View Poll Results: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

Voters
76. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes

    60 78.95%
  • No

    3 3.95%
  • I don't know

    2 2.63%
  • I don't care

    11 14.47%
Page 14 of 22 FirstFirst ... 41213141516 ... LastLast
Results 131 to 140 of 218

Thread: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

  1. #131
    Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Mecca
    Last Seen
    01-14-15 @ 07:04 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    6,426

    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Harry Guerrilla View Post
    Not that, you still have your SO live with you, you just report it otherwise.
    That way you get the dual benefit of an income and full state aid.

    There are a lot of people who do this.
    Yes and a lot of guys fall into the back child support trap that way.

    They think "Oh she would never betray me, we're in love and we'll be together forever and ever". Then several years down the road they break up and suddenly he owes tens of thousands of dollars in back child support.

  2. #132
    Global Moderator
    Moderator

    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Last Seen
    @
    Gender
    Lean
    Independent
    Posts
    36,904

    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by haymarket View Post
    You are right. It does not always work out for everyone. Very very true.

    Having said that however, I do think life is a matter of playing the odds to a large extent. Yes, you can defy the odds and win. Yes, you can be the exception to the rule. Yes, if you succeed big enough you can even write your own new set of rules.

    But they are called exceptions for a reason. And I think the path I laid out would indeed work for the vast majority of people.
    In my observation, it generally does. Not always--there are no guarantees in life or innoculation from making decisions that turn out not to be right. But if you do the best you can and follow simple, sensible rules such as finishing school, devoutly practicing birth control, and marrying before having children, you're definitely "hedging your bets."

  3. #133
    Sage


    MaggieD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Chicago Area
    Last Seen
    @
    Gender
    Lean
    Moderate
    Posts
    43,243
    Blog Entries
    43

    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by Muhammed View Post
    Yes and a lot of guys fall into the back child support trap that way.

    They think "Oh she would never betray me, we're in love and we'll be together forever and ever". Then several years down the road they break up and suddenly he owes tens of thousands of dollars in back child support.
    This isn't true. As long as the mother and father of the child are living together, child support payments do not accrue. Not living together? Whole different ballgame.

    An aside: Any unmarried man who fathers a child should have a DNA test done immediately to establish paternity.
    The devil whispered in my ear, "You cannot withstand the storm." I whispered back, "I am ​the storm."

  4. #134
    Professor

    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Last Seen
    04-26-13 @ 03:23 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Other
    Posts
    1,404
    Blog Entries
    2

    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by MaggieD View Post
    Part of what you wish for is available through a prenuptial agreement. The four-year re-up? In your dreams.
    Now MaggieD: People should stay together because they want to be together not because some piece of paper is acting like a pair handcuffs. I think what happens is after 3 years serotonin levels drop back to normal and people wake up and say what am I doing here? 50% stay because they are afraid to go,50 % go because they just can't stand it any more. Out of the 50% that stay 30% feel trapped and wait hoping for their SO to die of natural or unnatural causes leaving 20% of marriages intact with two people who love each other. The four year opt out would mean that couples would have to try harder if they want their relationship "marriage" to work just like they had to try harder to please each other before the marriage certificate was signed. Children need to see their parents at least respecting one another not down in the dirt fighting like cats and dogs.

    Out of my 7 brothers, 4 including me have been divorced at least once, me I was married twice "16" years and "10 years" two of my brothers passed on before they had a chance to get divorced, leaving only one married without children. My mother and father divorced before I entered kindergarten, my mother and her second husband fought like cats and wild dogs until he died, my father remarried my step mother who was divorced from her first husband, My second wife was divorced from her first marriage. My first long term lady friend "7 years" was in the process of divorcing her first husband when we met,my second and final present long term lady friend "4 years" stayed in a unhappy marriage until her second husband died. My daughter and only child divorced her husband "4 years"and is now living in sin.

    Now tell me Maggie does the four year opt out sound so bad?

  5. #135
    Baby Eating Monster
    Korimyr the Rat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Laramie, WY
    Last Seen
    11-23-17 @ 02:02 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Libertarian - Left
    Posts
    18,709
    Blog Entries
    1

    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisL View Post
    Well, not to be rude, but MOST people probably don't consider YOUR feelings when considering a divorce. They do what is best for themselves at the time.
    Yes. At the expense of their spouse and their children. And, for the most part, their own long-term interests.

