Neither side in an argument can find the truth when both make an absolute claim on it.
First I need to qualify I have never assaulted a woman or child. And my life for the last 6 years or so is very civilized and docile. But in the past I knew many women who were violently assaulted, sexually assaulted and very violently sexually assaulted. Most, but not all, were barflies and prostitutes. But again, not all were.
Basically all those women had the same attitudes during the assault - in which circumstantially some put of a fight and some did not - there are situations where putting a fight is the correct decision, other times not.
What those women most tried to avoid is 1.) not being hurt anymore than she could avoid and 2.) not being killed.
Most, not all, would absolutely want revenge against the man. Often, not always, that would happen too. But NONE of them want their man - or any man - to go off in some wild emotional fury getting himself killed, assaulted or imprisoned in doing so.
The woman does NOT see such a man as doing so for her. She sees it as his doing so for his own ego. That his doing so actually is neglecting and betraying her needs for his own macho emotional needs. You don't help her by getting yourself hurt, killed or imprisoned. You hurt her more because you aren't there and it makes the violent assault even having caused her more lose.
In the impossible senario of the OP (because if he dies they both die), a "real man" would control his emotions and be there for her when it was over. Maybe you could catch the guy later. Maybe not. But he's there for her. That's what she'd want him to do.
Another thing is that I would want my wife to have some sort of defense...pepper spray...martial arts training...a concealed gun or knife....something that she could have to get away. I think most people would want their significant other to be able to protect themselves.
Libertarian and Atheist...wow I'm a hated man.
As for training (and I won't go on and on about it), do it situationally. Literally act it out with her. Over and over and over and over. Make the responses conditioned. Her best unarmed defense? A fast jamb in his eyes with fingernails. She should keep them long if her job allows it. And, of course, going thru avoidance in the first place is even more critical and for most more makes the different. The best defense against assault is avoiding being assaulted in the first place.
Obviously, all sexual assaults are not the same in terms of damage done to the woman (or man). Thus, a HUGE difference between aggravated rape and rape. Knowing which it would be would be difficult.
I do think - as you wrote it - the question is NOT what the behind-annoymous IDs macho Internet courage some of the men are explaining of "BY GOD I'D GET TO THAT BASTARD AND KILL HIM NO MATTER HOW MANY BULLETS HE PUT IN ME!" attitude. The question is "would you die to prevent your wife being raped?" The question doesn't seem to allow anything but husband is dead or woman is raped - pick one.
IF that is the ONLY info. 1.) I die. 2.) Wife then not raped - with nothing about the man having a chance to not die and get the guy - and not adding "aggravated, disabled, disfigured" to the "rape," - no I would not opt to die. I would far better serve her and our children by living. That is what she absolutely would want me to do. That is what the children would want me to do. I won't want to leave her from this life either. I would absolutely, 100%, not want my wife to pick her dying or my not being hurt either.
I could tell some annecdotals for my reasons and "proof," but that never accomplishes anything.
Maybe you've answered this one - can't remember. Would you rather your husband be murdered than you be raped? And do you think your husband shouldn't give a damn what your opinion of that is? There is life - and life together - after rape. There isn't after death. Thus, I see "what would the wife prefer?" as what should be the most relevant consideration beyond consideration for your own life.
I have no doubt that in that senario, my wife would be begging that man to take her and pleading with me not to get myself killed over it. Desperately - that desperation that I not die, rather than desperation of not being raped. What would you be doing?
if l really believe he loves me and feel that he would do everything to prevent me from getting raped or killed ,l would do teh same thing to save my husband
if it was asked to me a few years ago ,l would probably say " l would save him because l love him so much ".
but now l know the ones who claim to love you should prove their love to deserve teh devotion you will show them .
"Sovereignty is not given, it is taken." ATATÜRK