View Poll Results: Should cheating ex-wives be allowed to contest custody?

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  • Yes, custody is ex-wives' right, unconditionally.

    9 16.07%
  • No, by cheating, they reduced their rights, husband needs upper hand.

    12 21.43%
  • Other.

    35 62.50%
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Thread: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by Kr1ll1n View Post
    People that cheat don't seem to have the patience to try any of the above, so why should we assume they could be patient with a child. Seriously, how hard is it to wait until you are free from a bad marriage to have sex with someone else?
    Because it is their child, and a parent-child relationship is completely different from a romantic love relationship.
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    The children need to go where it is best for them.
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie View Post
    Because it is their child, and a parent-child relationship is completely different from a romantic love relationship.
    Lizzie, am I somehow wrong in stating this -
    Quote Originally Posted by Kr1ll1n View Post
    Seriously, how hard is it to wait until you are free from a bad marriage to have sex with someone else?
    Statistics have time and time again shown that a 2 parent household is what is best for the child, even when the relationship between them is very argument and fight prone.
    In the study I provided earlier in the thread, with the numbers it included, "binge drinking" was the ONLY thing that increased over a single parent household against 2 parents that fight like cats and dogs.

    If that person they screw around with, is more important than trying the 3 things I mentioned earlier (discussion with spouse, marriage counseling, divorce), than should they be considered as having a perfect capacity to care for and protect the child's well being? I would argue not.

    Now, that being said, I understand things will happen like abuse, both physical and mental, but that really doesn't excuse cheating in the first place. If you want to walk away smelling like roses, do things the right way, and wait to have sex with whomever you wanted to outside of your marriage.

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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by Kr1ll1n View Post
    Lizzie, am I somehow wrong in stating this -

    Statistics have time and time again shown that a 2 parent household is what is best for the child, even when the relationship between them is very argument and fight prone.
    In the study I provided earlier in the thread, with the numbers it included, "binge drinking" was the ONLY thing that increased over a single parent household against 2 parents that fight like cats and dogs.

    If that person they screw around with, is more important than trying the 3 things I mentioned earlier (discussion with spouse, marriage counseling, divorce), than should they be considered as having a perfect capacity to care for and protect the child's well being? I would argue not.

    Now, that being said, I understand things will happen like abuse, both physical and mental, but that really doesn't excuse cheating in the first place. If you want to walk away smelling like roses, do things the right way, and wait to have sex with whomever you wanted to outside of your marriage.
    No, you're not wrong in your statement that people can (and I would add should) wait, but my point is that the two relationships are completely different types, and a woman who cheats isn't necessarily a bad mother. I'm not defending cheaters, but I am defending a point that the two relationships can't be equivocated in order to base mothering skills as deficient or morally inferior.
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie View Post
    No, you're not wrong in your statement that people can (and I would add should) wait, but my point is that the two relationships are completely different types, and a woman who cheats isn't necessarily a bad mother. I'm not defending cheaters, but I am defending a point that the two relationships can't be equivocated in order to base mothering skills as deficient or morally inferior.
    They can when you take things like this in to account;

    Another Cause of Early Puberty in Girls: Absent Dads | TIME.com

    Kids getting older younger — KGOY, as it’s known — is not just a cultural phenomenon. Girls are literally hitting puberty at a younger age, and alarming the health community, since early onset puberty is often associated with a higher incidence of breast cancer and of behavioral problems. Now a new study has suggested that fathers may have a hand in how their daughters mature.Researchers from University of California, Berkeley, have discovered that girls who live in homes without a biological father physically mature sooner than those who live with their biological father. People had always assumed this was because girls in such homes were more likely to have poorer diets and, thus, higher body mass index (BMI), a ratio of height to weight that determines obesity.
    Last edited by Kr1ll1n; 11-11-12 at 11:22 PM.

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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by Kr1ll1n View Post
    They can when you take things like this in to account, especially if it is a daughter, and not a son;

    Another Cause of Early Puberty in Girls: Absent Dads | TIME.com
    I don't doubt that, but it still isn't addressing the point that I made. I firmly believe that children need both parents, and that they do much better in a family setting with parents who love each other and work as a team to raise their children. What I am saying is that a woman (or man) who cheats is not a bad parent, but is a bad partner.
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by ab9924 View Post
    Should women be allowed custody of their children after they cheat on their husband, resulting in a divorce, where the husband demands full custody?
    There are many things that go into making a decision as to who best to have custody of children. The act of cheating alone shouldn't have anything to do with it at all, in my opinion.
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    Should women be allowed custody?

    How does a parent cheat on their spouse without giving up time that should have been spent with the children?
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by MaggieD View Post
    There are many things that go into making a decision as to who best to have custody of children. The act of cheating alone shouldn't have anything to do with it at all, in my opinion.
    I agree, solely because of the moral nature of the argument. Although I highly value moral behaviors, as a basis for maintaining a strong society, when morality enters civil law, the same people who support it in this case, will also writhe in pain if morality is brought into other civil law issues, and accuse Christians who don't support gay marriage of being the American Taliban.
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie View Post
    I don't doubt that, but it still isn't addressing the point that I made. I firmly believe that children need both parents, and that they do much better in a family setting with parents who love each other and work as a team to raise their children. What I am saying is that a woman (or man) who cheats is not a bad parent, but is a bad partner.
    I agree, but I believe it is an emotional divergence from the question originally posed, which was if a woman cheated, should she lose custodial rights. I am assuming the question is being proposed in a custody battle, courts scenario.

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