View Poll Results: Should a parent choose the kid's GF/BF/wife/husband?

Voters
15. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes, if the parent is worth something and the kid too, then prove this to the kid, with this.

    0 0%
  • No, kids do whatever, befause everyone is of worth (to self only).

    11 73.33%
  • Other.

    4 26.67%
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 35

Thread: The most obvious parental neglect: should a parent forget to CHOOSE?

  1. #11
    Global Moderator
    Moderator

    Gina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Last Seen
    Today @ 11:12 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Liberal
    Posts
    31,850

    Re: The most obvious parental neglect: should a parent forget to CHOOSE?

    Quote Originally Posted by ab9924 View Post
    My parents can't participate in my life, but they assembled the plan of it and I am run accordingly until 18. I don't know how it was arranged, but the trustees arranged a GF for me who will travel to join me at the end of this month. I think the guys at the church told them that I had too many GF's or too few, or that I was gay (which I am not), or something. She and I skype now a lot, first I was not really thrilled by this arrangement, but now I like her a lot, and the trustees may have been very well right. That is, that the best person for you is who is brought to you by the people who made a person out of you too. (Although I think you may be right, if there was no program to formulate a person out of you to begin with, in which case you are indeed on your own, as you describe it.)
    Well, I'm glad it may work out for you, but I was far from on my own and there was a plan to "formulate" me. That plan was to make my parents, for the most part, obsolete. To make me capable of making my own choices and yes, allowing me to make mistakes so that I could learn from them. In the end, able to stand successfully on my own two feet. That is how I have raised and am raising my kids.

    I don't know your story, but it sounds like we are discussing a cultural difference. Possibly you are defensive over this arrangement?

    You know you, better than anyone. You are the best one to judge what is right for you.

  2. #12
    Educator / Liar Champion ab9924's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Sharing time between UK and US.
    Last Seen
    11-19-12 @ 10:57 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Independent
    Posts
    904

    Re: The most obvious parental neglect: should a parent forget to CHOOSE?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gina View Post
    Well, I'm glad it may work out for you, but I was far from on my own and there was a plan to "formulate" me. That plan was to make my parents, for the most part, obsolete. To make me capable of making my own choices and yes, allowing me to make mistakes so that I could learn from them. In the end, able to stand successfully on my own two feet. That is how I have raised and am raising my kids.

    I don't know your story, but it sounds like we are discussing a cultural difference. Possibly you are defensive over this arrangement?

    You know you, better than anyone. You are the best one to judge what is right for you.
    Your post is so interesting and amazing ... most of all enigmatic. What is it like to "stand successfully on my own two feet"? Don't you need the people in your house and the network of advisors and associates to exist? And in personal relationships too? I have been very lucky in that the best girls picked me in school as well as at other places, and that my chef is also the best matchmaker in the world, BUT all of those relationships were more like a game, I was still alone. You seem to advocate for this and now I think you too have a weapon to make that work, that I don't have. I thought we had no cultural difference because I am a white American with Western European ancestry, but now I begin to realize that I know nothing about American culture. So then let me ask this, how do you make it work for yourself, when you run your entire life alone? ... Very puzzling. ...

  3. #13
    Pathetic Douchebag
    Cilogy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Texas
    Last Seen
    10-10-14 @ 05:42 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Independent
    Posts
    1,587

    Re: The most obvious parental neglect: should a parent forget to CHOOSE?

    Quote Originally Posted by ab9924 View Post
    Parents don't care about their children, they only pretend that they care
    But no parent does this any more, because they know that they themselves are worthless.


  4. #14
    Global Moderator
    Moderator

    Gina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Last Seen
    Today @ 11:12 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Liberal
    Posts
    31,850

    Re: The most obvious parental neglect: should a parent forget to CHOOSE?

    Quote Originally Posted by ab9924 View Post
    Your post is so interesting and amazing ... most of all enigmatic. What is it like to "stand successfully on my own two feet"? Don't you need the people in your house and the network of advisors and associates to exist? And in personal relationships too? I have been very lucky in that the best girls picked me in school as well as at other places, and that my chef is also the best matchmaker in the world, BUT all of those relationships were more like a game, I was still alone. You seem to advocate for this and now I think you too have a weapon to make that work, that I don't have. I thought we had no cultural difference because I am a white American with Western European ancestry, but now I begin to realize that I know nothing about American culture. So then let me ask this, how do you make it work for yourself, when you run your entire life alone? ... Very puzzling. ...
    I run my life, but I am not alone, I have a family. Life for me is more full and interesting with my family and friends. I didn't mean that I am alone, but my parents raised me to be self-sufficient. That if needs be, I can do for myself, without the help of others. Is that ideal for me? No, I like having my family and network of friends and associates. But if I were a different person, more of a loner, I would be set. Everyone should be able to take care of themselves and make their own decisions. It's part of being a functioning adult. That we may need to lean on people from time to time, is fine, but in the end, it's your life and you are responsible for it.

