranty means no warranty." And, since the woman really had always only was accepting his friendship, never promised him a damn thing, what had she really done all that wrong? A fool and his money are easily parted.
But, again, each one - like all people - are different. The only comment I would make is if it troubles you in the slightest, don't date one or even an ex one. Don't do anything quickly in terms of decisions. Don't think of it is she's into drugs or booze. And try to find ocassions to observe her when she somewhere else and doesn't know you are there - watch her facial expressions for fake smiles. And you want to learn about her friends too.
Personally, I think some of the finest wives could be ex exotic dancers and even ex prostitutes. But, to be honest, that's just me - I didn't marry one nor have any relationship with one (or anyone else - ever). To me back then they were just what they were displaying. Sex. If she - or any other barfly - was game and I was interested, then that was all it was about. Or maybe she was a professional but would give me a free-be or deep discount. Sex. Nothing less and nothing more. But I used to have little respect for anyone anyway - women included.
And, in reality, the odds are not only against you have a good marriage with a dancer/ex dancer, but even against you being able to be certain what you really are getting into and what her real sentiments and motives are. BUT, if she was one of the good ones, and you two a match, you will have one of the finest, most loyal, mature, and devoted wives a man could have. So, of course, that means the caliber of the man better be pretty high too.
Last edited by joko104; 04-18-13 at 10:04 PM.
Oh, and of men who say "I'd never marry a woman who was/did ___________ in the past?" I bet at least 1/4th and maybe more men don't really know everything really she did that would fit in the blank.