View Poll Results: Did this teen get punished too harshly?

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  • No

    49 50.00%
  • Yes

    20 20.41%
  • I would have looked at other options

    22 22.45%
  • Counseling would have been best

    7 7.14%
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Thread: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

  1. #151
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocketman View Post
    it was some news program after the shooting of a taped interview where Lonza's mother discussed her son's asberger disease and behavior
    Yeah, right!

    I believe you. I really do!
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by sangha View Post
    Yeah, right!

    I believe you. I really do!
    Much like the constant bull**** you post here, we understand each other perfectly

  3. #153
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Anyone who answered 'no' is a crappy parent...or will be.

    What those parents did is borderline illegal in my opinion.

    And way over the border of being emotionally disturbed.

    Dickheads.
    Last edited by DA60; 04-02-13 at 05:27 PM.

  4. #154
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Viktyr Gehrig View Post
    I do not believe that you can teach a child respect by showing her disrespect.
    I second this.

  5. #155
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by MaggieD View Post
    My point is that I don't believe public humiliation will be effective. They are far more effective ways to teach your child the importance of good study habits and acceptable grades. The sign she carried said, "I am a self-entitled teen...." Teens don't "self-entitle." Teens take advantage of the entitlements their parents provide. Mom said, "I wasn't even thinking about what the public would think," when asked about the apparent uproar that the punishment created in their town.

    Everything besides shelter, food and a safe place is a privilege to a child. The TV in her room; her computer, her cell phone, her IPad, her IPod. Everything. Contingent upon what? Breathing? No. Good grades and acceptable behavior.

    Where were these parents as she didn't do her homework? Got poor test scores throughout the grading period? Raising kids takes work. It's not something that can or should go on autopilot. That this smart girl was getting poor grades is a reflection of the values in her home. Children are very carefully nurtured to become exactly who they are. And it starts well before they're 13.
    Keep in mind, this behavior was most likely in response to her uncle's death, not a bad upbringing. Maybe Mom was having a hard time coping with her brother's death, as well, and didn't see the effect the death (and maybe her reaction, too) was having on the kids. Maybe they just didn't know how to respond to it or deal with it. I don't think this was a case where the daughter had been a holy terror all her life, just a depressed and grieving teenager who didn't seem to have enough support to cope or she wouldn't have been screaming for help in so many different ways.
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  6. #156
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    i dont think the punishment was acceptable in any way. Althoguh i do believe parents need to straighten up their kids and put the foot down

  7. #157
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by marywollstonecraft View Post
    You know what?

    you don't actually know anything about Adam Lonza apart from what you read in the media ... but in fact it does raise an interesting point. I have read a number of articles which refer to the fact that a mass killer had been a victim of bullying - and with it - humiliation

    That isn't to say that every victim of bullying and humiliation will become a crazed killer, but many fantasize about getting back at their tormentors - or those they perceive to be their tormentors.

    the simple fact is that humiliation does not make you a better person, it does not build your resilience, and it can be extremely damaging.

    Most of us experience it at some point of our lives, but we get angry, and move on. often, one of the ways we move on is by recognizing that those people aren't really important in our lives.

    but if the person who publicly and deliberately humiliates us is a parent?

    It may not be so easy to get over it.

    I know parenting isn't easy, and as a grandmother I am seeing the next generation starting to recognize that, but we need to think about the way we discipline our children, and what the impact is. emotional abuse is not discipline.

    I have seen enough kids who have been the victims of parents who use emotional abuse as a way to tick a box and say they have dealt with a problem to know that it can be extremely damaging. It isn't always, but quite frankly, anyone who values their relationship with their children., and wants to have a worthwhile relationship with them when they eventually grow up (and even the most difficult teenager eventually does in most cases), would not consider this treatment of a thirteen year old as an option.
    My daughter, who is now a mother of three, once told us she didn't realize how stupid she had been and how badly she had misjudged us until she was a parent, herself.
    Mt. Rushmore: Three surveyors and some other guy.
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  8. #158
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by MoSurveyor View Post
    My daughter, who is now a mother of three, once told us she didn't realize how stupid she had been and how badly she had misjudged us until she was a parent, herself.
    Lols ...

    be honest Mo - I bet you can remember not being perfect too ... I know I can!

    That's probably one of the reasons why I knew the time would come when the next generation would say the exact same thing your daughter said!
    Every political good carried to the extreme must be productive of evil.

  9. #159
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by marywollstonecraft View Post
    Lols ...

    be honest Mo - I bet you can remember not being perfect too ... I know I can!

    That's probably one of the reasons why I knew the time would come when the next generation would say the exact same thing your daughter said!
    LOL! I'm still not perfect and I'll gladly admit it. When people quit making mistakes (or, at least, think they're not making mistakes) they're not learning anything - or they're dead. I don't like either option.
    Mt. Rushmore: Three surveyors and some other guy.
    Life goes on within you and without you. -Harrison
    Hear the echoes of the centuries, Power isn't all that money buys. -Peart
    After you learn quantum mechanics you're never really the same again. -Weinberg

  10. #160
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by DA60 View Post
    Anyone who answered 'no' is a crappy parent...or will be.

    What those parents did is borderline illegal in my opinion.

    And way over the border of being emotionally disturbed.

    Dickheads.
    Your post tells us much about how you were raised

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