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Disrespect; a society norm or is it a huge problem?

Is this a societal norm or a problem?


  • Total voters
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You have a point... what constitutes "foul language" and what is acceptible is defined by society, and the definitions are kinda arbitrary.

For instance, "crap" and **** mean the same thing... but people will say the former and castigate you for using the latter expression ten seconds later. In a way it makes no sense.

OTOH it is a lowest-common denominator thing, and a lowering of the bar. Once upon a time, if you wanted to shock someone, exhibit extreme emphasis, or make it clear you were getting really angry, you could throw the word "damn" into your sentence and get people's attention. "Damn" eventually became so common that a new word was needed if one wished to accomplish the same thing, so people started throwing the F-bomb around... and now THAT has gotten so common that not many bat an eye anymore, so to get people's attention you have to go to EXTREMES with combinational foul language... and you hear things like "go such a syphillitic donkey dick and die, you ********ing bitch" being said between 17yo girls in public places.

Just how low and how crude are we going to go?

Also, the way one thinks and the words one uses are related, and feed into how one acts. Are there long-term psychological and social effects involved in being so crude and offensive?

Kinda worries me.


Of course, things often tend to go in cycles, up and down... if so we're just about due for new round of Victorian prudishness! :mrgreen:

Uh, Victorian ages were very smarmy and not-so-prudish...lol
 
You have a point... what constitutes "foul language" and what is acceptible is defined by society, and the definitions are kinda arbitrary.

For instance, "crap" and **** mean the same thing... but people will say the former and castigate you for using the latter expression ten seconds later. In a way it makes no sense.

OTOH it is a lowest-common denominator thing, and a lowering of the bar. Once upon a time, if you wanted to shock someone, exhibit extreme emphasis, or make it clear you were getting really angry, you could throw the word "damn" into your sentence and get people's attention. "Damn" eventually became so common that a new word was needed if one wished to accomplish the same thing, so people started throwing the F-bomb around... and now THAT has gotten so common that not many bat an eye anymore, so to get people's attention you have to go to EXTREMES with combinational foul language... and you hear things like "go such a syphillitic donkey dick and die, you ********ing bitch" being said between 17yo girls in public places.

Just how low and how crude are we going to go?

Also, the way one thinks and the words one uses are related, and feed into how one acts. Are there long-term psychological and social effects involved in being so crude and offensive?

Kinda worries me.


Of course, things often tend to go in cycles, up and down... if so we're just about due for new round of Victorian prudishness! :mrgreen:

I would argue that saying **** really isn't crude :shrug:

I would like to live in a time/place where people are offended by actual offensive things like being rude, inconsiderate, etc, and not things we make up to be offended about.
 
Uh, Victorian ages were very smarmy and not-so-prudish...lol



More like a veneer of buttoned-down lace and sexual repression, veiling the corruption and decadence beneath. :mrgreen:


But personally, I'd prefer society's corruption and decadence be hidden and viewed as a shame. At least then there's an acknowlegement that the corruption is wrong and ought not be out in the public eye.

The proliferation of strip clubs and the way they advertise publically now... this is astonishing to me and a sign of great moral debasement in society. There were always SOME such places, even forty years ago... but they were hidden and strictly word-of-mouth, and few would admit to having been to one.
 
I would argue that saying **** really isn't crude :shrug:

I would like to live in a time/place where people are offended by actual offensive things like being rude, inconsiderate, etc, and not things we make up to be offended about.

Different people can interpret the same phrase in different ways.
A certain racially charged word, can be used to insult or address someone.

It's generally best to avoid cussing around people with whom you don't know their tolerance level of language.
 
Do you feel that disrespect among young people (ages teens to early 20s) is rampant?

My own children are 16 and 14, and I'm telling you... cursing and disrespectful behavior isn't tolerated. Although they will try to get away with it, there are very clear and very swift consequences. My children do not swear at me, teachers or other adults. However, some of their friends DO and it seems that either because of lack of parental guidance or laxa-daisy enforcement by school officials country wide - it appears at least, to be an epidemic of sorts.

Thoughts?

Cursing doesn't bother me generally speaking - the words themselves are never offensive. I'm passionate about etymology. I and my children are creative communicators - we can come up with some pretty harsh and pert put-downs and verbal ventings without using them if we want to. I don't fear the words, they don't put me off or make me think of someone as being ignorant or crass and really - I don't like our societies stuffiness when it comes to certain words. The origins of what we considered foul curse words is based on prejudice and hatred of cultures / nationalities from the days of the past . . . I don't like racism and prejudice AT ALL so honestly - I always made sure my children knew the real origins of these horrid 'curse words' and why others find it so offensive . . . and why I do not.

Hmm - well - I think it's been brought up in another thread: but I have very different levels of what is 'ok' - It's fine to be whatever you want at home. Home is safe - not much judgement. Relax, kick back your feet - just don't hurt anyone and get your chores done and we're pretty much fine with anything.

However - public, school and family trips to see the grandparents . . . nope. The traditional levels of decency and respect firmly apply. Home and in our vehicle are the only two places where there are very few rules as far as that type of thing goes.

Thusly - violations outside the home are met with much more strict consequences when they do happen than my parents had done when I was growing up. One such response is to put the child on talk-limitation.

Yep - my children are told not to talk. . . usually for an entire day - or two days depending on what happened. (who things were said to - obvious this is in response to only verbal offenses)

I'm cruel and evil. Telling a kid they can't speak is as harsh as it gets - and it works. We only have one or two incidences a year and the last two have been with our 2nd son. He only curses when he's angry - it's never been a habit he 'picked up' casually like me.

Other than the cursing topic - we're strict on how they TREAT other people . . . my children are very polite and I don't tolerate wild behavior, back talk and attitude issues.

If something happens - a teacher is on their last nerve or the cashier was rude . . . they can let it out *when they're home* - I refuse to force my children to always bottle up their thoughts and feelings or learn that they can only take out their feelings while playing sports.

One crucial thing that was horribly absent from my childhood was the comfort with my parents to tell them whatever I was thinking - about whoever I was thinking it about - to any extent I felt necessary. I had to always keep it to myself and never say anything that they might considered 'rude or wrong' against others . . . I refuse to raise my children on such a leash.

The openness we have with our children is wonderful and something I never dreamed - and still don't see possible - with my family. If something's going on in my kid's life I want them to know they have me - if no one else will listen. I'll listen and odds are I've felt it at some point or thought the same thing.
 
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I would argue that saying **** really isn't crude :shrug:

I would like to live in a time/place where people are offended by actual offensive things like being rude, inconsiderate, etc, and not things we make up to be offended about.

Cussing isn't rude so much as base, but the two are often identical because being base suggests (and communicates) a lack of mindfulness. Excessive swearing in the presence of the President of the United States might be interpreted as an imposition on his time and station, for example, the gravity of which requires most conversations occur at a 'higher' caliber of interaction. Even interactions with ordinary citizens are supposed to facilitate a sense of republican dignity that is both equitable and respectful.
 
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More like a veneer of buttoned-down lace and sexual repression, veiling the corruption and decadence beneath. :mrgreen:


But personally, I'd prefer society's corruption and decadence be hidden and viewed as a shame. At least then there's an acknowlegement that the corruption is wrong and ought not be out in the public eye.

The proliferation of strip clubs and the way they advertise publically now... this is astonishing to me and a sign of great moral debasement in society. There were always SOME such places, even forty years ago... but they were hidden and strictly word-of-mouth, and few would admit to having been to one.

Yeah, I'm completely the opposite way, we're all human, we all like sex, why be ashamed of it? I think the shame, lying, and judgement about such places are much worse for society. :shrug:
 
Cursing doesn't bother me generally speaking - the words themselves are never offensive. I'm passionate about etymology. I and my children are creative communicators - we can come up with some pretty harsh and pert put-downs and verbal ventings without using them if we want to. I don't fear the words, they don't put me off or make me think of someone as being ignorant or crass and really - I don't like our societies stuffiness when it comes to certain words. The origins of what we considered foul curse words is based on prejudice and hatred of cultures / nationalities from the days of the past . . . I don't like racism and prejudice AT ALL so honestly - I always made sure my children knew the real origins of these horrid 'curse words' and why others find it so offensive . . . and why I do not.

Hmm - well - I think it's been brought up in another thread: but I have very different levels of what is 'ok' - It's fine to be whatever you want at home. Home is safe - not much judgement. Relax, kick back your feet - just don't hurt anyone and get your chores done and we're pretty much fine with anything.

However - public, school and family trips to see the grandparents . . . nope. The traditional levels of decency and respect firmly apply. Home and in our vehicle are the only two places where there are very few rules as far as that type of thing goes.

Thusly - violations outside the home are met with much more strict consequences when they do happen than my parents had done when I was growing up. One such response is to put the child on talk-limitation.

Yep - my children are told not to talk. . . usually for an entire day - or two days depending on what happened. (who things were said to - obvious this is in response to only verbal offenses)

I'm cruel and evil. Telling a kid they can't speak is as harsh as it gets - and it works. We only have one or two incidences a year and the last two have been with our 2nd son. He only curses when he's angry - it's never been a habit he 'picked up' casually like me.

Other than the cursing topic - we're strict on how they TREAT other people . . . my children are very polite and I don't tolerate wild behavior, back talk and attitude issues.

If something happens - a teacher is on their last nerve or the cashier was rude . . . they can let it out *when they're home* - I refuse to force my children to always bottle up their thoughts and feelings or learn that they can only take out their feelings while playing sports.

One crucial thing that was horribly absent from my childhood was the comfort with my parents to tell them whatever I was thinking - about whoever I was thinking it about - to any extent I felt necessary. I had to always keep it to myself and never say anything that they might considered 'rude or wrong' against others . . . I refuse to raise my children on such a leash.

The openness we have with our children is wonderful and something I never dreamed - and still don't see possible - with my family. If something's going on in my kid's life I want them to know they have me - if no one else will listen. I'll listen and odds are I've felt it at some point or thought the same thing.

This is basically my thoughts as well. Curse words don't offend me, rudeness does.
 
Yeah, I'm completely the opposite way, we're all human, we all like sex, why be ashamed of it? I think the shame, lying, and judgement about such places are much worse for society. :shrug:

Same reason having sex in public is frowned upon.



Some things need to be private, or at least not publically rampant.
 
Walking around with your pants under your butt, wearing your underwear in public, is pretty pathetic....
 
Walking around with your pants under your butt, wearing your underwear in public, is pretty pathetic....



I figured 20 years ago that THAT particular stupid-ass fashion trend would die out soon... and I'm still waiting. For something that is not only so ridiculous looking, but also so impractical and limiting, it has been remarkably persistent and enduring.

Drive me nuts, personally.
 
Same reason having sex in public is frowned upon.



Some things need to be private, or at least not publically rampant.

There is a difference between not hiding these kind of places, and not being ashamed of their existence, and having sex in public. It's not like they are stripping out in the street, or in case of sex stores it's not like they toys are outside on display.
 
There is a difference between not hiding these kind of places, and not being ashamed of their existence, and having sex in public. It's not like they are stripping out in the street, or in case of sex stores it's not like they toys are outside on display.

I'm a very sexually expressive person...however...I am a believer in there is an appropriate time and place for expression of this sort of thing.
 
This is basically my thoughts as well. Curse words don't offend me, rudeness does.

Yes - it's how it's used.

Interesting thing - only our 2nd son curses when he's angry. Our other 3 children curse when they're joking around, goofing off - they're like little George Carlins. When these three get angry and upset their language becomes uniquely colorful - poetically so. It's just so adorable.

Like - today my daughter lost a ring at school that her 'boyfriend' just gave her - and couldn't find it on the playground. She was heartbroken, digging in the pebbles trying to find it. Sobbing.

So she complained to me that "This is most unfair! I feel cursed! Like I have toes on my hands!" - How dramatic can the language of an 8 year old get? That to me is much more descriptive of how it made her feel. Very clear and sharp - much more verbally powerful than saying 'goddamnit - I lost my mother****ing ring'

And they're so sarcastic to - I love that they've all picked this up. Yesterday I was complaining about the burnt sugar in a pan. My oldest walked in the kitchen and said "Crap. Well that sucks. I feel very sorry for you." Funny as hell because they do the dishes every day . . . I wash my cookware that won't fit in the dishwasher when they're done if there is any . . . they so totally don't feel for me on that.
 
There is a difference between not hiding these kind of places, and not being ashamed of their existence, and having sex in public. It's not like they are stripping out in the street, or in case of sex stores it's not like they toys are outside on display.

Yea but not everyone wants to see, hear etc, what you do with your personal time.
Sexual acts are mostly inherently personal.
 
I'm a very sexually expressive person...however...I am a believer in there is an appropriate time and place for expression of this sort of thing.

