View Poll Results: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody rights?

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Thread: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody[W:56]

  1. #71
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    Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

    Quote Originally Posted by lpast View Post
    Theres no doubt...its even more evident and heart wrenching to see the aftermath of what they do...it HURTS to be around women that have been raped...it hurts to have to ask them to be specific...it hurts to look in their face...
    I had a work friend years ago that it happened to, she missed work for a week or so and was embarrassed. She only told me about it because she trusted me and it hurt me to hear what she was going through. It's a nasty thing.
    Neither side in an argument can find the truth when both make an absolute claim on it.

    LMR

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    Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

    Quote Originally Posted by Surtr View Post
    So she can relive a sexual assault every time she looks into her childs eyes? That sounds more like a depraved act of self-torture. If she wants to keep it, fine with me, but I'd have to consider the woman to be both mentally and emotionally unstable.
    I don't agree with that. If a woman feels it to be a moral obligation it's her choice it's not necessarily that anything is wrong with her but that she was dealt a horrible hand, and frankly I can respect the strength it would take to bear a child born under those circumstances.
    Neither side in an argument can find the truth when both make an absolute claim on it.

    LMR

  3. #73
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    Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

    Quote Originally Posted by LaMidRighter View Post
    I don't agree with that. If a woman feels it to be a moral obligation it's her choice it's not necessarily that anything is wrong with her but that she was dealt a horrible hand, and frankly I can respect the strength it would take to bear a child born under those circumstances.
    I don't see how any loving relationship can result from such a conception. The only justification I can see coming from it would be religious and ideological reasons concerning abortion, which I can not respect in such an instance.
    I love the NSA. It's like having a secret fan-base you will never see, but they're there, watching everything you write and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that I may be some person's only form of unconstitutional entertainment one night.

  4. #74
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    Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

    Quote Originally Posted by Surtr View Post
    I don't see how any loving relationship can result from such a conception. The only justification I can see coming from it would be religious and ideological reasons concerning abortion, which I can not respect in such an instance.
    Fair point. I think there are other moral values at play beyond religious and ideological though, and I think some people would not blame the child even though it would be concieved under detestable circumstances.
    Neither side in an argument can find the truth when both make an absolute claim on it.

    LMR

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    Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

    Quote Originally Posted by LaMidRighter View Post
    Fair point. I think there are other moral values at play beyond religious and ideological though, and I think some people would not blame the child even though it would be concieved under detestable circumstances.
    Rape is a life-changing traumatic event in a society such as ours. It's not healthy to want a child conceived through sexual assault, and those feelings will be projected onto the child by the mother, so two people end up being permanently damaged. One of them being a person who shouldn't exist in the first place.

    EDIT: But I will say that if she wants it, nobody should have the power to take that away from her. However, for her own sake, and the child's, the fetus should be aborted.
    I love the NSA. It's like having a secret fan-base you will never see, but they're there, watching everything you write and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that I may be some person's only form of unconstitutional entertainment one night.

  6. #76
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    Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

    Quote Originally Posted by Surtr View Post
    Rape is a life-changing traumatic event in a society such as ours. It's not healthy to want a child conceived through sexual assault, and those feelings will be projected onto the child by the mother, so two people end up being permanently damaged. One of them being a person who shouldn't exist in the first place.

    EDIT: But I will say that if she wants it, nobody should have the power to take that away from her. However, for her own sake, and the child's, the fetus should be aborted.
    I don't know about projection being an absolute, but it is a probability and that I can agree to. I would say that any woman in that situation would have to come to the carry/not carry decision with not only a heavy heart but a lot of introspection.
    Neither side in an argument can find the truth when both make an absolute claim on it.

    LMR

  7. #77
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    Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

    Quote Originally Posted by Dittohead not! View Post
    It's hard to believe even one state has such an absurd law, let along 31.
    Quote Originally Posted by radcen View Post
    No parental rights. That means no child support, either. Sorry, can't have it both ways. The exchange of money legitimizes the relationship. Pick one.
    It's a product of our society's obsessive preoccupation with biological parentage. The only man that should ever have custody and visitation rights to a child is the man that the mother offers the child to, and the only man that should ever be forced to pay child support is the man that has accepted the child. Anything else is an unconscionable violation of the moral prerogatives of free men and women to choose what is best for their families.

