View Poll Results: Did this teen get punished too harshly?

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  • No

    49 50.00%
  • Yes

    20 20.41%
  • I would have looked at other options

    22 22.45%
  • Counseling would have been best

    7 7.14%
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Thread: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

  1. #131
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by marywollstonecraft View Post
    That is simply untrue.

    Humiliation does not build resilience (an ability to cope with stress and adversity). especially among teenagers.

    to claim otherwise is ignorance.
    The hell it doesn't. Adam Lonza was shielded it from it and we see how that turned out.

  2. #132
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    in fact ,they should punish themselves!
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  3. #133
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocketman View Post
    The hell it doesn't. Adam Lonza was shielded it from it and we see how that turned out.
    You know what?

    you don't actually know anything about Adam Lonza apart from what you read in the media ... but in fact it does raise an interesting point. I have read a number of articles which refer to the fact that a mass killer had been a victim of bullying - and with it - humiliation

    That isn't to say that every victim of bullying and humiliation will become a crazed killer, but many fantasize about getting back at their tormentors - or those they perceive to be their tormentors.

    the simple fact is that humiliation does not make you a better person, it does not build your resilience, and it can be extremely damaging.

    Most of us experience it at some point of our lives, but we get angry, and move on. often, one of the ways we move on is by recognizing that those people aren't really important in our lives.

    but if the person who publicly and deliberately humiliates us is a parent?

    It may not be so easy to get over it.

    I know parenting isn't easy, and as a grandmother I am seeing the next generation starting to recognize that, but we need to think about the way we discipline our children, and what the impact is. emotional abuse is not discipline.

    I have seen enough kids who have been the victims of parents who use emotional abuse as a way to tick a box and say they have dealt with a problem to know that it can be extremely damaging. It isn't always, but quite frankly, anyone who values their relationship with their children., and wants to have a worthwhile relationship with them when they eventually grow up (and even the most difficult teenager eventually does in most cases), would not consider this treatment of a thirteen year old as an option.
    Every political good carried to the extreme must be productive of evil.

  4. #134
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by marywollstonecraft View Post
    You know what?

    you don't actually know anything about Adam Lonza apart from what you read in the media ... but in fact it does raise an interesting point. I have read a number of articles which refer to the fact that a mass killer had been a victim of bullying - and with it - humiliation

    That isn't to say that every victim of bullying and humiliation will become a crazed killer, but many fantasize about getting back at their tormentors - or those they perceive to be their tormentors.

    the simple fact is that humiliation does not make you a better person, it does not build your resilience, and it can be extremely damaging.

    Most of us experience it at some point of our lives, but we get angry, and move on. often, one of the ways we move on is by recognizing that those people aren't really important in our lives.

    but if the person who publicly and deliberately humiliates us is a parent?

    It may not be so easy to get over it.

    I know parenting isn't easy, and as a grandmother I am seeing the next generation starting to recognize that, but we need to think about the way we discipline our children, and what the impact is. emotional abuse is not discipline.

    I have seen enough kids who have been the victims of parents who use emotional abuse as a way to tick a box and say they have dealt with a problem to know that it can be extremely damaging. It isn't always, but quite frankly, anyone who values their relationship with their children., and wants to have a worthwhile relationship with them when they eventually grow up (and even the most difficult teenager eventually does in most cases), would not consider this treatment of a thirteen year old as an option.

    You must have missed the interview with his mother where she stated that she went against advice to get this boy help because he was such and angel and did not need the medical attention people were reccomending. She did not want him to have to face his issues so instead she and those kids had too. Lousy ass parenting caused this tragedy just like the shooting in Columbine.

  5. #135
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocketman View Post
    You must have missed the interview with his mother where she stated that she went against advice to get this boy help because he was such and angel and did not need the medical attention people were reccomending. She did not want him to have to face his issues so instead she and those kids had too. Lousy ass parenting caused this tragedy just like the shooting in Columbine.
    I did miss that interview ...do you have a link? I couldn't find it when I searched, but would be really interested to read it, so maybe you could help me out.
    Every political good carried to the extreme must be productive of evil.

  6. #136
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by marywollstonecraft View Post
    I did miss that interview ...do you have a link? I couldn't find it when I searched, but would be really interested to read it, so maybe you could help me out.
    Yes, I seem to have missed that interview as well. I wonder if she was interviewed before the shooting incident, when no one had heard of her, or if it was after, via seance or something.
    "Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud... [he's] playing the American public for suckers." Mitt Romney

  7. #137
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dittohead not! View Post
    Yes, I seem to have missed that interview as well. I wonder if she was interviewed before the shooting incident, when no one had heard of her, or if it was after, via seance or something.
    I was wondering the same thing ... but I figured in the US, what with public confessionals on television and all, child psychologists might videotape interviews with parents just in case a situation - like a mass shooting - arises where they need to cover their arses.
    Every political good carried to the extreme must be productive of evil.

  8. #138
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Hell no the punishment wasn't too harsh. Good lord, it's the parents that whine about this sort of thing that generally are responsible for raising the current crop of worthless losers in society.
    "nah i think the way cons want to turn this into a political issue is funny though" - Philly Boss

  9. #139
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by marywollstonecraft View Post
    I did miss that interview ...do you have a link? I couldn't find it when I searched, but would be really interested to read it, so maybe you could help me out.
    I looked a little but did not see it anywhere, it came out about 3 weeks to the day of the shooting

  10. #140
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocketman View Post
    I looked a little but did not see it anywhere, it came out about 3 weeks to the day of the shooting
    why was she interviewed prior to the shooting?

    it seems prescient.
    Every political good carried to the extreme must be productive of evil.

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