  6. #136
    Sage

    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Last Seen
    Today @ 10:49 AM
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    89,840

    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfie View Post
    Get a graduation..

    Take any job..

    Marry someone who is better than you are..(did you love her?)
    What is cynical about graduating from high school? I think its pretty solid advice for most folks.

    What is cynical about working at a full time job? Again, I thinks its pretty solid advice for most folks.

    I married at the age of 21. I am still married to the same person 42 years later. Love was the reason we got married and love is the reason we stay married. I consider myself like George Bailey at the end of IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE - the luckiest man in town.
    __________________________________________________ _
    There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.... John Rogers

  7. #137
    Sage


    MaggieD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Chicago Area
    Last Seen
    @
    Gender
    Lean
    Moderate
    Posts
    43,243
    Blog Entries
    43

    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by EarlzP View Post
    Now MaggieD: People should stay together because they want to be together not because some piece of paper is acting like a pair handcuffs. I think what happens is after 3 years serotonin levels drop back to normal and people wake up and say what am I doing here? 50% stay because they are afraid to go,50 % go because they just can't stand it any more. Out of the 50% that stay 30% feel trapped and wait hoping for their SO to die of natural or unnatural causes leaving 20% of marriages intact with two people who love each other. The four year opt out would mean that couples would have to try harder if they want their relationship "marriage" to work just like they had to try harder to please each other before the marriage certificate was signed. Children need to see their parents at least respecting one another not down in the dirt fighting like cats and dogs.

    Out of my 7 brothers, 4 including me have been divorced at least once, me I was married twice "16" years and "10 years" two of my brothers passed on before they had a chance to get divorced, leaving only one married without children. My mother and father divorced before I entered kindergarten, my mother and her second husband fought like cats and wild dogs until he died, my father remarried my step mother who was divorced from her first husband, My second wife was divorced from her first marriage. My first long term lady friend "7 years" was in the process of divorcing her first husband when we met,my second and final present long term lady friend "4 years" stayed in a unhappy marriage until her second husband died. My daughter and only child divorced her husband "4 years"and is now living in sin.

    Now tell me Maggie does the four year opt out sound so bad?
    It does for your family.
    The devil whispered in my ear, "You cannot withstand the storm." I whispered back, "I am ​the storm."

  8. #138
    Baby Eating Monster
    Korimyr the Rat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Laramie, WY
    Last Seen
    11-23-17 @ 02:02 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Libertarian - Left
    Posts
    18,709
    Blog Entries
    1

    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by StubbornMoose View Post
    wait until marriage, no. wait until in a committed relationship and having kids is something you both want, yes.

    some people choose to never get married yet live like they are, i have no problem with them having kids.
    I do. If you're in a committed relationship and want to have children that is what marriage is for. If you're not committed enough to get married, then you are ****ing lying to yourself if you think you're committed enough to have children.

  9. #139
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Last Seen
    10-27-13 @ 03:09 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    3,229

    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by haymarket View Post
    What is cynical about graduating from high school? I think its pretty solid advice for most folks.

    What is cynical about working at a full time job? Again, I thinks its pretty solid advice for most folks.

    I married at the age of 21. I am still married to the same person 42 years later. Love was the reason we got married and love is the reason we stay married. I consider myself like George Bailey at the end of IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE - the luckiest man in town.
    I misunderstood you..It sounded like you were on the hunt for a rich lady...I am glad you found your angel...

  10. #140
    Sage

    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Last Seen
    Today @ 10:49 AM
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    89,840

    Re: Should people wait until marriage to have children?

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfie View Post
    I misunderstood you..It sounded like you were on the hunt for a rich lady...I am glad you found your angel...
    No problem. And I did find a rich lady. She has a billion dollar smile and a personality worth more than a bucket filled with jewels. It may sound corny but I had this image of the perfect girl in my head for a while and when I saw here in college one day, I knew in a manner of a few minutes.

    It took here a while to come around. But then she is a lot smarter than me.

    One thing she says is that 'every pot has a lid'. I hope everybody can find the one that fits for them.
    __________________________________________________ _
    There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.... John Rogers

Page 14 of 22 FirstFirst ... 41213141516 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •