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Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

Did this teen get punished too harshly?

  • No

    Votes: 36 49.3%

  • Yes

    Votes: 12 16.4%

  • I would have looked at other options

    Votes: 20 27.4%

  • Counseling would have been best

    Votes: 5 6.8%
  • Total voters
    73
  • Poll closed .
Rocketman said:
My son totaled his truck when he was 16. No one was hurt thank God but he didn't think he should be punished. I put his little ass on the bus for 6 months and he not only never had another wreck but he never got a ticket or into much trouble. It was the best punishment I ever gave him.
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Having to ride the bus because of having wrecked your truck is just a natural consequence. If there is a consequence to the teen's actions, the best way to handle it is to let them accept that consequence and move forward.

There are two basic approaches to discipline: The "the stove is hot" approach, and the "don't touch the stove" approach. They may sound the same, but are quite different.

The stove is hot is a warning. If the child does not heed the warning, he burns his fingers and learns the natural consequence to his actions.

Don't touch the stove is a command. The child touches the stove, and is burned for disobedience.

You wrecked your truck, and now have to ride the bus is a consequence, not a punishment. It's the best way to handle problems and teach kids responsibility.

Public humiliation is probably the worst way to handle problems with teens.
 
Dittohead not! said:
Having to ride the bus because of having wrecked your truck is just a natural consequence. If there is a consequence to the teen's actions, the best way to handle it is to let them accept that consequence and move forward.

There are two basic approaches to discipline: The "the stove is hot" approach, and the "don't touch the stove" approach. They may sound the same, but are quite different.

The stove is hot is a warning. If the child does not heed the warning, he burns his fingers and learns the natural consequence to his actions.

Don't touch the stove is a command. The child touches the stove, and is burned for disobedience.

You wrecked your truck, and now have to ride the bus is a consequence, not a punishment. It's the best way to handle problems and teach kids responsibility.

Public humiliation is probably the worst way to handle problems with teens.
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it was very humiliating for him because I wouldn't let him ride with other kids either
 
Rocketman said:
Parents Force Girl to Hold Sign as Punishment for Being Disrespectful. Tough Love or Too Much?

Worried about their 13-year-old daughter's increasingly disrespectful behavior, Gentry and Renee Nickell of Crestview, Florida, decided to make her punishment humiliating and public. On Saturday, the teen (whose name has not been released) spent 90 minutes standing at a busy intersection with a hand-written sign describing her sins.

It read: "I’m a self-entitled teenager w/no respect for authority. I’m also super smart, yet I have 3 'D’s' because I DON’T CARE."

Yahoo! Shine - Women's Lifestyle | Healthy Living and Fashion Blogs
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A little humiliating, which could in turn create resentment more than repentance. BUT.... Spare the rod, spoil the child (still applies even though she wasn't physically punished).
 
Rocketman said:
Parents Force Girl to Hold Sign as Punishment for Being Disrespectful. Tough Love or Too Much?

Worried about their 13-year-old daughter's increasingly disrespectful behavior, Gentry and Renee Nickell of Crestview, Florida, decided to make her punishment humiliating and public. On Saturday, the teen (whose name has not been released) spent 90 minutes standing at a busy intersection with a hand-written sign describing her sins.

It read: "I’m a self-entitled teenager w/no respect for authority. I’m also super smart, yet I have 3 'D’s' because I DON’T CARE."

Yahoo! Shine - Women's Lifestyle | Healthy Living and Fashion Blogs
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Speaking from the viewpoint of a parent who did use tough love, with my son who was being a ****head at 17, this is nothing like actual tough love. Tough love would have been drawing a line in the sand, then when she crossed it, she has the choice of moving out on her own, and acting however she wishes, or acting like a respectable member of the household. Tough love is used when all other attempts and resources have failed. This sounds like a case of a sulky teenage girl who never learned how to act in a socially acceptable manner- something that should have been learned by the age of 6 yoa.
 
lizzie said:
This sounds like a case of a sulky teenage girl who never learned how to act in a socially acceptable manner...
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And rumors say her daughter's a real piece of work, too.
 
At one time, I was a vice principal of a K-8 school.

Now, 8th. graders are not known for their tractability, necessarily. Some are, of course, but then, there are those other ones.

One was an 8th. grade boy who was constantly in trouble. He'd been suspended before, and had come back just as bad. The suspension for him was nothing but a vacation from school, until the last one. He was suspended for a week.

His dad took him to the fields that week, where he spent his time "chopping cotton", which really means using a hoe to cut weeds and thin crops.

When he came back, he was a changed lad.

Now, this was back in the '70s. Society was somewhat different back then.

Was this father too harsh?
 
MaggieD said:
I think it's a sign of desperation. I don't like the idea of humiliating a child. It might depend on the child, of course, but if a parent has to resort to public humiliation? IMO, they failed a long time ago.
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I would like to agree with you, but I cannot. The pervasiveness of the Liberal denomination of the Cult of Marx in our schools is too high. Self-entitlement and entitlement mindset is a core of their indoctrination. They are taking a page from the drug dealers handbook and trying to hook them when their young. For those opposed to this kind of mindset, it is a constant battle between parents and schools now. I don't know if this kind of humiliation will be effective, but at least they are trying to teach her something.
 
Rocketman said:
Parents Force Girl to Hold Sign as Punishment for Being Disrespectful. Tough Love or Too Much?

Worried about their 13-year-old daughter's increasingly disrespectful behavior, Gentry and Renee Nickell of Crestview, Florida, decided to make her punishment humiliating and public. On Saturday, the teen (whose name has not been released) spent 90 minutes standing at a busy intersection with a hand-written sign describing her sins.

It read: "I’m a self-entitled teenager w/no respect for authority. I’m also super smart, yet I have 3 'D’s' because I DON’T CARE."

Yahoo! Shine - Women's Lifestyle | Healthy Living and Fashion Blogs
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I don't know how I feel about public humiliation tactics of discipline on a 13-year-old. I wonder if that could actually do more harm than good, considering how most teens that age are already self-conscious.

I actually think doing things like taking away their favorite things would be more effective. I think disciplining your child should probably remain a private and not a public affair.
 
Viktyr Gehrig said:
Not at all. A little hard work never hurt anyone.
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I agree.

I also wonder how that work therapy would be viewed in today's society. Forced child labor? OMG! It's like the sweatshops in China! and etc.

things have changed, and not necessarily for the better.
 
DVSentinel said:
I would like to agree with you, but I cannot. The pervasiveness of the Liberal denomination of the Cult of Marx in our schools is too high. Self-entitlement and entitlement mindset is a core of their indoctrination. They are taking a page from the drug dealers handbook and trying to hook them when their young. For those opposed to this kind of mindset, it is a constant battle between parents and schools now. I don't know if this kind of humiliation will be effective, but at least they are trying to teach her something.
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My point is that I don't believe public humiliation will be effective. They are far more effective ways to teach your child the importance of good study habits and acceptable grades. The sign she carried said, "I am a self-entitled teen...." Teens don't "self-entitle." Teens take advantage of the entitlements their parents provide. Mom said, "I wasn't even thinking about what the public would think," when asked about the apparent uproar that the punishment created in their town.

Everything besides shelter, food and a safe place is a privilege to a child. The TV in her room; her computer, her cell phone, her IPad, her IPod. Everything. Contingent upon what? Breathing? No. Good grades and acceptable behavior.

Where were these parents as she didn't do her homework? Got poor test scores throughout the grading period? Raising kids takes work. It's not something that can or should go on autopilot. That this smart girl was getting poor grades is a reflection of the values in her home. Children are very carefully nurtured to become exactly who they are. And it starts well before they're 13.
 
MaggieD said:
My point is that I don't believe public humiliation will be effective. They are far more effective ways to teach your child the importance of good study habits and acceptable grades. The sign she carried said, "I am a self-entitled teen...." Teens don't "self-entitle." Teens take advantage of the entitlements their parents provide. Mom said, "I wasn't even thinking about what the public would think," when asked about the apparent uproar that the punishment created in their town.

Everything besides shelter, food and a safe place is a privilege to a child. The TV in her room; her computer, her cell phone, her IPad, her IPod. Everything. Contingent upon what? Breathing? No. Good grades and acceptable behavior.

Where were these parents as she didn't do her homework? Got poor test scores throughout the grading period? Raising kids takes work. It's not something that can or should go on autopilot. That this smart girl was getting poor grades is a reflection of the values in her home. Children are very carefully nurtured to become exactly who they are. And it starts well before they're 13.
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Well, look at how behaved kids were in your generation as children when compared to my generation as children.

Know what the definition of insanity is? Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.

Looking at kids today, I'm willing to litmus test anything to see if it has results.
 
Gipper said:
Well, look at how behaved kids were in your generation as children when compared to my generation as children.

Know what the definition of insanity is? Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.

Looking at kids today, I'm willing to litmus test anything to see if it has results.
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I don't think beating or giving humiliating tasks to crappy kids is what straightens them out, it's just letting them know that their crappy behavior is not cool. What so many Americans have opted for as an alternative to Biblical day beatings is...nothing at all, and we've all seen the occasional whackjob new age theories that misbehaved kids are not only not bad, but enlightened and further advanced than other kids.

I say this not as a child behavioral specialist, but as someone who pays to go to a nice restaurant and is forced to watch kids acting like extras from the set of 28 Days and the parents are doing absolutely nothing.
 
Cardinal said:
I don't think beating or giving humiliating tasks to crappy kids is what straightens them out, it's just letting them know that their crappy behavior is not cool. What so many Americans have opted for as an alternative to Biblical day beatings is...nothing at all, and we've all seen the occasional whackjob new age theories that misbehaved kids are not only not bad, but enlightened and further advanced than other kids.

I say this not as a child behavioral specialist, but as someone who pays to go to a nice restaurant and is forced to watch kids acting like extras from the set of 28 Days and the parents are doing absolutely nothing.
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I still say "humiliation" is not an appropriate word for what she did. Humiliation would be forced to strip naked in public or have the people of Crestview throw rotten fruit at her. She held up a sign that put her in her place.

Are children really that sensitive? Maybe the right punishment for a kid who thinks she's the bees knees is to be taught a humble lesson.
 
I certainly don't think so, she should be thankful that her punishment wasn't a whole lot worse. I think a lot of teenagers today need a good metaphorical butt kicking, they are raised horribly, with no respect for anyone or anything, and expect to always have the latest and greatest material goods without ever having to do anything to earn it. It's no wonder our society is so screwed up.
 
Cephus said:
I certainly don't think so, she should be thankful that her punishment wasn't a whole lot worse. I think a lot of teenagers today need a good metaphorical butt kicking, they are raised horribly, with no respect for anyone or anything, and expect to always have the latest and greatest material goods without ever having to do anything to earn it. It's no wonder our society is so screwed up.
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When corporal punishment was in schools nation wide, school shootings were something that never made the news.
 
Rocketman said:
When corporal punishment was in schools nation wide, school shootings were something that never made the news.
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Very true. I grew up in schools where the principal could take a misbehaving student and paddle their backside and you didn't see it very often. Liberalism has ruined this country.
 
Cephus said:
Very true. I grew up in schools where the principal could take a misbehaving student and paddle their backside and you didn't see it very often. Liberalism has ruined this country.
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I agree, my stepmother loved teaching until she was afraid of liberal parents and had to deal with their hateful kids that could not be controlled. She retired after 27 years instead of 30. She was actually bitten once.
 
Rocketman said:
When corporal punishment was in schools nation wide, school shootings were something that never made the news.
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Is there a cause and effect relationship between those two issues, or could both be due to changes within society?

It's hard to see how a corporal punishment policy at Sandy Hook Elementary could have prevented the school shooting there.
 
Rocketman said:
I agree, my stepmother loved teaching until she was afraid of liberal parents and had to deal with their hateful kids that could not be controlled. She retired after 27 years instead of 30. She was actually bitten once.
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My mother-in-law was a teacher for 35 years, she spent the last 15 working with special needs kids because they were easier to handle than regular school kids. Kids today are not raised well, they have no discipline, they have no respect and the second you try to teach them any, their idiot liberal parents come screaming that there's nothing wrong with their little monsters.
 
Cephus said:
My mother-in-law was a teacher for 35 years, she spent the last 15 working with special needs kids because they were easier to handle than regular school kids. Kids today are not raised well, they have no discipline, they have no respect and the second you try to teach them any, their idiot liberal parents come screaming that there's nothing wrong with their little monsters.
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That sort of thing happens all too often now.

"My child says that he didn't do it, and he never lies, so you must be wrong."
"Why are you picking on my child?"

and the all time favorite: "Well, boys will be boys!"

to which the obvious response is, "Yes, they will be boys all t heir lives unless someone teaches them to be men."
 
This is not, by a long shot, the first time I've seen this disciplinary tactic reported on in the news. It is, however, the first time I've seen it criticized. Google, "sign on corner, punishment" to see plenty of examples.
 
Cephus said:
I certainly don't think so, she should be thankful that her punishment wasn't a whole lot worse. I think a lot of teenagers today need a good metaphorical butt kicking, they are raised horribly, with no respect for anyone or anything, and expect to always have the latest and greatest material goods without ever having to do anything to earn it. It's no wonder our society is so screwed up.
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Look at Clinton's behavior. Look at the last vote. Gee, I wonder where kids are learning this from? Can a Parent actually offset so many examples given to our children by the public? Can they compete, realistically with peers and natural selfishness and greed when society now has almost made a religion of it?
 
You draw more flies with honey...
I bet this will backfire miserably.
 
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