View Poll Results: Did this teen get punished too harshly?

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  • No

    49 50.00%
  • Yes

    20 20.41%
  • I would have looked at other options

    22 22.45%
  • Counseling would have been best

    7 7.14%
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Thread: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

  1. #121
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocketman View Post
    Parents Force Girl to Hold Sign as Punishment for Being Disrespectful. Tough Love or Too Much?

    Worried about their 13-year-old daughter's increasingly disrespectful behavior, Gentry and Renee Nickell of Crestview, Florida, decided to make her punishment humiliating and public. On Saturday, the teen (whose name has not been released) spent 90 minutes standing at a busy intersection with a hand-written sign describing her sins.

    It read: "I’m a self-entitled teenager w/no respect for authority. I’m also super smart, yet I have 3 'D’s' because I DON’T CARE."

    Yahoo! Shine - Women's Lifestyle | Healthy Living and Fashion Blogs
    Oh no - a kid stood around holding a sign. Must be some form of abuse It's creative and if anything - that's how you have to be with kids when you're trying to get them to understand ****.

    This IS the other option for when the routine approaches to punish don't work.

    Counseling? What the hell for - to talk about everything. "I don't care, I'm a moody ****er - so let me mope in a room and talk about my moody ****er feelings." Yeah - my parents did that to me . . . it was pointless. A waste of their money.
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    It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now.
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  2. #122
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by radcen View Post
    This... I don't disagree with. Sometimes the parents are the twits. No doubt. And the kids will figure that out.

    I have an issue with the whole "respect must be earned" thing in a general sense. In the case of kids, they don't have the discerning ability when young, so it's an unrealistic expectation... but they'll figure it out.

    In a general sense, in my observations, people who say other people must earn their respect are really people who respect no one and just want a noble-sounding license to be their usual boorish selves.
    There is a saying, attributed to Oscar Wilde, which goes something like this -

    Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.
    I think, in the general sense, it is accurate. Children start off by loving their parents unconditionally - respect does not come into it. They are weak and vulnerable creatures who depend upon mummy and daddy for their every need - as much psychologically as physically. They will give this unconditional love even in the face of mistreatment - sometimes for the length of their childhood and adolescence. Again - respect as we understand the term, does not feature in this emotional attachment. I loved my mother long before I respected her, and when that respect developed, it was because I understood the things she had done for me, and the sacrifices she had made on my behalf - not simply because she was my biological parent. And even now, I would not show her disrespect, but I do not agree with all her views. So I would disagree with your premise that respect is a due, and does not need to be earned, but I agree that there are sometimes boorish people who justify their behaviour with the 'respect must be earned' excuse.

    My own approach being that everyone should be treated with a modicum of respect, until I know them sufficiently to either increase that to complete respect, or to withdraw that respect. Added to which are the layers of societal convention, common courtesy, and consideration for a fellow being - especially if they are elderly, or infirm.
    I hate the idea of causes, and if I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country. E.M. Forster

  3. #123
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    I would have gotten the belt at her age for those things. If I had had the choice of that or holding up that same sign, I would have chosen the latter, no question. So, no, I don't think they were too harsh.

  4. #124
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Leo View Post
    There is a saying, attributed to Oscar Wilde, which goes something like this -



    I think, in the general sense, it is accurate. Children start off by loving their parents unconditionally - respect does not come into it. They are weak and vulnerable creatures who depend upon mummy and daddy for their every need - as much psychologically as physically. They will give this unconditional love even in the face of mistreatment - sometimes for the length of their childhood and adolescence. Again - respect as we understand the term, does not feature in this emotional attachment. I loved my mother long before I respected her, and when that respect developed, it was because I understood the things she had done for me, and the sacrifices she had made on my behalf - not simply because she was my biological parent. And even now, I would not show her disrespect, but I do not agree with all her views. So I would disagree with your premise that respect is a due, and does not need to be earned, but I agree that there are sometimes boorish people who justify their behaviour with the 'respect must be earned' excuse.

    My own approach being that everyone should be treated with a modicum of respect, until I know them sufficiently to either increase that to complete respect, or to withdraw that respect. Added to which are the layers of societal convention, common courtesy, and consideration for a fellow being - especially if they are elderly, or infirm.
    Leo, you are such a wise young man.
    Every political good carried to the extreme must be productive of evil.

  5. #125
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by radcen View Post
    100% incorrect. One does deserve respect from their own kid simply by being a parent. The kid knows nothing of the world, the parent does. The whole "respect must be earned" viewpoint, with kids and in general, is a huge reason why society is so fractured anymore. People use that as an excuse to be twits.

    Said respect can be lost, however.
    this is simply not true. at all.

    parenthood only relies on the ability to reproduce. nothing else.
    Every political good carried to the extreme must be productive of evil.

  6. #126
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by radcen View Post
    This... I don't disagree with. Sometimes the parents are the twits. No doubt. And the kids will figure that out.

    I have an issue with the whole "respect must be earned" thing in a general sense. In the case of kids, they don't have the discerning ability when young, so it's an unrealistic expectation... but they'll figure it out.

    In a general sense, in my observations, people who say other people must earn their respect are really people who respect no one and just want a noble-sounding license to be their usual boorish selves.
    couldn't agree more
    Every political good carried to the extreme must be productive of evil.

  7. #127
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rocketman View Post
    Humiliation and disappointment are great teachers of what life really is. It is easy to spot kids that were shielded from it. They can handle life.
    That is simply untrue.

    Humiliation does not build resilience (an ability to cope with stress and adversity). especially among teenagers.

    to claim otherwise is ignorance.
    Every political good carried to the extreme must be productive of evil.

  8. #128
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Leo View Post
    There is a saying, attributed to Oscar Wilde, which goes something like this -

    I think, in the general sense, it is accurate. Children start off by loving their parents unconditionally - respect does not come into it. They are weak and vulnerable creatures who depend upon mummy and daddy for their every need - as much psychologically as physically. They will give this unconditional love even in the face of mistreatment - sometimes for the length of their childhood and adolescence. Again - respect as we understand the term, does not feature in this emotional attachment. I loved my mother long before I respected her, and when that respect developed, it was because I understood the things she had done for me, and the sacrifices she had made on my behalf - not simply because she was my biological parent. And even now, I would not show her disrespect, but I do not agree with all her views. So I would disagree with your premise that respect is a due, and does not need to be earned, but I agree that there are sometimes boorish people who justify their behaviour with the 'respect must be earned' excuse.

    My own approach being that everyone should be treated with a modicum of respect, until I know them sufficiently to either increase that to complete respect, or to withdraw that respect. Added to which are the layers of societal convention, common courtesy, and consideration for a fellow being - especially if they are elderly, or infirm.
    Good post. I'm going to agree and disagree. Young children do (usually) start off with an unconditional love of their parents, but a certain amount of respect is wrapped up in that, at least in a form that they are able to do at that age. Maybe respect isn't the right word, though. At that age, maybe a certain "reverence" would be a better term as a form of unconscious respect. At we get older we can separate the two, but at younger ages that kind of nuance isn't yet established.
    If you claim sexual harassment to be wrong, yet you defend anyone on your side for any reason,
    then you are a hypocrite and everything you say on the matter is just babble.

  9. #129
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by radcen View Post
    Good post. I'm going to agree and disagree. Young children do (usually) start off with an unconditional love of their parents, but a certain amount of respect is wrapped up in that, at least in a form that they are able to do at that age. Maybe respect isn't the right word, though. At that age, maybe a certain "reverence" would be a better term as a form of unconscious respect. At we get older we can separate the two, but at younger ages that kind of nuance isn't yet established.
    Equally good post. I totally agree, and your choice of the word 'reverence' is Brillo Pads - I wish I had thought to use it.

    I like it when people who are ostensibly opposed in their views can form common ground. That should be the purpose of discussion boards such as this.
    I hate the idea of causes, and if I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country. E.M. Forster

  10. #130
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    Re: Were these parents too harsh on their daughter?

    Quote Originally Posted by marywollstonecraft View Post
    Leo, you are such a wise young man.
    Thanks, that is the bestest compliment anyone has ever given me.
    I hate the idea of causes, and if I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country. E.M. Forster

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