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Stay at home dads.

Is it acceptable for the man to stay at home raising the kids while the woman works?

  • Yes it is acceptable for the man to stay at home raising the kids.

    Votes: 74 96.1%

  • No, the man that stays at home while the woman works is a lazy bum!

    Votes: 3 3.9%
  • Total voters
    77
Kal'Stang

Kal'Stang

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Sorry if this is in the wrong area as I'm not sure if it is political enough but I did want it to be a poll so this seems the logical place to put it. Feel free to move it to an appropriate section if you think it doesn't belong here. :)

I often hear people say that it is perfectly legitimate for the woman to stay at home raising the kids while the man goes off to work. While at the same time I hear people say that it is wrong for the man to stay at home raising the kids while the woman works.

What do you think? Is it acceptable for the man to stay at home raising the kids while the woman works? Or is the man just a lazy bum (a phrase that I hear often when refering to stay at home dads) that should get off his butt and get a job?
 
It is certainly acceptable for the man to stay at home. He should not be looked down in any way. It makes good sense if she has a career and they don't want others raising their children.
 
Of course. It's silly to think otherwise.
 
Yes, if that is what the couple decides works best for them. Why is he a lazy bum? Someone has to do it. It either has to be one of them, or someone from outside. Is a woman a "lazy bum" if she stays home?
 
Yeah sure, why not?
 
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I know a couple of stay at home dads and don't think any lesser of them. I actually applaud them for going against the mainstream for what is best for their family!
 
I don't really care either way. I've met guys who make better moms than alot of women do, and I've met women who make great moms too. Personally? Since I'm from an older generation, alot of my own views probably hinge on my conditioning, but I also have strong maternal instincts, so if it was me, making this decision for myself, I'd deff want to stay home with the kids and have the old man bring home the bacon. ;)
 
My father was a stay at home dad who I thought was a lazy sob when I was growing up (he was pretty lazy). But the reason for him staying home was because my mother could not handle my autistic brother. Now that he ifs out of my parents house living witha roomate and caretakers he has a job. So no its not wrong; however, I do believe that if you're family is border line poor both parents have an obligation to work to prevent the kids from suffering

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xpiher said:
My father was a stay at home dad who I thought was a lazy sob when I was growing up (he was pretty lazy). But the reason for him staying home was because my mother could not handle my autistic brother. Now that he ifs out of my parents house living witha roomate and caretakers he has a job. So no its not wrong; however, I do believe that if you're family is border line poor both parents have an obligation to work to prevent the kids from suffering

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Hmm...I would think that being poor would be a good reason to have one of the parents stay at home. Especially considering daycare prices. And not everyone has family to turn to...or may have family, just not good family.
 
Kal'Stang said:
Hmm...I would think that being poor would be a good reason to have one of the parents stay at home. Especially considering daycare prices. And not everyone has family to turn to...or may have family, just not good family.
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Exactly what I was thinking. Day care is prohibitively expensive these days, and depending on one's job skills, a family might be better off financially for one parent to stay home.
 
It's acceptable if that's what works for that particular family.
 
I was a stay at home dad for about a year while I waited to be eligible for in state tuition.
 
There is nothing lazy about staying home and raising a child. In fact, it is the toughest, most important and most rewarding job I have ever had.
 
it's not for me to judge what is best, in terms of work arrangements, for a particular family...it's not for any of us to judge.
 
What does being poor have to do with kids suffering. There are plenty of kids that have grown up poor and had a great childhood. There are plenty of kids that grew up rich and had a horrible childhood.

Many of the sahm's I know are clipping coupons, shopping at thrift stores, ect because it is a sacrafice for them to stay home. Not everyone values a large house, the latest in technology, new cars, elaborate vacations , ect. Some value being at home with their kids and being the one who raises them. I really think that "most" people could live off of one income if they just lived without some of these luxuries.
 
Anniegetyourgun said:
What does being poor have to do with kids suffering. There are plenty of kids that have grown up poor and had a great childhood. There are plenty of kids that grew up rich and had a horrible childhood.

Many of the sahm's I know are clipping coupons, shopping at thrift stores, ect because it is a sacrafice for them to stay home. Not everyone values a large house, the latest in technology, new cars, elaborate vacations , ect. Some value being at home with their kids and being the one who raises them. I really think that "most" people could live off of one income if they just lived without some of these luxuries.
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You may have a point here. There really are a lot of families who could make-do on one paycheck. You don't really need a tricked-out truck, for example. On the other hand, braces are a luxury, and if your kid has crooked teeth, a second income can provide the wherewithall.
 
nota bene said:
You may have a point here. There really are a lot of families who could make-do on one paycheck. You don't really need a tricked-out truck, for example. On the other hand, braces are a luxury, and if your kid has crooked teeth, a second income can provide the wherewithall.
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I'm not sure if braces are a luxury anymore. Particularly in a work place where half the time an employer will base on whether they hire you or not on your appearance. Our society values how good a person looks more than qualifications half the time.
 
Sure I did it myself for a while when I hsd a home-based business.
 
Sure, it's fine. No biggie.

Oddly enough, I can't recall ever having met a stay at home Dad. Maybe it's because they're all at home.
 
Anniegetyourgun said:
What does being poor have to do with kids suffering. There are plenty of kids that have grown up poor and had a great childhood. There are plenty of kids that grew up rich and had a horrible childhood.

Many of the sahm's I know are clipping coupons, shopping at thrift stores, ect because it is a sacrafice for them to stay home. Not everyone values a large house, the latest in technology, new cars, elaborate vacations , ect. Some value being at home with their kids and being the one who raises them. I really think that "most" people could live off of one income if they just lived without some of these luxuries.
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True! We lived on my husbands income the first 13 yrs, and got by just fine. We have more than 2 kids so I know it's possible. We didn't have to give up cable or cell, and our kids always looked decent and had the game systems like everyone else. It's all on how you budget, and look at things.

Now I work, and work more hours than hubby, but b/c of my work scedule I still have time with my kids after school and weekends. I love my job, but I sacrificed To get here!
 
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In answer to the question;
No, a man is not lazy if he stays home. He should be a role model for al the dead beat dads out there.
However I still believe MOST men would have a complex staying home while their wife brought it in.... particularly alpha males!
 
Apparently there is 1 person so far who has a problem with this. I was expecting there to be more.
 
In an economy like we have at present many men are forced to be stay at home dad's and the good part is they get to spend some time with their kids. Dad's that choose to not work and be Mr mom are another breed altogether. They set a bad example for their kids. The girls will think of men as effeminate lazy wusses and the boys will have a horrible role model, they will both end up as scarred adults. Dad's set examples and I remember mine coming home dead ass tired,dirty and looking like he had done an honest days work. I wanted to grow up and be just like him. What do sons of Mr mom aspire to, a nice apron, a new cook book, a better vacuum cleaner? SHEEEESH, get a job!
 
I have to give a guy credit for being the stay at home parent. He is bucking the system and being visible to his children. The kids get a look at dad in roles dad's aren't seen in. The children benefit by seeing more possibilities in life than what society tells them is the norm. Big thumbs up to dad doing this.
 
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