    Quote Originally Posted by Surtr View Post
    So she can relive a sexual assault every time she looks into her childs eyes? That sounds more like a depraved act of self-torture. If she wants to keep it, fine with me, but I'd have to consider the woman to be both mentally and emotionally unstable.
    I was going to come down on you a little harder, but your later comment has tempered my wrath-- I will say that this is an incredibly judgmental and just plain nasty thing to say, and I think quite frankly that you should be at least a little ashamed of yourself for having said it.

    Children are a blessing, and some people believe-- not without merit-- that salvaging a blessing from a tragedy is the highest expression of grace. I support the right of women to abort rape-babies, and mistake-babies, and even whoops-changed-my-mind babies... but being pro-choice also means respecting and affirming the decision to bear and keep those children.

    Quote Originally Posted by Surtr View Post
    I don't see how any loving relationship can result from such a conception. The only justification I can see coming from it would be religious and ideological reasons concerning abortion, which I can not respect in such an instance.
    Sometimes, it's just a matter of taking the lemons life has handed you and making sweet lemonade. It's not like most rape victims knew their attackers well enough-- and intimately enough-- that everything their child does is going to remind them of that thing that happened that one time. And I obviously don't know this from experience, but seems to me that most women have a hard time hating someone they spent nine months carrying inside them.

  8. #78
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    Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

    Quote Originally Posted by LaMidRighter View Post
    I had a work friend years ago that it happened to, she missed work for a week or so and was embarrassed. She only told me about it because she trusted me and it hurt me to hear what she was going through. It's a nasty thing.
    Some women are totally destroyed by it....I had a guy working for me...that came to me for advice..he had been lead investigator in a rape...no particulars but it was a vicious attack...the woman grabbed this cop...not sexually or anything like that she was over 20 yrs his junior..she was living in the city and had no one...no family here etc she was alone and scared to death...and he was asking me for permission to check on her night/day on duty or not....I told him...this conversation never happened and what I dont know doesnt hurt me...and I smiled at him...he knew what i was telling him..I couldnt give him an official ok...I was giving him a turned back...but that had its limits and he knew that...he had to stay in bounds....thats how deeply emotions can run even in cops for the victims of rape...the results are just pitiful and hurtful to see some times...even hardened prostitutes that are victims of violent rape more often than other groupings of women are totally broken down....its a vicious disgusting crime that ruins lives...

  9. #79
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    Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

    Quote Originally Posted by lpast View Post
    Some women are totally destroyed by it....I had a guy working for me...that came to me for advice..he had been lead investigator in a rape...no particulars but it was a vicious attack...the woman grabbed this cop...not sexually or anything like that she was over 20 yrs his junior..she was living in the city and had no one...no family here etc she was alone and scared to death...and he was asking me for permission to check on her night/day on duty or not....I told him...this conversation never happened and what I dont know doesnt hurt me...and I smiled at him...he knew what i was telling him..I couldnt give him an official ok...I was giving him a turned back...but that had its limits and he knew that...he had to stay in bounds....thats how deeply emotions can run even in cops for the victims of rape...the results are just pitiful and hurtful to see some times...even hardened prostitutes that are victims of violent rape more often than other groupings of women are totally broken down....its a vicious disgusting crime that ruins lives...
    I truly feel for police who have to deal with that, I only know of one rape and that was BAD. I can't imagine having to hear that more than once.
    Neither side in an argument can find the truth when both make an absolute claim on it.

    LMR

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    Re: If a man fathers a child through rape, should he have visitation or custody right

    Quote Originally Posted by Viktyr Korimir View Post
    Sometimes, it's just a matter of taking the lemons life has handed you and making sweet lemonade. It's not like most rape victims knew their attackers well enough-- and intimately enough-- that everything their child does is going to remind them of that thing that happened that one time. And I obviously don't know this from experience, but seems to me that most women have a hard time hating someone they spent nine months carrying inside them.
    I would hardly call the result of a very cruel assault a "lemon".
    I love the NSA. It's like having a secret fan-base you will never see, but they're there, watching everything you write and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that I may be some person's only form of unconstitutional entertainment one night.

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