View Poll Results: Would you tell your wife you cheated on her

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  • I would tell her and risk divorce

    24 77.42%
  • I would not tell her and risk her life

    7 22.58%
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Thread: For men only

  1. #11
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    Re: For men only

    I answered before I read the OP. I don't cheat either, never have, and don't plan on it. But if I ever did, I would take it to my grave.

    However, with the caveat that her life could be in danger, I would either say something, or find some clever way to make her safe without giving myself away.
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  2. #12
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    Re: For men only

    Quote Originally Posted by sawyerloggingon View Post
    That's exactly what my wife said.
    A very wise woman.
    “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists to adapt the world to himself.
    Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” ― George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman

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    Re: For men only

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    Hmm - interesting (I'll avoid the poll since I'm not a dude but opinion will still be given - hereby declaring my femininity) . . . this is interesting because I know a lot of women who have one once a year anyway as is the long-given advice . . . or none at all. It's really a personal choice.

    I don't ever intend on having a pap ever again - a million while you're pregnant, I think I'm good.

    That being said - such things can lay dormant for countless years - it doesn't mean that your spouse has cheated if you have something after 15 years of marriage . . . it just means that at some point you maybe contracted one of the many viruses that can lead to cysts, pollups, abnormal growths - etc. Not even that - some things they are looking for are entirely not of the contracted variety. Some things have unknown causes and origins...etc. They are looking for abnormalities - not traces of viral-only infections. The majority of such abnormalities are believed to be viral but not all are.

    Women need to know that testing positive for something does not mean that your husband actually cheated on you.
    Interesting but I'm just focusing on what my wifes doc said here. Apparently this is a new way of thinking in the med world and more and more docs will be sending women home with this advice.

  4. #14
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    Re: For men only

    Quote Originally Posted by sawyerloggingon View Post
    My wife had her annual physical yesterday and said if her test come back clean she won't need another (guess I have to say it) pap smear for 5 years. They now test for some virus and if you don't have it and have been married 10 years you are very low risk for cervical cancer. My response was the woman knows if she has been with another man in the last 10 years but she can't know for sure if her husband has been with anyone else. The doctors are setting up a big decision here for a man that has cheated on his wife when she comes home and tells him about her 5 year grace period. Tell her you have cheated may get you a divorce,don't tell her and you may be giving her cancer.What would or even will you do when this happens to you?
    HPV (assuming this is what you're referring to) is very common, and doesn't necessarily always mean that one of you has been cheating. Some women have it for years, and have no symptoms, and it's not only sexually spread.
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    Re: For men only

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie View Post
    HPV (assuming this is what you're referring to) is very common, and doesn't necessarily always mean that one of you has been cheating. Some women have it for years, and have no symptoms, and it's not only sexually spread.
    I guess the point is if you don't have it and have had a monogamous relationship for 10 years your chances of getting it are extremely slim. One thing I am learning here though, if you want women to respond start a post that says "for men only".

  6. #16
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    Re: For men only

    Quote Originally Posted by sawyerloggingon View Post
    I guess the point is if you don't have it and have had a monogamous relationship for 10 years your chances of getting it are extremely slim. One thing I am learning here though, if you want women to respond start a post that says "for men only".
    Well, when information is lacking, I figure you may need to know, rather than just assuming that HPV always means that cheating has occured.
    "God is the name by which I designate all things which cross my path violently and recklessly, all things which alter my plans and intentions, and change the course of my life, for better or for worse."
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  7. #17
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    Re: For men only

    If you cheat and you are married you are obligated to tell your spouse, they have every right to know.
    When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. -Socrates
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  8. #18
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    Re: For men only

    I wear my heart on my sleeve, as they say. I really don't think I could keep it a secret (cheating that is) as that's the fundamental NO, NO in a marriage, for me.

    Paul
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  9. #19
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    Re: For men only

    Quote Originally Posted by sawyerloggingon View Post
    Interesting but I'm just focusing on what my wifes doc said here. Apparently this is a new way of thinking in the med world and more and more docs will be sending women home with this advice.
    Pap and HPV Testing - National Cancer Institute

    Well - most women are still advised to go once a year (hence - the yearly exam) . . . but here it advises to be tested every 3 years (unless you have certain risk factors).

    So that alone is a difference of 3 years - that makes me wonder if that advice was given purely for your wife based on her history and lack of other issues. Or if it's advice in general. Other sources I went to for their suggestions still hover around 1-3 years. My mom goes once a year even at the age of 57 because she had cancer in the past. I don't go at all because I apparently don't care.

    I also wonder if any of that is related to newly passed healthcare guidelines - I know they changed their suggestion for breast cancer screening.
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    Re: For men only

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    Pap and HPV Testing - National Cancer Institute

    Well - most women are still advised to go once a year (hence - the yearly exam) . . . but here it advises to be tested every 3 years (unless you have certain risk factors).

    So that alone is a difference of 3 years - that makes me wonder if that advice was given purely for your wife based on her history and lack of other issues. Or if it's advice in general. Other sources I went to for their suggestions still hover around 1-3 years. My mom goes once a year even at the age of 57 because she had cancer in the past. I don't go at all because I apparently don't care.

    I also wonder if any of that is related to newly passed healthcare guidelines - I know they changed their suggestion for breast cancer screening.


    I was wondering that myself.

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