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Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

Did this teen get punished too harshly?

  • No

    Votes: 36 49.3%
  • Yes

    Votes: 12 16.4%
  • I would have looked at other options

    Votes: 20 27.4%
  • Counseling would have been best

    Votes: 5 6.8%

  • Total voters
    73
  • Poll closed .
I don't have a problem with it. Humiliation can be a strong deterrent and a good punishment.
 
Look at Clinton's behavior. Look at the last vote. Gee, I wonder where kids are learning this from? Can a Parent actually offset so many examples given to our children by the public? Can they compete, realistically with peers and natural selfishness and greed when society now has almost made a religion of it?

Clinton is our most well liked President. You are obsessed with a personal matter that was none of anyone's business. What happens behind closed doors between consenting adults is protected by our Constitution.
 
I would prefer that she stood on the same corner holding a sign saying, "My Mom & Dad Suck At Parenting."

If you have to resort to public shaming for your child you've lost control. The child at that point is the manifestation of your lack of parenting skills.

It is probably a combination of the child and the parent. At least that's the way I see it. The parents were probably too lax at first and then realized they had a problem. The child thought they could do what they pleased and found out, not so much, and are now testing the boundaries and doing the normal rebelling that children do. There's bound to be clashes, control needs to be established firmly early and relentlessly. A lot of parental problems boil down to consistency which is VERY difficult to do. These particular parents are at their wits ends. So they are resorting to unorthodox methods. At least they are trying to be involved which more than many parents are.
 
Its not too far...not like they hit the girl or anything.

I'd say parents should be careful because these type of things could backfire and cause more rebellion.
 
Is there a cause and effect relationship between those two issues, or could both be due to changes within society?

It's hard to see how a corporal punishment policy at Sandy Hook Elementary could have prevented the school shooting there.

what would it have meant to Lonza since his mother was never around. It has to do with shooters. thanks for the laugh
 
A real bad idea.
 
I don't think they're horrible parents for doing that or anything. I think that a little public embarrassment can be a good way to punish a kid that age. And the dad stayed with her the whole time to make sure she was safe and to make sure she understood why it was happening.

However, I don't know that it was the best response either. From reading the article, it sounds like the parents attribute her recent acting up and bad grades to her uncle dying in Afghanistan. And if that's the case, punishing her for the behavior is really just treating the symptoms of the problem rather than the root cause. They'd have been better off taking her to someone who can help her deal with the grief and loss.
 
That sort of thing happens all too often now.

"My child says that he didn't do it, and he never lies, so you must be wrong."
"Why are you picking on my child?"

and the all time favorite: "Well, boys will be boys!"

to which the obvious response is, "Yes, they will be boys all t heir lives unless someone teaches them to be men."

But since their father, if he's even in the picture, is probably still a boy... what do you expect?
 
Clinton is our most well liked President. You are obsessed with a personal matter that was none of anyone's business. What happens behind closed doors between consenting adults is protected by our Constitution.

NOT when it is behavior inappropriate for the workplace. Had ANY other major CEO done the same with an intern of the company, in the office, and been made public - the ones who minimize and excuse Clinton's behavior would be forming a lynch mob for the CEO.
 
NOT when it is behavior inappropriate for the workplace. Had ANY other major CEO done the same with an intern of the company, in the office, and been made public - the ones who minimize and excuse Clinton's behavior would be forming a lynch mob for the CEO.

If it had been the CEO of a company no one would have known about it. There was no reason for it to be made public except political reasons. It was just another GOP travesty that keeps happening. The Reps. have no other way to compete. Their policies are so unpopular that they stoop to the lowest possible levels to make political points instead of doing the right things for voters. It is not working though, they have failed to win the popular vote in 5 out of the last 6 Presidential contests.
 