Oh I agree, I'm just saying that repressing things always leads to more problems than just being open about what you are repressing.
 
I have a leg in both arguments here.
I don't care if people cuss or talk about their personal lives, but I think it should be looked upon more favorably, that it be done with some discretion.
Local strip clubs, I'm fine with that, the ridiculous billboards, I think the local community has a right to regulate it.

Some people in this world don't have that brain block, that goes "don't tell this person about that."
When I was 18, a female coworker, in her 50's, decided to tell me she douched her vagina.
What the hell did I need to know that for?
 
I have a leg in both arguments here.
I don't care if people cuss or talk about their personal lives, but I think it should be looked upon more favorably, that it be done with some discretion.
Local strip clubs, I'm fine with that, the ridiculous billboards, I think the local community has a right to regulate it.

Some people in this world don't have that brain block, that goes "don't tell this person about that."
When I was 18, a female coworker, in her 50's, decided to tell me she douched her vagina.
What the hell did I need to know that for?

:rofl

Why is it that douching comes up in the work environment. I was 22, managing a movie theater, and learned what the hell that was from my 17 year old concessionist on her lunch break.
 
:rofl

Why is it that douching comes up in the work environment. I was 22, managing a movie theater, and learned what the hell that was from my 17 year old concessionist on her lunch break.

I've had some male coworkers telling me how they screwed their wives and the color of their wive's vagina.
My response, :shock: "Uhh thanks I guess."
 
I figured 20 years ago that THAT particular stupid-ass fashion trend would die out soon... and I'm still waiting. For something that is not only so ridiculous looking, but also so impractical and limiting, it has been remarkably persistent and enduring.

Drive me nuts, personally.

It comes from prison fashion.

It starter there........

Just like rap music is taken from the lowest common denominator....

Prison and hood music......
 
I've had some male coworkers telling me how they screwed their wives and the color of their wive's vagina.
My response, :shock: "Uhh thanks I guess."

LOL!! That's so wrong!
But of course - I can't claim innocence here. I freaked some poor guy out when he came upstairs to the maintenance room and found me bored out of my mind - hour 10 of a 12 hour shift - using the echo of the room to make wild sex noises.

I swear I thought I would have heard the security chime early enough to shut the **** up.
 
LOL!! That's so wrong!
But of course - I can't claim innocence here. I freaked some poor guy out when he came upstairs to the maintenance room and found me bored out of my mind - hour 10 of a 12 hour shift - using the echo of the room to make wild sex noises.

I swear I thought I would have heard the security chime early enough to shut the **** up.

Meh, you thought you were alone.
It's different than someone coming up and telling you these things.
 
Meh, you thought you were alone.
It's different than someone coming up and telling you these things.

Hmm - knowing me - I've probably done exactly that. A little sleep dep - who knows what'll come out of my mouth when I start yapping. I know I've talked about my husband's **** - a lot.
 
Okay, okay....

Let's focus on cursing someone out. Think about the girl who told that judge to **** himself (or whatever the exactly phrase is).

I say curse words, and so do a lot of people...however, if someone makes me angry, my first reaction isn't to call them a 'stupid mother****er '. .. but apparently by today's standards, that's not a big deal? Really?

I'm sorry, but that's what I'm talking about when I say disrespectful...and Yes...I'm fully aware someone can be disrespectful without cursing...I'm not talking about absolutes here.

Generally speaking...is it the norm to just treat many in a disrespectful manner or is it a growing issue??
 
Okay, okay....

Let's focus on cursing someone out. Think about the girl who told that judge to **** himself (or whatever the exactly phrase is).

I say curse words, and so do a lot of people...however, if someone makes me angry, my first reaction isn't to call them a 'stupid mother****er '. .. but apparently by today's standards, that's jot a No g deal? Really?

I'm sorry, but that's what I'm talking about when I say disrespectful...and Yes...I'm fully aware someone can be disrespectful without cursing...I'm not talking about absolutes here.

Generally speaking...is it the norm to just treat many in a disrespectful manner or is it a growing issue??

Ah - yes . . . it's a growing norm. PUBLIC displays of idiocy (however it's delivered) - used to make someone feel shamed and negated.

Now - well - I think it's actually the sense of 'self' . . . just not caring what others think. Set apart from society - personal activities aren't toxic to employment / education.
 
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