View Poll Results: what would you do

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  • l would try everything to protect her

    32 62.75%
  • l would only care about my own life

    1 1.96%
  • l would try to protect her without risking my life

    5 9.80%
  • l wouldnt do anything but then l would kill him

    3 5.88%
  • it depends on the situation ,l cant know what to do without experiencing

    18 35.29%
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Thread: for men - What would you do ?

  1. #191
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    Re: for men - What would you do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Harshaw View Post
    You just proved it doesn't address what I said. This is idiotic. Buh-bye.
    Your response to the situation is you'd get yourself killed, thus exiting the situation entirely because you just couldn't handle it. And, look at your message I quoted! I guess that is your instinct!

  2. #192
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    Re: for men - What would you do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by AreteCourage View Post
    I'm not a "tough guy" kinda person. I just stated what I would do if the situation was in front of me. Had she already been raped...I would make sure that she went to a professional psychologist. I would go as well because I imagine it would have a profound impact on my psyche.

    I'm not going to commit suicide at all. If I'm trying to save her and fail...it would be homicide.

    The only thing I would be able to do if it happened after the fact is tell her much I love her and stand with her 100%. I wouldn't abandon her or shun her because she was raped. I would be as much of a help as I could.

    Sounds like you're a good husband.

  3. #193
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    Re: for men - What would you do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by joko104 View Post
    I understand those are noble words, but there is a huge difference between opting to risk yourself being hurt and possibly killed, than risking a loved one hurt and possibly killed - COMPARED to dying to stop a loved one from being hurt. Of course, it depends on hurt how and how great a risk of death involved overall for the loved one versus myself.

    Although I'll avoid the absurd phrase "legitimate rape," rape is a huge spectrum of what that means - and specifically in terms of harm done and how much residual harm remains?

    Maybe not you, but my "loved ones" (which is a VERY short list) benefit from and need me for the future in numerous regards. In a few ways maybe uniquely so too. I can think of no instance where getting myself killed would then prevent my wife being raped. Rather, it would seem to assure the rapist would have to kill her, her being witness to my murder. BUT, setting that aside, my death doesn't help her. She already well knows I am entirely willing and able to be violent and hurt men for her. I would have nothing to prove up to her or to myself.

    I also am certain her foremost consideration and mine - and our children - would be focused on this thought about each and all of us: "stay alive."

    If it is a choice between breaking my arm or her's, beating the hell out me or her, shooting me or shooting her, take out me. BUT that is not the OP question as I read it. The question is would you die - knowing you will die - to prevent your wife being raped. I am 100% certain my wife would absolutely want me to not die in that situation. I know if it reversed, I absolutely would not want her to die.

    And I suspect, tables turned and this exact question put to her, her perspective would be exactly the same as mine - declaring she would prefer her hurt than me.
    I don't think you quite understand me. I will take the best course of action available, if all I have left is self sacrifice then so be it, if I have a 50/50 but my wife escapes I will engage, if flight is an option also acceptable, but flight is only possible if everyone escapes. Personally I'd rather but a bullet between the guy's eyes the second he breaks the plane of the door.
    Neither side in an argument can find the truth when both make an absolute claim on it.

    LMR

  4. #194
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    Re: for men - What would you do ?

    First I need to qualify I have never assaulted a woman or child. And my life for the last 6 years or so is very civilized and docile. But in the past I knew many women who were violently assaulted, sexually assaulted and very violently sexually assaulted. Most, but not all, were barflies and prostitutes. But again, not all were.

    Basically all those women had the same attitudes during the assault - in which circumstantially some put of a fight and some did not - there are situations where putting a fight is the correct decision, other times not.

    What those women most tried to avoid is 1.) not being hurt anymore than she could avoid and 2.) not being killed.

    Most, not all, would absolutely want revenge against the man. Often, not always, that would happen too. But NONE of them want their man - or any man - to go off in some wild emotional fury getting himself killed, assaulted or imprisoned in doing so.

    The woman does NOT see such a man as doing so for her. She sees it as his doing so for his own ego. That his doing so actually is neglecting and betraying her needs for his own macho emotional needs. You don't help her by getting yourself hurt, killed or imprisoned. You hurt her more because you aren't there and it makes the violent assault even having caused her more lose.

    In the impossible senario of the OP (because if he dies they both die), a "real man" would control his emotions and be there for her when it was over. Maybe you could catch the guy later. Maybe not. But he's there for her. That's what she'd want him to do.

  5. #195
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    Re: for men - What would you do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by joko104 View Post
    Sounds like you're a good husband.
    I am not married now, but if I ever find a woman that I want to marry...I will take the plunge fully or not at all. The commitment of marriage to me is important. I would have to know the woman for a few years before I would even entertain the idea of marriage.

    Another thing is that I would want my wife to have some sort of defense...pepper spray...martial arts training...a concealed gun or knife....something that she could have to get away. I think most people would want their significant other to be able to protect themselves.
    Libertarian and Atheist...wow I'm a hated man.

  6. #196
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    Re: for men - What would you do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Medusa View Post
    if a man with a gun wanted to rape your wife and threatened to kill you if you attempt to attack him to protect yourself and your wife ,what would your reaction be ?

    as a woman , if l really believe he deserves my devotion , l would do everything to protect him.

    so he must do the same thing ,l believe.
    Kill him or die trying while making sure his ability to cause harm had been neutralized.
    Having opinions all over the map is a good sign of a person capable of autonomous thinking. Felix -2011

  7. #197
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    Re: for men - What would you do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by joko104 View Post
    First I need to qualify I have never assaulted a woman or child. And my life for the last 6 years or so is very civilized and docile. But in the past I knew many women who were violently assaulted, sexually assaulted and very violently sexually assaulted. Most, but not all, were barflies and prostitutes. But again, not all were.

    Basically all those women had the same attitudes during the assault - in which circumstantially some put of a fight and some did not - there are situations where putting a fight is the correct decision, other times not.

    What those women most tried to avoid is 1.) not being hurt anymore than she could avoid and 2.) not being killed.

    Most, not all, would absolutely want revenge against the man. Often, not always, that would happen too. But NONE of them want their man - or any man - to go off in some wild emotional fury getting himself killed, assaulted or imprisoned in doing so.

    The woman does NOT see such a man as doing so for her. She sees it as his doing so for his own ego. That his doing so actually is neglecting and betraying her needs for his own macho emotional needs. You don't help her by getting yourself hurt, killed or imprisoned. You hurt her more because you aren't there and it makes the violent assault even having caused her more lose.

    In the impossible senario of the OP (because if he dies they both die), a "real man" would control his emotions and be there for her when it was over. Maybe you could catch the guy later. Maybe not. But he's there for her. That's what she'd want him to do.
    we are not discussing " what would you do if your wife was raped ,joko
    "Sovereignty is not given, it is taken." ATATÜRK

  8. #198
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    Re: for men - What would you do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by AreteCourage View Post
    I am not married now, but if I ever find a woman that I want to marry...I will take the plunge fully or not at all. The commitment of marriage to me is important. I would have to know the woman for a few years before I would even entertain the idea of marriage.

    Another thing is that I would want my wife to have some sort of defense...pepper spray...martial arts training...a concealed gun or knife....something that she could have to get away. I think most people would want their significant other to be able to protect themselves.
    Yes. But also don't assume because you're a guy your are safe, your presense makes her safe, or that just having a conceal firearm makes you capable of defending her - or yourself. So add yourself to the list of preparedness, not just her.

    As for training (and I won't go on and on about it), do it situationally. Literally act it out with her. Over and over and over and over. Make the responses conditioned. Her best unarmed defense? A fast jamb in his eyes with fingernails. She should keep them long if her job allows it. And, of course, going thru avoidance in the first place is even more critical and for most more makes the different. The best defense against assault is avoiding being assaulted in the first place.

  9. #199
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    Re: for men - What would you do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Medusa View Post
    we are not discussing " what would you do if your wife was raped ,joko
    In a way we are. If the man didn't charge the gun and get himself killed, in your senario then the wife is raped. I can't imagine such a senario, but that is the one you painted.

    Obviously, all sexual assaults are not the same in terms of damage done to the woman (or man). Thus, a HUGE difference between aggravated rape and rape. Knowing which it would be would be difficult.

    I do think - as you wrote it - the question is NOT what the behind-annoymous IDs macho Internet courage some of the men are explaining of "BY GOD I'D GET TO THAT BASTARD AND KILL HIM NO MATTER HOW MANY BULLETS HE PUT IN ME!" attitude. The question is "would you die to prevent your wife being raped?" The question doesn't seem to allow anything but husband is dead or woman is raped - pick one.

    IF that is the ONLY info. 1.) I die. 2.) Wife then not raped - with nothing about the man having a chance to not die and get the guy - and not adding "aggravated, disabled, disfigured" to the "rape," - no I would not opt to die. I would far better serve her and our children by living. That is what she absolutely would want me to do. That is what the children would want me to do. I won't want to leave her from this life either. I would absolutely, 100%, not want my wife to pick her dying or my not being hurt either.

    I could tell some annecdotals for my reasons and "proof," but that never accomplishes anything.

    Maybe you've answered this one - can't remember. Would you rather your husband be murdered than you be raped? And do you think your husband shouldn't give a damn what your opinion of that is? There is life - and life together - after rape. There isn't after death. Thus, I see "what would the wife prefer?" as what should be the most relevant consideration beyond consideration for your own life.

    I have no doubt that in that senario, my wife would be begging that man to take her and pleading with me not to get myself killed over it. Desperately - that desperation that I not die, rather than desperation of not being raped. What would you be doing?

  10. #200
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    Re: for men - What would you do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by joko104 View Post
    In a way we are. If the man didn't charge the gun and get himself killed, in your senario then the wife is raped. I can't imagine such a senario, but that is the one you painted.

    Obviously, all sexual assaults are not the same in terms of damage done to the woman (or man). Thus, a HUGE difference between aggravated rape and rape. Knowing which it would be would be difficult.

    I do think - as you wrote it - the question is NOT what the behind-annoymous IDs macho Internet courage some of the men are explaining of "BY GOD I'D GET TO THAT BASTARD AND KILL HIM NO MATTER HOW MANY BULLETS HE PUT IN ME!" attitude. The question is "would you die to prevent your wife being raped?" The question doesn't seem to allow anything but husband is dead or woman is raped - pick one.

    IF that is the ONLY info. 1.) I die. 2.) Wife then not raped - with nothing about the man having a chance to not die and get the guy - and not adding "aggravated, disabled, disfigured" to the "rape," - no I would not opt to die. I would far better serve her and our children by living. That is what she absolutely would want me to do. That is what the children would want me to do. I won't want to leave her from this life either. I would absolutely, 100%, not want my wife to pick her dying or my not being hurt either.

    I could tell some annecdotals for my reasons and "proof," but that never accomplishes anything.

    Maybe you've answered this one - can't remember. Would you rather your husband be murdered than you be raped? And do you think your husband shouldn't give a damn what your opinion of that is? There is life - and life together - after rape. There isn't after death. Thus, I see "what would the wife prefer?" as what should be the most relevant consideration beyond consideration for your own life.

    I have no doubt that in that senario, my wife would be begging that man to take her and pleading with me not to get myself killed over it. Desperately - that desperation that I not die, rather than desperation of not being raped. What would you be doing?
    l understand what you mean,joko

    if l really believe he loves me and feel that he would do everything to prevent me from getting raped or killed ,l would do teh same thing to save my husband

    if it was asked to me a few years ago ,l would probably say " l would save him because l love him so much ".

    but now l know the ones who claim to love you should prove their love to deserve teh devotion you will show them .
    "Sovereignty is not given, it is taken." ATATÜRK

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