I don't think any of those choices would make someone the "crappiest" American. I would consider criminals, you know like murderers and stuff, to be the "crappiest Americans." I mean, come on, there are SO MANY worse things someone could do besides not vote or to vote strictly upon party lines.
Besides, if someone does not like any of the candidates, how can they just cast a vote and stay true to themselves. Are they expected to just vote for whoever just for the sake of voting even if they believe that none of the candidates are good for the country?
I think that not voting could be seen as a kind of protest of sorts against the crappiest candidates. Lol!