  5. #15
    Pathetic Douchebag
    Cilogy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Texas
    Last Seen
    10-10-14 @ 05:42 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Independent
    Posts
    1,587

    Re: The most obvious parental neglect: should a parent forget to CHOOSE?

    The parents who care the most are the ones who trust their kids enough to make responsible decisions for their own well-being.

    The parents who want to make decisions for their children are:

    1. painfully insecure
    2. don't trust their children at all
    3. probably have leftover issues from their own childhood


  6. #16
    On Vacation
    joko104's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Last Seen
    12-03-17 @ 03:32 AM
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    31,568
    Blog Entries
    2

    Re: The most obvious parental neglect: should a parent forget to CHOOSE?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cilogy View Post
    The parents who care the most are the ones who trust their kids enough to make responsible decisions for their own well-being.

    The parents who want to make decisions for their children are:

    1. painfully insecure
    2. don't trust their children at all
    3. probably have leftover issues from their own childhood

    With the added benefit of doing nothing is the easiest parenting at all, huh?

  7. #17
    Sage
    Fisher's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Last Seen
    12-06-13 @ 02:44 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Very Liberal
    Posts
    17,002

    Re: The most obvious parental neglect: should a parent forget to CHOOSE?

    Best thing my dad ever did for me was take me to a shaky old barber with antique clippers that would rattle your teeth and brains. Everybody got the same haircut--no hair left. He said when I could pay for it myself, I could decide how my hair got cut and by whom. Nothing motivated me more to earn and save at a very young age than to escape that man's barber chair. I was pushing a lawn mower around my neighborhood before I was much taller than the handles.

  8. #18
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Cleveland, Ohio, USA
    Last Seen
    12-10-12 @ 07:01 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Independent
    Posts
    12,316

    Re: The most obvious parental neglect: should a parent forget to CHOOSE?

    Ab9924, I cannot begin to imagine what sort of arrangement you are trying to live with, what force it may have, who designed, it, etc. Is this something based on religion?

    If anyone is controlling you to the point of trying to force you to accept some girl you don't don't know as a romantic partner, I suggest you see a lawyer to discuss what your rights may be.

  9. #19
    Sage
    Fisher's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Last Seen
    12-06-13 @ 02:44 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Very Liberal
    Posts
    17,002

    Re: The most obvious parental neglect: should a parent forget to CHOOSE?

    All relationships change with time one way or the other, especially parent-child ones. Stand on your own two feet and deal with the consequences good or bad.

  10. #20
    Sage
    Mycroft's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Last Seen
    Today @ 11:10 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Conservative
    Posts
    25,798

    Re: The most obvious parental neglect: should a parent forget to CHOOSE?

    Quote Originally Posted by ab9924 View Post
    From the other threads, it became obvious that parents want their children to be ... successful, profitable, respected, achieving, to be proud of, and so on, ... except one thing: valuable/worth.

    It is our families that formulate what we are and how much we are worth to others. So, the question is, why do the parents abandone their children after they formulated their children for themselves?

    Shouldn't parents take a pass/fail exam like kids do? For example, how about a parent doing what all parents used to do, that is to formulate the child to be of WORTH to someone, and then verify their parenting by asking another family if their child is WORTH to join that child?

    Parents don't care about their children, they only pretend that they care, otherwise they would put their own worth on the line to find the 1st serious GF/BF or wife/husband. If that works, at least parents would know that their lives were worth something too. But no parent does this any more, because they know that they themselves are worthless.

    So what's your take? Should you test your own worth by proving that your kid is worth to someone who is of worth to your kid too, or don't bother?
    I'd say...don't bother.

    Lets face it, the "worth" of my two sons is not dependent upon MY worth. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that their worth, in time, will be much greater than my worth. Heck, I'd be doing them both a disservice if I presumed to arrange their gf's or wives for them.
    TANSTAAFL

    “An armed society is a polite society.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein, Beyond This Horizon

Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •