View Poll Results: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

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  • Yes

    60 78.95%
  • No

    3 3.95%
  • I don't know

    2 2.63%
  • I don't care

    11 14.47%
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Thread: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

  1. #81
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Lots of religious people thought they would burn in hell if they got a divorce. Then all of the sudden, the church got a new revelation. Yes, God himself spoke and said that people CAN get a divorce now I guess.
    Nothing new whatsoever. The Church has always allowed for divorces in certain situations, and those remain in force. Scripture hasn't changed. Gods' view of marriage and divorce hasn't, either.


    However, the point remains. Divorces in Protestant-dominated America are not driven by Catholic theological regulation.

  2. #82
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mathematician View Post
    I agree, but people need to identify this unhappiness ASAP, especially before having kids.
    Yeah, well unfortunately it doesn't always go that way. I was conceived BEFORE my parents got married, and my parents married at the "urging" of my grandfather (my mother's father).

    Another interesting point is that when kids are raised in a home where the parents don't get along, a lot of times they will do just about ANYTHING to escape that situation. That can be just as unhealthy as the alternative.

    I looked, but I couldn't find any statistics that compare the differences between children raised in homes with unhappy parents versus those raised in divorce or separation situations. That would be a more fair comparison IMO.

  3. #83
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    No living together BEFORE having kids to test the waters.
    Ahhh

    You have to admit that there is ambiguity in parsing that sentence
    "With me everything turns into mathematics."
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  4. #84
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by cpwill View Post
    Actual abuse where the offender lacks the ability or even the will to reform - I don't think you'll find many arguing that it's good for anyone to keep that habitat. That's why fairly conservative Christians such as myself volunteer (as I have done) at women's shelters. But the whole "oh we just don't get along - we are unhappy - we fight - we are incompatible - we have irreconcilable differences" schtick gets tossed around way to easily these days to accurately reflect reality. The focus on My Happiness and What Am I Getting Out Of This and How Am I Feeling is a destructive, self-centered approach that is the real death of these marriages, not the arguments.
    That's a load of bull. Some personality types just don't mix. Some people are destructive to one another BECAUSE they are together and shouldn't be.

  5. #85
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mathematician View Post
    Ahhh

    You have to admit that there is ambiguity in parsing that sentence
    Meh, I have to worry about proper sentence structure and grammar all day at work. I relax it a bit when I'm here and am a little more careless.

  6. #86
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    I think people should live together before they get married and have kids to test the waters. That would be the smart thing to do IMO.
    You would think so, it makes a kind of intuitive sense. And yet, that's not what we see. Instead, numerous studies find that couples who live together have a higher rate of divorce than couples who don't cohabit before marrying. And prior to the divorce, these couples have lower rates of marital satisfaction.

  7. #87
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    That's true, and I'm aware of that. That's what I meant by fear. I don't see why we can't have common law marriage. You just prove that you've lived together for the required period of time.
    Don't you think it would be a lot easier just to pop in to the justice of the peace and get married? Not like it takes a long time or costs much.
    The morality of abortion is not a religious belief, any more than the morality of slavery, apartheid, rape, larceny, murder or arson is a religious belief. These are norms of the natural law of mankind and can be legislated even in a completely religionless society.

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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChuckBerry View Post
    Don't you think it would be a lot easier just to pop in to the justice of the peace and get married? Not like it takes a long time or costs much.
    Why? .

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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    That's a load of bull. Some personality types just don't mix. Some people are destructive to one another BECAUSE they are together and shouldn't be.
    On the contrary, "Just Don't Mix" is an excuse given for "it is tough". Although I wholly agree that there are lots of people who are destructive to each other. It is simply that the correct choice for that is to work on not being destructive to each other, but rather to choose to serve each other.

  10. #90
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    I think that people who want to have kids should be in a stable, committed, permanent relationship. That usually means marriage, though it doesn't have to.
    If you build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day.

    If you set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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