If it had been the CEO of a company no one would have known about it. There was no reason for it to be made public except political reasons. It was just another GOP travesty that keeps happening. The Reps. have no other way to compete. Their policies are so unpopular that they stoop to the lowest possible levels to make political points instead of doing the right things for voters. It is not working though, they have failed to win the popular vote in 5 out of the last 6 Presidential contests.

Nice attempted thread-hijack.
 
Clinton is our most well liked President. You are obsessed with a personal matter that was none of anyone's business. What happens behind closed doors between consenting adults is protected by our Constitution.

I assume you are referring to the Monica incident. I however was referring to his whole selfish, self-entitled attitude demonstrated by him throughout his career. If you want to discuss every single one of them, feel free. Please put it another thread though and get permission to use up that many Terra-bytes of storage. Further, how does his popularity change in anyway whether his actions were self-indulgent and morally contemptible? There was recently two high school football players who got convicted of rape, should we check their popularity before we decide their actions were wrong and contemptible? Also, if you are referring to either Monica or the Flowers woman, where is it Constitutionally protected? Last I checked, it was still a crime under the Uniform Code of Military Justice and that document has been vetted, many times, for constitutionality. Do you have some other reference where the courts have ruled on the subject?

The subject here was whether punishment was too harsh to a girl who was acting "self entitled". I stand by my statement that someone with the influence of Clinton, who clearly acted the same way, is a negative example to young people. Or to any person for that matter, young or old. When Presidents, the latest "Pop-tart" and so many others that influence people act in such a manner, it is not surprising to me that some parents, even when they have done a reasonable job of parenting, might lose control of a rebellious teenager.
 
Humility doesn't come from humiliation.

I'm going to have to disagree there. First comes (agreeably) rage. Then comes exhaustion. Then comes humility.


None of us know this girl, none of us know these parents, none of us know what has or hasn't worked in raising this child, yet all of us seem to be willing to assume that we can operate as if we did have access to all these particulars... :shrug:


Personally, I plan on using public humiliation as a tool - just precisely as my parents did. When I hurt someone else or was cruel to them, I was forced to apologize and admit what I had done - in public. It was humiliating. Our culture teaches (and we are naturally inclined to) self-justification as a default position. It is far easier to just say "sorry" quickly, quietly, privately (which is a way of publicly pretending you didn't do the deed) or "sorry that you didn't like what I did" (which is a way of putting the blame on the other).

Associating doing wrong to another with publicly admitting it, however? That was a powerful incentive, and put me in the right position vis-a-vie my actions towards others.
 
Thing is, a kid doesn't just start getting bad grades. If her parents were on top of it from the get-go, they'd notice she wasn't doing homework, studying, etc., etc.

Positive reinforcement works better than a belt. ;)

An aside. My brother-in-law had a bloodhound that they insisted be put into the basement whenever they went out. This was always a wrestling match, with hubby or wifey practically falling down the stairs trying to get him in the basement. Yelling! Screaming! Swatting! OMFG!

One day I'd had enough. I got a Milk Bone, took six steps down, offered it up, and down he came. They rewarded him in the future and never had another problem. In fact? He couldn't WAIT to get down those stairs. ;)

Works with kids, too.

It's called Operant Conditioning and it works with any sentient creature

So sometimes, it doesn't work with teens! :lol:
 
what would it have meant to Lonza since his mother was never around. It has to do with shooters. thanks for the laugh

I think you'd be hard put to show that, had he been spanked at school, he wouldn't have stolen his moms guns, shot her, then gone and killed a bunch of kids.

I can remember when we used corporal punishment at school. It didn't do much good in my experience.
 
Parents Force Girl to Hold Sign as Punishment for Being Disrespectful. Tough Love or Too Much?

Worried about their 13-year-old daughter's increasingly disrespectful behavior, Gentry and Renee Nickell of Crestview, Florida, decided to make her punishment humiliating and public. On Saturday, the teen (whose name has not been released) spent 90 minutes standing at a busy intersection with a hand-written sign describing her sins.

It read: "I’m a self-entitled teenager w/no respect for authority. I’m also super smart, yet I have 3 'D’s' because I DON’T CARE."

Yahoo! Shine - Women's Lifestyle | Healthy Living and Fashion Blogs

Is it what I would do? No. Not every kid will listen though. Some kids may actually be defiant regardless of how good a parent you are. They actually have a disorder classification about that now.

What I take away from this is that the public needs to stay the hell out of parenting affairs. It isn't your job to discipline this girl. It isn't the governments job to dictate too much discipline (beyond physical abuse).
 
Parents Force Girl to Hold Sign as Punishment for Being Disrespectful. Tough Love or Too Much?

Worried about their 13-year-old daughter's increasingly disrespectful behavior, Gentry and Renee Nickell of Crestview, Florida, decided to make her punishment humiliating and public. On Saturday, the teen (whose name has not been released) spent 90 minutes standing at a busy intersection with a hand-written sign describing her sins.

It read: "I’m a self-entitled teenager w/no respect for authority. I’m also super smart, yet I have 3 'D’s' because I DON’T CARE."

Yahoo! Shine - Women's Lifestyle | Healthy Living and Fashion Blogs

the parents should be ashamed of themselves.

yes kids can be obnoxious, they can get totally out of control.

but this kid obviously had some issues which would not be helped by that kind of public humiliation.
 
I'm going to have to disagree there. First comes (agreeably) rage. Then comes exhaustion. Then comes humility.


None of us know this girl, none of us know these parents, none of us know what has or hasn't worked in raising this child, yet all of us seem to be willing to assume that we can operate as if we did have access to all these particulars... :shrug:


Personally, I plan on using public humiliation as a tool - just precisely as my parents did. When I hurt someone else or was cruel to them, I was forced to apologize and admit what I had done - in public. It was humiliating. Our culture teaches (and we are naturally inclined to) self-justification as a default position. It is far easier to just say "sorry" quickly, quietly, privately (which is a way of publicly pretending you didn't do the deed) or "sorry that you didn't like what I did" (which is a way of putting the blame on the other).

Associating doing wrong to another with publicly admitting it, however? That was a powerful incentive, and put me in the right position vis-a-vie my actions towards others.

apologizing if you have hurt someone or have been cruel IS NOT humiliation.
 
I'm going to have to disagree there. First comes (agreeably) rage. Then comes exhaustion. Then comes humility.


None of us know this girl, none of us know these parents, none of us know what has or hasn't worked in raising this child, yet all of us seem to be willing to assume that we can operate as if we did have access to all these particulars... :shrug:


Personally, I plan on using public humiliation as a tool - just precisely as my parents did. When I hurt someone else or was cruel to them, I was forced to apologize and admit what I had done - in public. It was humiliating. Our culture teaches (and we are naturally inclined to) self-justification as a default position. It is far easier to just say "sorry" quickly, quietly, privately (which is a way of publicly pretending you didn't do the deed) or "sorry that you didn't like what I did" (which is a way of putting the blame on the other).

Associating doing wrong to another with publicly admitting it, however? That was a powerful incentive, and put me in the right position vis-a-vie my actions towards others.

I can so agree. I cannot tell you how many college kids I met who truly needed a public ass kicking to teach them humility. I almost delivered one to a disrespectful drunken cur who would not show me disrespect. I settled for a quiet, "step away from me now or I will break your neck before the cops he here." It worked to shut him up...but I doubt he learned a lesson about being a drunken cur and disrespecting people.
 
At one time, I was a vice principal of a K-8 school.

Now, 8th. graders are not known for their tractability, necessarily. Some are, of course, but then, there are those other ones.

One was an 8th. grade boy who was constantly in trouble. He'd been suspended before, and had come back just as bad. The suspension for him was nothing but a vacation from school, until the last one. He was suspended for a week.

His dad took him to the fields that week, where he spent his time "chopping cotton", which really means using a hoe to cut weeds and thin crops.

