View Poll Results: Should cheating ex-wives be allowed to contest custody?

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  • Yes, custody is ex-wives' right, unconditionally.

    9 16.07%
  • No, by cheating, they reduced their rights, husband needs upper hand.

    12 21.43%
  • Other.

    35 62.50%
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Thread: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

  1. #91
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarcogito View Post
    I didn't say I would cheat on her. I said there were things that could make me leave her, i.e. get a divorce. One of those things that would make me leave her is infidelity on her part.

    But I have known men and women who were horrible spouses and were cheaters but were outstanding parents. I have known copules that were faithful to each other but were mediocre parents at best. Humans are complicated creatures. You can't fit them into cookie cutter molds.
    This is true about humans, and i won't try and argue that.

    I understood that you were saying you could think of many reasons why you would cheat on her. Was I wrong in that, or was that not what you had wrote?
    Last edited by Kr1ll1n; 11-12-12 at 12:23 AM. Reason: Change question mark to period.

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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    No - what it all boils down to is that you think cheating means they'er also a ****ty parent . . . and I don't think that's a determining factor.

    OTHER factors make you ****ty - but cheating itself . . . no, especially when most of it goes unknown and doesn't end marriages.

    Do you think a parent is ****ty if the marriage *doesn't end* (parent - not spouse - we've already established they're a bad spouse)
    Look, if you can't equate that cheating not only makes you a bad spouse, but considering the statistics, puts your child at risk to be less successful, prone to legal entanglements, as well as all other manners of life f*cked-up-edness, all because you risk putting them in a single parent situation, than why should I even bother responding?
    Last edited by Kr1ll1n; 11-12-12 at 12:24 AM.

  3. #93
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by Kr1ll1n View Post
    Look, if you can't equate that cheating not only makes you a bad spouse, but considering the statistics, puts your child at risk to be less successful, prone to legal entanglements, as well as all other manners of life f*cked-up-edness, all because you put them in a single parent situation, than why should I even bother responding?
    No - I'm not saying that it doesn't negative impact others if it leads to divorce.

    What I am saying is that I don't believe it equates to whipping your child half to death and then throwing them in the closet.
    Or burning them with cigarettes
    Or locking them in a cage
    Or handcuffing them to a bed
    Or sexually abusing them
    Or starving them
    Or abandoning them on the side of the road

    You think it does - I don't. You're pretending as if I'm writing it off as some sort of happy cake where everyones all happy and no one's hurt. . . which is tripe.
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    No - I'm not saying that it doesn't negative impact others if it leads to divorce.

    What I am saying is that I don't believe it equates to whipping your child half to death and then throwing them in the closet.
    Or burning them with cigarettes
    Or locking them in a cage
    Or handcuffing them to a bed
    Or sexually abusing them
    Or starving them
    Or abandoning them on the side of the road

    You think it does - I don't. You're pretending as if I'm writing it off as some sort of happy cake where everyones all happy and no one's hurt. . . which is tripe.
    All I am saying is, so far you have only given a reason to keep the cheater around because you don't want to separate them from the parental responsibilities.
    I have stated that they risked the child's future well-being already. Why would you want them around to do it again, other than to catch a break?

  5. #95
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by Kr1ll1n View Post
    All I am saying is, so far you have only given a reason to keep the cheater around because you don't want to separate them from the parental responsibilities.
    I have stated that they risked the child's future well-being already. Why would you want them around to do it again, other than to catch a break?
    No - no - you're just ignoring everything else I've said in this thread and latching onto that one post because I just recently put it up.

    Like I said in the beginning - it's circumstancial . . . other things would have to happen for it to be a consideration in my view. It's all circumstantial. Like many of us first stated - usually if someone cheats in a relationship there were other problems and the marriage was already rocky.

    Cheating isn't what breaks up the marraige - it's how they decide to handle it that might end the marriage. Many couples facing the situation DON'T DIVORCE - that is also their response.

    If cheating was the nail - then it would be the nail whether they stayed together or not. . . but it's not.

    Marriages end for all sorts of reasons - does that mean that one parent should always lose rights if they were somehow considered more at fault for the breakdown of the marriage?

    You're only looking at the worst-case scenarios and assuming that it always is like that - and it's not.
    Last edited by Aunt Spiker; 11-12-12 at 12:38 AM.
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    No - no - you're just ignoring everything else I've said in this thread and latching onto that one post because I just recently put it up.

    Like I said in the beginning - it's circumstancial . . . other things would have to happen for it to be a consideration in my view. It's all circumstantial. Like many of us first stated - usually if someone cheats in a relationship there were other problems and the marriage was already rocky.

    Cheating isn't what breaks up the marraige - it's how they decide to handle it that might end the marriage. Many couples facing the situation DON'T DIVORCE - that is also their response.

    If cheating was the nail - then it would be the nail whether they stayed together or not. . . but it's not.

    Marriages end for all sorts of reasons - does that mean that one parent should always lose rights if they were somehow considered more at fault for the breakdown of the marriage?
    I want to mull over everything but the first sentence for a bit. This is much more substantial. Thank you.

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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Also consider that if someone does something wrong - no matter how bad it is - that doesn't mean they're always going to be like that and will just repeat the behavior over and over.

    People can and do change - which is how my current marriage *didn't* fall apart years ago - we worked it out. I dont' think of my husband as any less of a parent and he doesn't think of me as any less of a parent even though we were separated for quite some time. Never in my life would I dream of taking our children away from him - even the boys from my first marriage.

    We handled things without making the situation even worse for the kids - I believe that others can do the same *if they chose to make the effort*

    Crappy decisions are made - it doesn't have to ruin everything.
    Divorces happen - and it isn't' fun, but it doesn't have to completely obliterate any sort of goodness.

    It's when the parents - divorce or stay together - turn into spiteful, hateful, ****ty people - and even take it out on the kids or fight al the time in front of the children . . . it's only when they can't handle it that things go ****hole.
    Last edited by Aunt Spiker; 11-12-12 at 12:44 AM.
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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    The kids, regardless of the gender, ought to go to the parent who can do the best job parenting them, with no gender or fault bias.

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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    What does sexual fidelity have to do with fitness to be a parent?
    Liberté. Égalité. Fraternité.

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    re: Should women be allowed custody? [W:124]

    Quote Originally Posted by Paschendale View Post
    What does sexual fidelity have to do with fitness to be a parent?
    'cause only ****ty parents cheat.

    and only good parents stay faithful.

    Causation and correlation.

    (sarcasm is heavy with this one)
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    It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now.
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