View Poll Results: Should cheating ex-wives be allowed to contest custody?

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  • Yes, custody is ex-wives' right, unconditionally.

    9 16.07%
  • No, by cheating, they reduced their rights, husband needs upper hand.

    12 21.43%
  • Other.

    35 62.50%
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Thread: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

  1. #21
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by ab9924 View Post
    Okay everyone, so if a woman cheats on her husband, hasn't she already proven with that that she is not able to be loyal or supportive and caring, so a child should not be assumed to receive any loyalty, support, and care from her, when examined in any court of law?
    No. Should my not giving money to a "homeless" man on the corner be indicative of my stingy and ungiving nature?

    You can't apply the actions one person commits against/in spite of one other person to the actions that person commits against/in spite of every other person.

    That isn't how people operate.
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by tessaesque View Post
    No. Should my not giving money to a "homeless" man on the corner be indicative of my stingy and ungiving nature?

    You can't apply the actions one person commits against/in spite of one other person to the actions that person commits against/in spite of every other person.

    That isn't how people operate.
    But, isn't the husband and her child the same because it was her explicit choice to have both of them?

  3. #23
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by ab9924 View Post
    Okay everyone, so if a woman cheats on her husband, hasn't she already proven with that that she is not able to be loyal or supportive and caring, so a child should not be assumed to receive any loyalty, support, and care from her, when examined in any court of law?
    No - violating your marital bonds isn't the same as violating your bond with your child.

    And what is with this 2nd statement - "a child should not be assumed o receive an loyalty, support, and care from her, when examined in a court of law?"
    Do you think that if he gets full custody she won't care for her child? Or do you think if she gets full custody she won't care for her child? What exactly are you getting at with this, here? Why are you solely focused on 'sole custody' - MOST divorces involving children that aren't done for excessive reasons (abuse, drug addiction, etc) - SHARE custody. Neither parent gets 'full' custody.

    This is full custody here:
    There are two specific areas that child custody refers to. The first area that child custody refers to is the area of legal responsibility and rights. Generally speaking, unless there is a compelling reason for the court to rule otherwise, parents will share joint legal custody of their children in a divorce. This means that parents both have the right and responsibility to make decisions for the child in important areas such as education, instruction in religion, and health care. When parents have shared or joint legal custody, both parents have the full authority to act on the child’s behalf in these areas. When only one parent has full legal custody, then only that parent has the right to make these sorts of decisions. Again, it is only in rare circumstances, such as when one parent has been convicted of child abuse or endangerment, that there would be sole legal custody.

    The second area that child custody refers to is physical custody. Having full physical custody of a child means that the child lives with you a vast majority of the time. It does not mean that the non-custodial parent cannot see the child, or that the child cannot stay with the non-custodial parent. It just means that the child resides with you primarily. The non-custodial parent will still often retain joint legal custody even if you have full child custody in the physical area. In addition, the non-custodial parent may still also have specific visitation rights that you must, by law, comply with even if you have full physical child custody.
    So - why is being a bad spouse SO BAD that you lose some of your parental rights? Lose the ability to make healthcare decisions for you child, education decisions and all that?

    Cheating sucks - it's painful - but it's not the worst thing you can do.

    Note where that quote says it's rarely granted and when it is it's done so because of convicted child abuse or endangerment.
    Last edited by Aunt Spiker; 11-10-12 at 11:01 PM.
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by ab9924 View Post
    But, isn't the husband and her child the same because it was her explicit choice to have both of them?
    The relationship you have with a romantic partner is dramatically different from the relationship you have with your child. They are two different people. There are too different dynamics. There are two different approaches required.
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by ab9924 View Post
    Should women be allowed custody of their children after they cheat on their husband, resulting in a divorce, where the husband demands full custody?
    There is a little bit of conflict in your op title and the poll question. As to the actual poll question, yes a woman should be able to contest for custody. Should she automatically get custody, because she is a woman? No.
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by ab9924 View Post
    Should women be allowed custody of their children after they cheat on their husband, resulting in a divorce, where the husband demands full custody?
    I find it odd that you restricted your poll to women only, and didn't use the word "parent" instead. May I presume that you do believe that cheating men should be allowed custody, regardless of their infidelity, and the "unfit cheating parent should lose custody" moniker belongs only on the mother?
    Last edited by DiAnna; 11-11-12 at 12:22 AM.

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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by Fisher View Post
    Custody Orders in my area almost always include a no unrelated overnight guest of the opposite sex while the children are in the house without the consent of the other parent provision that applies to both sides. That sort of negates the relevance of cheating going forward.
    That's not always strictly enforced as say, child support.
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  8. #28
    Educator / Liar Champion ab9924's Avatar
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    No - violating your marital bonds isn't the same as violating your bond with your child.

    And what is with this 2nd statement - "a child should not be assumed o receive an loyalty, support, and care from her, when examined in a court of law?"
    Do you think that if he gets full custody she won't care for her child? Or do you think if she gets full custody she won't care for her child? What exactly are you getting at with this, here? Why are you solely focused on 'sole custody' - MOST divorces involving children that aren't done for excessive reasons (abuse, drug addiction, etc) - SHARE custody. Neither parent gets 'full' custody.

    This is full custody here:


    So - why is being a bad spouse SO BAD that you lose some of your parental rights? Lose the ability to make healthcare decisions for you child, education decisions and all that?

    Cheating sucks - it's painful - but it's not the worst thing you can do.

    Note where that quote says it's rarely granted and when it is it's done so because of convicted child abuse or endangerment.
    Okay, I agree with half of your points, but ... if I understand it right, a woman chooses to marry a guy of her choice, in order to have children which is also her choice. Then, she chooses to cheat on her marriage. Then we start calling it justice in a custodial court of law, when she says, that "I chose this one at that time, then I chose against the next time, but I will not choose otherwise again" ... your quote about the standing judicial practice may be a proof of horrible double standards in divorce proceedings. Why is it that some people can just go and say whatever changing stories to any judge and they still get the benefit of the doubt, in some blind push for parental equality?

  9. #29
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by tessaesque View Post
    The relationship you have with a romantic partner is dramatically different from the relationship you have with your child. They are two different people. There are too different dynamics. There are two different approaches required.
    I agree with this 100 %. Because you used the word "romantic" without the word "contractual".

    I don't know, but I would imagine that romantism is only a part of the marriage, another part is your "contractual" obligations, which you can't back out of, because if you did, then you shouldn't have taken the romance as far as marriage. Right?

  10. #30
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie View Post
    There is a little bit of conflict in your op title and the poll question. As to the actual poll question, yes a woman should be able to contest for custody. Should she automatically get custody, because she is a woman? No.
    I agree that she should be able to contest custody. But her rights to do it should be reduced if she cheated in her marriage.

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