View Poll Results: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

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  • Yes

    60 78.95%
  • No

    3 3.95%
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    2 2.63%
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    11 14.47%
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Thread: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

  1. #71
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by cpwill View Post
    Obviously you have no idea what issues we did or did not have, as obviously only we are the ones fully aware. However, I'll tell you that you are indeed quite wrong and leave it at that.



    On the contrary - the divorce rates we see today are a relatively modern phenomenon.



    Not at all. I simply refuse to discount will.
    Yes, divorce rates are modern phenomena because the Catholic church finally allowed people who were trapped in unhappy marriages to escape.

  2. #72
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    And how long have you been married for, and how old are you cpwill?
    I'm only thirty. My parents, however, fought through tough years themselves, and taught me both explicitly and through example the same that I've written above. They learned it in turn from their parents (though to be fair, more my dad's). The model works, as it has for generations.

    You still have a LONG way to go friend.
    and Thank God for that . I'm looking forward to the journey.

  3. #73
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Yes, divorce rates are modern phenomena because the Catholic church finally allowed people who were trapped in unhappy marriages to escape.
    What a fascinating bit of historical trivia. I had no idea that the Catholic Church was allowed to write legislation in 17th through early 20th Century America.

  4. #74
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Children can sense and they know when their parents don't get along and when their parents are unhappy. When the parents are unhappy, that, in turn, makes the children unhappy. Some marriages split for GOOD reasons, such as abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness, etc. Other times, they split up because they are not compatible and have irreconcilable differences.

  5. #75
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by cpwill View Post
    What a fascinating bit of historical trivia. I had no idea that the Catholic Church was allowed to write legislation in 17th through early 20th Century America.
    Lots of religious people thought they would burn in hell if they got a divorce. Then all of the sudden, the church got a new revelation. Yes, God himself spoke and said that people CAN get a divorce now I guess.

  6. #76
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    I think people should live together before they get married and have kids to test the waters. That would be the smart thing to do IMO.

  7. #77
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Children can sense and they know when their parents don't get along and when their parents are unhappy. When the parents are unhappy, that, in turn, makes the children unhappy. Some marriages split for GOOD reasons, such as abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness, etc. Other times, they split up because they are not compatible and have irreconcilable differences.
    I agree, but people need to identify this unhappiness ASAP, especially before having kids.
    "With me everything turns into mathematics."
    "It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well."
    "It is truth very certain that, when it is not in one's power to determine what is true, we ought to follow what is more probable." -- Rene Descartes

  8. #78
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    I think people should live together before they get married and have kids to test the waters. That would be the smart thing to do IMO.
    Wait a second..."have kids to test the waters"?
    "With me everything turns into mathematics."
    "It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well."
    "It is truth very certain that, when it is not in one's power to determine what is true, we ought to follow what is more probable." -- Rene Descartes

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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mathematician View Post
    Wait a second..."have kids to test the waters"?
    No living together BEFORE having kids to test the waters.

  10. #80
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    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Children can sense and they know when their parents don't get along and when their parents are unhappy. When the parents are unhappy, that, in turn, makes the children unhappy. Some marriages split for GOOD reasons, such as abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness, etc. Other times, they split up because they are not compatible and have irreconcilable differences.
    Actual abuse where the offender lacks the ability or even the will to reform - I don't think you'll find many arguing that it's good for anyone to keep that habitat. That's why fairly conservative Christians such as myself volunteer (as I have done) at women's shelters. But the whole "oh we just don't get along - we are unhappy - we fight - we are incompatible - we have irreconcilable differences" schtick gets tossed around way to easily these days to accurately reflect reality. The focus on My Happiness and What Am I Getting Out Of This and How Am I Feeling is a destructive, self-centered approach that is the real death of these marriages, not the arguments.

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