Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

obvious Child said:

True, but financial picture has always played some role.

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I would look at it much less in terms of "financial picture" and more in terms of "financial habits". I wouldn't mind marrying someone who was dirt poor, or who had student loans - hell, we were both dirt poor. But if it's obvious that she is a credit-card-shopping-addict, then I'm only setting myself up for failure.

If someone wants to evaluate a personal mate based on their income, then that's up to them. I think it's just common sense to evaluate a person's ability to provide for themselves, their spouse, and any potential children that might come along. Expecting much more than that though is a bit shallow in my opinion.

MaggieD said:

I'm having a hard time coming up with when judging a person's wealth would be acceptable -- or, more importantly, even make any sense.

If you're young getting married, or older and getting married for, maybe, the second time: the more important criterion is, "Do we have the same values about money?" Get mixed up with someone who doesn't, and I can promise you years of tears.

Even Bill Gates was once a poor college student...

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I think the biggest motive right now is a poor, uncertain economy.... and some people prefer to feel secure having a lot of money to spend over feeling they love their partner. It's basically selfishness.

I only really know one real golddigger, and she's in her 30s... dates men much, much older than her and they have a lot of money. I think she's that way because she grew up in a family that had a lot of money, and she was basically spoiled. She wants to spend money, but she doesn't want to work for it.

She is one of the laziest ****ing people I know, and yet she is so damn snobby because she has expensive clothing, jewelry, gets botox, plastic surgery, etc.

She is one of the most immature people I know, and I honestly think she has some serious emotional and/or mental problems. I think these old guys are basically using her. They spend a lot of money on her sometimes and take her on nice trips and vacations, which she loves to brag about... one of her old men even had a private jet of some kind. But she's been seriously disrespected by a lot of them... and she won't date a guy her own age just because of money. I think her golddigging is probably depressing her and causing her a lot of grief, but she has nice clothes and gets botox regularly without working for it... :shrug: .

Luna Tick said:

Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

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Acceptable to whom?

Luna Tick said:

Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

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How one handles money is certainly an indicator of their character, sure, but merely the net bottom-line figure gives only a splinter of the story.

digsbe said:

I think it's fine if by evaluating someone's potential as a spouse means looking at them to see if they can provide for a family. Being able to financially support a family is something crucial to discuss and think about before getting married.

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In my case, she would be looking to make sure I already had my children set up, and that she would be stuck paying for someone else's kids.

I do not judge a woman by how much money she has. I consider it a crutch if she was born rich, because most of well off girls don't have a mind of their own and have no real life coping skills if suddenly found in a situation where her connections couldn't help her.

I personalty judge a woman by how she carries herself. I also like a woman who can stand to be completely independent, a woman who would date for companionship instead of sex or money. She wouldn't need you to survive but someone to share life experiences with.

Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

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If there is love - no, if there isn't love - yes.