When he came back, he was a changed lad.

Now, this was back in the '70s. Society was somewhat different back then.

Was this father too harsh?

No.

hard work doesn't do anyone any harm. in fact, he would have learnt a few things and come back having felt that he had achieved something.

standing on a corner with a sign around your neck doesn't achieve anything .
 
Humility comes from humiliation and how to cope with disappointment. Many school shootings are the result of kids that have never been taught to cope.

rubbish.

resentment comes from humiliation.
 
Parents Force Girl to Hold Sign as Punishment for Being Disrespectful. Tough Love or Too Much?

Worried about their 13-year-old daughter's increasingly disrespectful behavior, Gentry and Renee Nickell of Crestview, Florida, decided to make her punishment humiliating and public. On Saturday, the teen (whose name has not been released) spent 90 minutes standing at a busy intersection with a hand-written sign describing her sins.

It read: "I’m a self-entitled teenager w/no respect for authority. I’m also super smart, yet I have 3 'D’s' because I DON’T CARE."

Yahoo! Shine - Women's Lifestyle | Healthy Living and Fashion Blogs

No. I would've done the same. Let me put it this way...I grew up in a home where if I would've even thought about being disrespectful, I would've been picking my teeth up off the floor.

Sure teenagers are going to have moments of disrespectful behavior, However, it turns into a habit quickly. Better nip it in the butt before it's out of hand.

If a person does nothing...then don't be surprised when your children wind up being a teen parent, dropping out of high school or winding up in juvenile detention ... or worse.
 
I'm going to have to disagree there. First comes (agreeably) rage. Then comes exhaustion. Then comes humility.


None of us know this girl, none of us know these parents, none of us know what has or hasn't worked in raising this child, yet all of us seem to be willing to assume that we can operate as if we did have access to all these particulars... :shrug:


Personally, I plan on using public humiliation as a tool - just precisely as my parents did. When I hurt someone else or was cruel to them, I was forced to apologize and admit what I had done - in public. It was humiliating. Our culture teaches (and we are naturally inclined to) self-justification as a default position. It is far easier to just say "sorry" quickly, quietly, privately (which is a way of publicly pretending you didn't do the deed) or "sorry that you didn't like what I did" (which is a way of putting the blame on the other).

Associating doing wrong to another with publicly admitting it, however? That was a powerful incentive, and put me in the right position vis-a-vie my actions towards others.

If you were being a bully publicly, then it serves a reason to have you apologize publicly. But if a kid is having family problems, then the punishment stays within the family. What these parents did was a ridiculous way of disciplining a child. You teach your kids manners and rules out of love, not anger and cruelty. Humiliating someone in this way serves no good purpose but to damage the child and make an ass of yourself.
 
I don't think so. She humiliated her parents numerous times after being asked to stop through various forms of punishments and talks. I was one of those kids as well. I laughed at talks and standing in the corner. Humility comes from handling disappointment. Kids NEVER told a teacher to **** off or kiss their ass when I was in school, now teachers call that routine. Kids today think they are untouchable and can't be held accountable for anything and that is sad in itself.

You clearly do not know what humility is.

humility is nothing to do with humiliation OR handling disappointment.
 
If it had been the CEO of a company no one would have known about it. There was no reason for it to be made public except political reasons. It was just another GOP travesty that keeps happening. The Reps. have no other way to compete. Their policies are so unpopular that they stoop to the lowest possible levels to make political points instead of doing the right things for voters. It is not working though, they have failed to win the popular vote in 5 out of the last 6 Presidential contests.

So, you're saying you're okay with the CEO's behavior as long as you don't hear about it? And there IS another reason besides the political to have made the reveal - because such behavior is not what we want in the American workplace. It's the sort of thing that falls quickly into sexual harrassment which is banned behavior.

Again, you'd scream foul if some CEO were doing this. The POTUS you like however, gets a pass.
 
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