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Stay at home dads.

Is it acceptable for the man to stay at home raising the kids while the woman works?

  • Yes it is acceptable for the man to stay at home raising the kids.

    Votes: 74 96.1%

  • No, the man that stays at home while the woman works is a lazy bum!

    Votes: 3 3.9%
  • Total voters
    77
katiegrrl0 said:
I have to give a guy credit for being the stay at home parent. He is bucking the system and being visible to his children. The kids get a look at dad in roles dad's aren't seen in. The children benefit by seeing more possibilities in life than what society tells them is the norm. Big thumbs up to dad doing this.
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I wish there was a don't like button, LOL
 
I'm not sure I'd agree with the "lazy bum" part; but the man who stays home with the kids while his wife goes to work is definitely not masculine or very "male" in my view. They also contributing to two of the major problems in our country these days.... A lack of acceptance of proper gender roles and failing to teach our children the proper way society is supposed to work.
 
Ok, who didn't see that coming?

Proper roles is very subjective, and some of the 'propers' are quite dated, like women submitting to their husbands, can't inherit, sign for a loan, vote, decide when to have babies....
 
Kal'Stang said:
I'm not sure if braces are a luxury anymore. Particularly in a work place where half the time an employer will base on whether they hire you or not on your appearance. Our society values how good a person looks more than qualifications half the time.
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Steve Buscemi has said that dentists have offered to fix his teeth for free. He always refuses. He says his teeth are a huge part of his acting meal ticket.

An exception to the rule, of course. :cool:
 
The notion that men are lazy or whatever for being SAHDs is more an attitude from older generations.

Where I DO think we lose something, as both individual families and as a society, is in losing so many single-working households. I do think that kids, in general, do better when one parent is a stay-at-home parent, though I don't think *which* parent is necessarily critical. (Single-parent household cannot do this, I know)

The cost of living has risen over the decades, sure, but I think a large part of the problem is our own individual priorities. We put ourselves in the position of "needing" to have both parents work. The McMansion. The huge $35K pick-up when a simple pick-up at half the price... or even a 3 yr old pick-up at half of that... would do just fine. A boat that sits for 355 days a year. The question is: Is the trade-off worth it?
 
Kal'Stang said:
Sorry if this is in the wrong area as I'm not sure if it is political enough but I did want it to be a poll so this seems the logical place to put it. Feel free to move it to an appropriate section if you think it doesn't belong here. :)

I often hear people say that it is perfectly legitimate for the woman to stay at home raising the kids while the man goes off to work. While at the same time I hear people say that it is wrong for the man to stay at home raising the kids while the woman works.

What do you think? Is it acceptable for the man to stay at home raising the kids while the woman works? Or is the man just a lazy bum (a phrase that I hear often when refering to stay at home dads) that should get off his butt and get a job?
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Yes, it's perfectly acceptable. Time we stopped treating dads like second-class parents...in divorce/custody cases and in every other aspect.

PS: You can put a poll in any forum. It's at the bottom when you Post New Thread.
 
Nothing wrong with stay at home fathers. That said, I think mothers tend to be the better nurturers. If I could, I would have liked a stay at home wife.
 
Blue Dog said:
Nothing wrong with stay at home fathers. That said, I think mothers tend to be the better nurturers. If I could, I would have liked a stay at home wife.
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Well, we do think they are, but that's not necessarily true.

We "consumers" have given up a great deal in our lives. It used to be that a gal graduated from high school or college, worked a few years and saved her money, got married and stayed home to raise her children. Now, our demand for goods has pushed the cost of living so high that it's awfully hard to get by on one income. Maybe it'll come around full circle.
 
sawyerloggingon said:
In an economy like we have at present many men are forced to be stay at home dad's and the good part is they get to spend some time with their kids. Dad's that choose to not work and be Mr mom are another breed altogether. They set a bad example for their kids. The girls will think of men as effeminate lazy wusses and the boys will have a horrible role model, they will both end up as scarred adults. Dad's set examples and I remember mine coming home dead ass tired,dirty and looking like he had done an honest days work. I wanted to grow up and be just like him. What do sons of Mr mom aspire to, a nice apron, a new cook book, a better vacuum cleaner? SHEEEESH, get a job!
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Tigger said:
I'm not sure I'd agree with the "lazy bum" part; but the man who stays home with the kids while his wife goes to work is definitely not masculine or very "male" in my view. They also contributing to two of the major problems in our country these days.... A lack of acceptance of proper gender roles and failing to teach our children the proper way society is supposed to work.
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You guys really have no clue what it takes to be a father do you? It takes a real man to do house work. Those wannabe pansies are too insecure of their masculinity to do house work. A real father will not care what their buddies think as long their children get the best possible care possible. Daycare is not going to teach anything about masculinity. And staying at home taking care of children does not mean that you cannot still work. Both of you sound like you have no clue what you are talking about.

