- Joined
- Oct 20, 2009
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Your position is reasonable. But I still must ask, because the question begs for itself. Why do we rubber-stamp the destruction of a child's home by ignoring cheating as a cause? Also I was not arguing for full custody, I was arguing for a biassed joint custody as opposed to equal custody. Shouldn't cheating be punished when it destroys a child's home? Shouldn't be consequences to abandoning a jointly agreed marriage in the face of its dependents? Even your cell-phone contract may infer termination penalties, is a marriage not worth even that?
Someone cheats = couple breaks up over it . . . that isn't ignoring cheating. The entire family structure was disassembled and the entire future for that child was rewritten.
The whole reason why we're even discussing this is because it's NOT being ignored - ignoring it would be staying married even if you hate each other. . . that's ignoring it.
If someone's divorcing - trust me - they're suffering. . . I don't see how you can think otherwise. Divorce is hard, it sucks - even for the offending party that committed the wrong it's hard. I don't know ANY joyously happy divorces who were at main fault for causing the breaking of their marriage. They usually have a lot of personal baggage that they carry around.
The consequences are stark no matter what the situation - you no longer are in a solid family environment. You cannot share household issues with someone else. You cannot see your child every night - you cannot be there for them for everything like you would have otherwise regardless of the custody balance in the end.
Sounds ****ty to me - I can't imagine not being full-time mom to all 4 of my kids. That'd be hell. It would never be enough to see them just sometimes or on the weekends or however else it works out . . . and what if the other moves away and such? Ugh.
The divorce - balancing custody - cost of divorce (which can get high up there if you mediate, etc) - and loss of dignity and everything else . . . it doesn't sound like a cakewalk to me. Mine was uncontested but I still had to deal with him for a long time afterward.
Are you thinking of divorce as a pleasant fun event or someting? Your concept of what a divorced joint custody life is like is a bit baffling . . . I left my ex because he was abusive but it sucked having to live with my parents and work **** jobs to make my own ends meet without even so much as having child support from him.