View Poll Results: Did this teen get punished too harshly?

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  • No

    49 50.00%
  • Yes

    20 20.41%
  • I would have looked at other options

    22 22.45%
  • Counseling would have been best

    7 7.14%
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Thread: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

  1. #161
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by marywollstonecraft View Post
    You know what?

    you don't actually know anything about Adam Lonza apart from what you read in the media ... but in fact it does raise an interesting point. I have read a number of articles which refer to the fact that a mass killer had been a victim of bullying - and with it - humiliation

    That isn't to say that every victim of bullying and humiliation will become a crazed killer, but many fantasize about getting back at their tormentors - or those they perceive to be their tormentors.

    the simple fact is that humiliation does not make you a better person, it does not build your resilience, and it can be extremely damaging.

    Most of us experience it at some point of our lives, but we get angry, and move on. often, one of the ways we move on is by recognizing that those people aren't really important in our lives.

    but if the person who publicly and deliberately humiliates us is a parent?

    It may not be so easy to get over it.

    I know parenting isn't easy, and as a grandmother I am seeing the next generation starting to recognize that, but we need to think about the way we discipline our children, and what the impact is. emotional abuse is not discipline.

    I have seen enough kids who have been the victims of parents who use emotional abuse as a way to tick a box and say they have dealt with a problem to know that it can be extremely damaging. It isn't always, but quite frankly, anyone who values their relationship with their children., and wants to have a worthwhile relationship with them when they eventually grow up (and even the most difficult teenager eventually does in most cases), would not consider this treatment of a thirteen year old as an option.
    I would have used this tactic without question if everything else had failed. I raised my kids this way and all are respectful adults with great jobs and families. We are all very close.

    I am on my second marriage and my current wife raised her three believing as you do. One of them is already dead because of emotional issues he could not deal with and her two daughters treat her like **** and do not respect her. She has spent her life savings trying to please these kids now adults. So from personal experience I will support what these parents did.

  2. #162
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocketman View Post
    Your post tells us much about how you were raised
    Yeah.

    It tells you I was raised by parents who were not idiotic, control freaks like these useless dopes.

    Deliberately embarrassing your child in public will probably result in one of two things:

    - the child will be shamed into submission, but will quietly resent what their parents did and have that resentment fester for a few years until it comes out when everyone least expects it.

    - or the child will submit by force but will lose a TON of respect for these idiots and the next time the parents want to browbeat their child into submission - the child will tell them 'no', walk away and never trust them again...rightly so.

    This isn't tough love.

    This is 'I can't beat my kids anymore, so I will do this instead.'

    Sickos.
    Last edited by DA60; 04-03-13 at 01:44 PM.

  3. #163
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by DA60 View Post
    Yeah...you think you are all very close. maybe you are, maybe you are not.

    I have seen a TON of families whose parents thought they were SO CLOSE to their kids...and yet everyone else knew that clearly they were not and the parents were just deluding themselves OR the children were just humouring the parents and giving them lip service.

    Parental denial is incredibly common.

    So you saying you are close to your kids means nothing to me.

    If you treated your kids like these knuckleheads in the OP did...there is NO WAY you are close to your kids UNLESS they are as 'f'ed up as their parents.
    He has an odd definition of "close". He says that her kids treat their mother "like **** and do not respect her"

    I wouldn't call that "close" either
    Quote Originally Posted by matchlight View Post
    Justice Thomas' opinions consistently contain precise, detailed constitutional analyses.
    Quote Originally Posted by jaeger19 View Post
    the vast majority of folks that need healthcare are on Medicare.. both rich and poor..

  4. #164
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by sangha View Post
    He has an odd definition of "close". He says that her kids treat their mother "like **** and do not respect her"

    I wouldn't call that "close" either
    Agreed.

  5. #165
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by DA60 View Post
    Yeah.

    It tells you I was raised by parents who were not idiotic, control freaks like these useless dopes.

    Deliberately embarrassing your child in public will probably result in one of two things:

    - the child will be shamed into submission, but will quietly resent what their parents did and have that resentment fester for a few years until it comes out when everyone least expects it.

    - or the child will submit by force but will lose a TON of respect for these idiots and the next time the parents want to browbeat their child into submission - the child will tell them 'no', walk away and never trust them again...rightly so.

    This isn't tough love.

    This is 'I can't beat my kids anymore, so I will do this instead.'

    Sickos.
    People with your thinking is why good teachers are so hard to find

  6. #166
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocketman View Post
    People with your thinking is why good teachers are so hard to find
    There is nothing easy about teaching children who have been taught that they are worthless.
    "Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud... [he's] playing the American public for suckers." Mitt Romney

  7. #167
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocketman View Post
    People with your thinking is why good teachers are so hard to find
    People with your thinking is why poor students are so easy to find
    Quote Originally Posted by matchlight View Post
    Justice Thomas' opinions consistently contain precise, detailed constitutional analyses.
    Quote Originally Posted by jaeger19 View Post
    the vast majority of folks that need healthcare are on Medicare.. both rich and poor..

  8. #168
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dittohead not! View Post
    There is nothing easy about teaching children who have been taught that they are worthless.
    It is much easier than teaching brats that think there is no consequences for their actions and they can't be disciplined

  9. #169
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by sangha View Post
    People with your thinking is why poor students are so easy to find
    Actually your thinking, my wife's kids are horrible, one dead, she agrees with you. Mine are successful with happy families.

  10. #170
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocketman View Post
    Actually your thinking, my wife's kids are horrible, one dead, she agrees with you. Mine are successful with happy families.
    The evidence suggests otherwise
    Quote Originally Posted by matchlight View Post
    Justice Thomas' opinions consistently contain precise, detailed constitutional analyses.
    Quote Originally Posted by jaeger19 View Post
    the vast majority of folks that need healthcare are on Medicare.. both rich and poor..

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