The proper roll is that parents take care of their children, not pawn them of on someone else for a price.
 
FreedomFromAll said:
You guys really have no clue what it takes to be a father do you? It takes a real man to do house work. Those wannabe pansies are too insecure of their masculinity to do house work. A real father will not care what their buddies think as long their children get the best possible care possible. Daycare is not going to teach anything about masculinity. And staying at home taking care of children does not mean that you cannot still work. Both of you sound like you have no clue what you are talking about.

The proper roll is that parents take care of their children, not pawn them of on someone else for a price.
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So Mr mom, what is your favorite soap opera? You can kid yourself all you want but as your kids grow older and their friends talk about what their dad's do, your kids will be embarrassed to talk about you. Both my parents worked and I was put in day care, they called it nursery school then. I had a great time and learned to be independent at 3 years old, even then there were bullies that tried to take your toy. I remember my dad saying if that punk tries to take your toy again hit him over the GD head with it, he did, I did, end of bully problem, beginning of life in the real world. Thanks dad
 
sawyerloggingon said:
So Mr mom, what is your favorite soap opera? You can kid yourself all you want but as your kids grow older and their friends talk about what their dad's do, your kids will be embarrassed to talk about you. Both my parents worked and I was put in day care, they called it nursery school then. I had a great time and learned to be independent at 3 years old, even then there were bullies that tried to take your toy. I remember my dad saying if that punk tries to take your toy again hit him over the GD head with it, he did, I did, end of bully problem, beginning of life in the real world. Thanks dad
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Assumptions, assumptions. Yup I still think that you are clueless. The fact that you believe that someone children will be embarrassed by their father actually being around to teach them about the world and care for them shows that you missed out on some parenting and are making excuses.

BTW while being a stay home Dad I have paid for my house. No more house payments because ya know I worked my ass off to buy my home. In fact I am only taking a much needed break from working this morning. lol I got the kids to school on time and I am already finished with a couple orders. Well anyways back to the grinding stone (ha literally I need a few new carving knives) Have fun pretending to be a man.
 
Well it is good to see attitudes on this subject changing. Its also good to see some fellow stay at home dads. :)
 
FreedomFromAll said:
Assumptions, assumptions. Yup I still think that you are clueless. The fact that you believe that someone children will be embarrassed by their father actually being around to teach them about the world and care for them shows that you missed out on some parenting and are making excuses.

BTW while being a stay home Dad I have paid for my house. No more house payments because ya know I worked my ass off to buy my home. In fact I am only taking a much needed break from working this morning. lol I got the kids to school on time and I am already finished with a couple orders. Well anyways back to the grinding stone (ha literally I need a few new carving knives) Have fun pretending to be a man.
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Geeez buddy, no reason to get all hysterical, sounds to me like you work from home, the point is you work.
 
I did not vote as some stay at home parents are awesome and some are rather lazy. It is not related to gender.

If a couple decides that one member of the couple has earning power and they decided it should be the dad who stays at home that is their business.

If either gender of the couple give up earning power ... they should be valued for their contribution to the hours of the art of housekeeping, shopping and child rearing and managing finances etc.

I scaled back earning power for about ten years for the health and prosperity of my family. That is when I contributed the most hours to my family. Now I am back on the career track. I like all phases and realized you can do it all ... just maybe not all at once.

Each couple has to decide what works.
 
If the parents both decide that it's best for the family for dad to stay home with the kids, it's perfectly fine. If the parents both decide that it's best for the family for mom to stay home with the kids, it's perfectly fine. If the parents both decide that it's best for the family for both parents to work and put the kids in daycare, it's perfectly fine.

I'm surprised this is even an issue. :)
 
Kal'Stang said:
Sorry if this is in the wrong area as I'm not sure if it is political enough but I did want it to be a poll so this seems the logical place to put it. Feel free to move it to an appropriate section if you think it doesn't belong here. :)

I often hear people say that it is perfectly legitimate for the woman to stay at home raising the kids while the man goes off to work. While at the same time I hear people say that it is wrong for the man to stay at home raising the kids while the woman works.

