Can't some child welfare be sacrificed to provide some level of justice to a parent?
What does sexual fidelity have to do with fitness to be a parent?
It goes to show moral or ethical responsiblity. If one is a cheater then they are not trustworthy to anybody. This affects parenting.
I fail to see how cheating on your spouse makes you an unfit parent.
Makes you a bad human being? And usually bad human beings are bad parents? Or it could be that you are weak to commitment... I can come up with MANY reasons.
It goes to show moral or ethical responsiblity. If one is a cheater then they are not trustworthy to anybody. This affects parenting.
Makes you a bad human being? And usually bad human beings are bad parents? Or it could be that you are weak to commitment... I can come up with MANY reasons.
Accordign to Science Daily the number of potential cheaters is quite high - 40 to 70% might cheat . .. are 40-70% automatically untrustworthy? According to these statistics - most of us know someone who's cheated during their marriage . . . do you realize if anyone has? 40-70% is 4/10 or 7/10. Well I know more than 10 married couples and I can't envision any of them cheating on their partners.
Such blanket-condemning thought process isn't based on reality -
it's based on the assumption that one singular decision or incident nets that the individual - for their entire life thereafter - is a bad, horrid person. It's just not true. While it might be a bad decision and it might have negative consequences - it doesn't mean the person can't pay the bills on time, can't feed the family, can't take kids to the hospital when they're sick and stay up with them at night. It doesn't mean that one can't do a good job at work - not nipping money out of the till and so on
I don't believe in not giving someone a 2nd chance - or an opportunity to correct their wrongs and amend a bad situation. I don't believe in holding one action against someone in every aspect of their life. People can and do change.
People shouldn't be defined by just their bad decisions in life. . .which, again, brings us back to it just being circumstantial and based on the situation, how everyone deals with it, and the course of action everyone takes.
Do you believe your bad decisions should govern everything else about you? I definitely don't - my dad never forgave me for getting pregnant during high school . . . as if I couldn't grow up, mature, and change at all in the last 15 years since then. . . like I'm incapable of doing anything else but ****ing everything that moves (seriously - he said that to my *current* husband - that he thought I had sex with everything that moves. . . my husband defended me quite honorable.)
So - no one should be condemning anyone except for those directly affected - if it's your co worker and it doesn't involve you then you shouldn't judge them. And if it is direct and personal - then just keep in mind that NOT EVERYONE is like THAT one person.
Not everyone is like my ex husband - ok?
So is being a cheater like being an alcoholic? Once one, always one? When does it stop? Should we break out the Scarlet Letters?
On a related note, I will tell you, I love my child but I wouldn't piss on the other half of her gene pool if he were on fire. The relationships are completely and totally different and CANNOT be compared. How I treat my partner/spouse and my child are not comparable. My child is a part of me.
I'm of the opinion that the person who spends the most time caring for the children's needs should have custody of the children while the other parent has visitation. In my opinion, the person who took them to birthday parties, to the doctor, trick or treating, attended parent/teacher conferences, gave the baths or the medicine when needed, cooked the dinners, washed the clothes and so on and so forth should be the one who keeps them most of the time. The parent who spends the least time caring for the kids should receive visitation rights. This keeps things somewhat stable for the children during a divorce. Whether a parent cheated or not doesn't really matter. Obviously if they were spending so much time cheating and not caring for the kids ...then it would matter. But they would lose custody because they weren't caring for the children not because they were cheating.
I'm going to have to disagree there because while the one who did all those things was doing their 50% share of the work, while the other did their 50% share, but got paid for it, thus allowing all parties to survive. Can't cook dinner with no food or kitchen, can't go to PTA with no gas, parties with no presents, and do laundry with no clothes. So, the idea that the one who was out working to make all things possible has less rights than the one who got to stay home and spend more time with the child is invalid, selfish, and wrong, in my opinion. You should be ashamed of yourself.
I'm going to have to disagree there because while the one who did all those things was doing their 50% share of the work, while the other did their 50% share, but got paid for it, thus allowing all parties to survive. Can't cook dinner with no food or kitchen, can't go to PTA with no gas, parties with no presents, and do laundry with no clothes. So, the idea that the one who was out working to make all things possible has less rights than the one who got to stay home and spend more time with the child is invalid, selfish, and wrong, in my opinion. You should be ashamed of yourself.
And besides, I worked and raised three kids. You can work and still do all of those things for your children and if you are a parent, you should be from the day they are born. Even if one parent stays home, when the other parent gets home they should want to help with baths, homework, dinner, ball practices, scout meetings, diaper changes, medicine giving, and all the wonderful things that come along with being a parent. If a parent has not done these things for their children in the past, it is not likely they are going to start just because they got a divorce.
No - no - you're just ignoring everything else I've said in this thread and latching onto that one post because I just recently put it up.
Like I said in the beginning - it's circumstancial . . . other things would have to happen for it to be a consideration in my view. It's all circumstantial. Like many of us first stated - usually if someone cheats in a relationship there were other problems and the marriage was already rocky.
Cheating isn't what breaks up the marraige - it's how they decide to handle it that might end the marriage. Many couples facing the situation DON'T DIVORCE - that is also their response.
If cheating was the nail - then it would be the nail whether they stayed together or not. . . but it's not.
Marriages end for all sorts of reasons - does that mean that one parent should always lose rights if they were somehow considered more at fault for the breakdown of the marriage?
You're only looking at the worst-case scenarios and assuming that it always is like that - and it's not.
No it's not, Bod.
Even though I cheated on my ex boyfriend with my husband when we met - and my ex boyfriend was even stationed via military duty.
My ex accused me of cheating around :roll: Ridiculous.
I was going to digest what you posted above, until I saw this today;
http://www.debatepolitics.com/polls/142396-should-women-allowed-custody-12.html#post1061144945
And remembered this from earlier in the thread;
http://www.debatepolitics.com/polls/142396-should-women-allowed-custody.html#post1061132637
Yeah, I am going to pass on even continuing this discussion with you.
Custody of your kids should have been remanded to your ex.
You are, in fact, a ****ty person.
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