I would tell her and risk divorce
I would not tell her and risk her life
Doesn't apply to me. I've never cheated on her.
The poll comment is very slanted. As always, the OPer tries to stack the question with some obscure moral issue injection. The "cervical cancer" oddball consideration injection is just the OP trying to slant the poll with it.
I would not "cheat," but also believe a person should not tell - and rather should just stop and bear all the guilt him/herself privately rather than burdening the other person with it. If the person is continuing to "cheat?" And that violated the relationship/marriage rules? Then do the decent thing and divorce or end the relationship because the marriage/relationship is an ongoing lie. End the lies, the games and do no more harm than can be avoided. Just "I don't love you anymore and am divorcing/leaving you" is sufficient. Leave it at that.
The only exception would be if the cheater learned he/she had contracted an STD and then must tell. Otherwise, don't create pain and hurt just to do so to relieve your conscious by running your mouth.
Ole Hank said it best.
I don't cheat so it's not a concern, but if I did, certainly her health and wellbeing is more important than a marriage and I would absolutely tell her.
Well, now that we know that every person that responds to this thread is not, nor ever has been a cheater, can we assume the ones that have not responded are the cheaters?
This is an interesting moral dilemma. I am not married so all I can do is enjoy the squirming going on.
My thought is, a man willing to disrespect his wife with cheating is ripe for continuing with it even at risk to her health. Seems to me, such a man is selfish and uncaring and that is likely to go beyond the sexual infidelity.
How did you think the ladies could keep out of this conversation with so much at stake for them. Women can hardly but out when they don't have anything at stake.
In 40 years I've never cheated, I don't know what I would have done if I did. I think if you really love your spouse, you should keep your mouth shut. Besides seriously wounding your marriage, your spouse may just inform you he/she did the same.
I'd tell. She's my best friend and I wouldn't want to hurt her - but I did that as soon as I went to bed with someone else. It has nothing to do with guilt, it has to do with honesty and a close relationship.
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