What do you think? Is it acceptable for the man to stay at home raising the kids while the woman works? Or is the man just a lazy bum (a phrase that I hear often when refering to stay at home dads) that should get off his butt and get a job?
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If the woman is the bread winner then sure it is acceptable for the man to stay at home.If one partner makes enough to support the whole family then it doesn't make any sense for both people to work.
 
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Kal'Stang said:
Sorry if this is in the wrong area as I'm not sure if it is political enough but I did want it to be a poll so this seems the logical place to put it. Feel free to move it to an appropriate section if you think it doesn't belong here. :)

I often hear people say that it is perfectly legitimate for the woman to stay at home raising the kids while the man goes off to work. While at the same time I hear people say that it is wrong for the man to stay at home raising the kids while the woman works.

What do you think? Is it acceptable for the man to stay at home raising the kids while the woman works? Or is the man just a lazy bum (a phrase that I hear often when refering to stay at home dads) that should get off his butt and get a job?
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It depends. ONE parent SHOULD stay home with the kids until they're school age at least (if possible).... if Mama makes more money maybe it makes sense for Dad to stay home. Or in some cases Mama just may not be a very good childrearer (some women aren't) and Daddy is just better at it.

Short version: Not my business, do your thing.
 
Kal'Stang said:
Sorry if this is in the wrong area as I'm not sure if it is political enough but I did want it to be a poll so this seems the logical place to put it. Feel free to move it to an appropriate section if you think it doesn't belong here. :)

I often hear people say that it is perfectly legitimate for the woman to stay at home raising the kids while the man goes off to work. While at the same time I hear people say that it is wrong for the man to stay at home raising the kids while the woman works.

What do you think? Is it acceptable for the man to stay at home raising the kids while the woman works? Or is the man just a lazy bum (a phrase that I hear often when refering to stay at home dads) that should get off his butt and get a job?
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I think it's perfectly acceptable, but I, personally, would rather be beaten with a pillowcase full of spent batteries than take care of children all day. I like my nice, clean, child-free office.
 
In our circle of friends there is a stay at home dad. When we go to party's he ends up with the women talking about kids instead of with the men talking about everything else, I find it kind of weird. I tried talking to him once about something and as his eyes glazed over some woman walked by with a baby and he just sorta walked off and started talking to her.Takes all kinds I guess.
 
My keyboard player's wife landed a fat job at a huge lawfirm that pays her boo-koo bucks. They bought 2 new cars and an awesome house. He then quit his measley 62k a year job to stay at home and raise their two daughters. He is Mr. Mom and has dinner ready for Mama when she gets home each evening to their sparkling house. He's awesome at that role and they are one big happy family. He and his wife are talking about having another baby. They are an awesome couple with an awesome family. It's the perfect set-up.
 
FreedomFromAll said:
You guys really have no clue what it takes to be a father do you? It takes a real man to do house work. Those wannabe pansies are too insecure of their masculinity to do house work. A real father will not care what their buddies think as long their children get the best possible care possible. Daycare is not going to teach anything about masculinity. And staying at home taking care of children does not mean that you cannot still work. Both of you sound like you have no clue what you are talking about.

The proper roll is that parents take care of their children, not pawn them of on someone else for a price.
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A house divided against itself cannot stand, Freedom. One cannot put 100% into raising a child AND 100% into doing something else (like a career). Unless you're a siamese twin, that's 200% and it just doesn't work. I'm not suggesting that you pawn your kid off on the daycare industry. I'm suggesting that the proper parent stay home with the children and raise them.
 
Tigger said:
A house divided against itself cannot stand, Freedom. One cannot put 100% into raising a child AND 100% into doing something else (like a career). Unless you're a siamese twin, that's 200% and it just doesn't work. I'm not suggesting that you pawn your kid off on the daycare industry. I'm suggesting that the proper parent stay home with the children and raise them.
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Tigger it is called balance, not 200%.
 
Connery said:
Tigger it is called balance, not 200%.
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Ok, so you think you can get away with being a 50% parent and a 50% employee/businessman. I know what would happen to me if I only gave 50% at my job and I think we're seeing the societal results of people only giving 50% to their kids at this point in time as well.
 
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