View Poll Results: At What Point Should A Transgendered Person Identify Themselves As Such?

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  • When you first meet them

    6 12.24%
  • When you become friends with them

    11 22.45%
  • When you bewcome close friends with them

    8 16.33%
  • Before a first date

    28 57.14%
  • Before dating deriously

    24 48.98%
  • Before sex the first time with them

    19 38.78%
  • Before becoming engaged

    16 32.65%
  • Never

    1 2.04%
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Thread: At What Point Should A Transgendered Person Identify Themselves As Such?

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    At What Point Should A Transgendered Person Identify Themselves As Such?

    This will be a multiple choice poll, pick all that apply.

    At one point in time, there was an at times interesting discussion on this. Lots of new people around, so going to try it again. The poll lists a number of situations. At which of those situations should a fully post-op transgendered person identify themselves as being that to you?

    Note: A bunch of options, please be patient while I type in all the poll options. A poll is coming to go with this.

    Edit for clarity: please do not pick just the earliest possible time...ie if you choose "before a first date", please also "before seriously dating" and so on. It makes the relative standing easier to interpret. Thank you.
    Last edited by Redress; 03-25-13 at 05:28 PM.
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    Re: At What Point Should A Transgendered Person Identify Themselves As Such?

    I put the 4 things that had to do with dating/sexual relationships.

    It's not really anybody else's business if they're just friends or whatever. But when they start wanting to date someone, they deserve to know about it.
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    Re: At What Point Should A Transgendered Person Identify Themselves As Such?

    I might have been a bit harsh on the friendship question on second thought, but I stand by my vote for now. As for dating, I would need to know that what I'm seeing is not what I'm getting before anything even gets going. There is no reason to waste my time and theirs, so it's best they tell me before the first date.

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    Re: At What Point Should A Transgendered Person Identify Themselves As Such?

    Quote Originally Posted by Redress View Post
    This will be a multiple choice poll, pick all that apply.

    At one point in time, there was an at times interesting discussion on this. Lots of new people around, so going to try it again. The poll lists a number of situations. At which of those situations should a fully post-op transgendered person identify themselves as being that to you?

    Note: A bunch of options, please be patient while I type in all the poll options. A poll is coming to go with this.
    I voted "When you become friends with them" and "Before a first date." (That's "friends" not mere acquaintances.)
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    Re: At What Point Should A Transgendered Person Identify Themselves As Such?

    If you're talking anecdotally, in a potentially romantic situation, the only possible answer for me is "right when you meet them". Otherwise, to call it a "lie" would be a gross understatement - emphasis on "gross".

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    Re: At What Point Should A Transgendered Person Identify Themselves As Such?

    It really comes privacy, and what type of relationship you have with that person. I don't think a person needs to tell anyone besides people they are romantically involved with that they are trans. Now at what point is obviously subjective, and I'm not going to sit here, and say that this is what trans people should do, and if they do anything else they are wrong. It all depends on the people involved in the relationship, and the situation.

    Just for me though, I would like to know before we got seriously involved, just because I wouldn't want that person to feel like they had to hide that from me, and I would like to know they would trust me at that point.

    Now I don't think it's out of bounds for a person to not tell someone this at the start of dating, because first impressions are very big, and one has more to offer than the details of their gender.
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    Re: At What Point Should A Transgendered Person Identify Themselves As Such?

    Quote Originally Posted by Your Star View Post
    It really comes privacy, and what type of relationship you have with that person. I don't think a person needs to tell anyone besides people they are romantically involved with that they are trans. Now at what point is obviously subjective, and I'm not going to sit here, and say that this is what trans people should do, and if they do anything else they are wrong. It all depends on the people involved in the relationship, and the situation.

    Just for me though, I would like to know before we got seriously involved, just because I wouldn't want that person to feel like they had to hide that from me, and I would like to know they would trust me at that point.

    Now I don't think it's out of bounds for a person to not tell someone this at the start of dating, because first impressions are very big, and one has more to offer than the details of their gender.
    I find it one of those things where it is really hard to make a good call based on my opinions. I am not squeamish about the topic, I do not have to know in most situations. But there would certainly be a line where it would be important to know, not so much due to sex, but due to not being told meant hiding something from me kinda thing.
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    Re: At What Point Should A Transgendered Person Identify Themselves As Such?

    Quote Originally Posted by Redress View Post
    I find it one of those things where it is really hard to make a good call based on my opinions. I am not squeamish about the topic, I do not have to know in most situations. But there would certainly be a line where it would be important to know, not so much due to sex, but due to not being told meant hiding something from me kinda thing.
    For me it'd be due to sex.

    Not disclosing everything about your past isn't exactly uncommon amongst people. Not everyone is a completely open book; many people have skeletons in their past that they'd assume keep in the graveyard and not dig up for every future mate, even spouses of long periods of time.

    I've learned from times when women would ask me how many women I've been with in my life, and me not cushioning the blow enough. Of course, the relationship doesn't last anyway when people try to determine the future by deciphering the past.

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    Re: At What Point Should A Transgendered Person Identify Themselves As Such?

    I would say that might be a dealbreaker for some people. It's best to get it out in the open before the first date, otherwise it's very deceptive and just .... wrong.

    I don't think it matters as much with friends.


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    Re: At What Point Should A Transgendered Person Identify Themselves As Such?

    whenever they want......
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