View Poll Results: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

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  • I'm male and find that acceptable.

    14 53.85%
  • I'm male and find that unacceptable.

    7 26.92%
  • I'm female and find that acceptable.

    2 7.69%
  • I'm female and find that unacceptable.

    3 11.54%
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Thread: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

  1. #21
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Tick View Post
    Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?
    it depends - how old is the person and what does their current wealth say about them.

  2. #22
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Tick View Post
    Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?
    It's entirely acceptable to judge a potential mate on any criterion that you think might matter to you.

    In general, women are biologically programmed to seek mates who have traits that indicate an ability to protect and provide for them, and any children that may result. These traits certainly include wealth, intelligence, strength, and power.

    Men are generally programmed, similarly, to seek out mates who have traits that indicate abilities to bear and care for children.

    These are the traits that give the best chance of producing offspring, and having those offspring grow up to produce further offspring; thus these are the traits that are favored by natural selection.
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    We can be Godless and free. • “Social justice” through forced redistribution of wealth. • Silencing religious opinions counts as “diversity”. • Freedom without moral and personal responsibility. • Civilization can survive the intentional undermining of the family.

  3. #23
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kandahar View Post
    How long have you been dating? If it's not in a relationship that's clearly leading to engagement/marriage, that seems pretty paranoid to run a financial background check. Personally, I think that that kind of an invasion of privacy would actually be a bigger problem than the fact that he might care about your money habits. I guess I can understand if he was about to pop the question, to make sure he knows what he's getting himself into...but even then it seems like doing it without your knowledge/permission probably wouldn't be the best way of approaching the situation.

    But that's just me. Personally when I'm dating someone I don't really care about her wealth or income, but I would care if she wasn't responsible with money...at least if I was going to marry her.
    On the contrary, if I were to ever do a background check on a girl (not that I would), it'd be probably a month or two after I started dating that girl. Better to find out if she's in over her head in debt before I get serious with someone than to get very attached to a girl and then learn that, were I to marry said girl, I'd be marrying into a life of debt driven poverty. Why get attached to the person first?

    To address the OP, I voted yes, but I think It's only really acceptable when assessing's someone level of debt rather than level of income, more because I think someone's spending habits are more important than their ability to make money, and more telling of their personality.

  4. #24
    Stigmatized! End R Word! Kali's Avatar
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Tick View Post
    The reason I'm wondering is I've learned the man I'm dating has done a financial background check on me without my knowledge. I would have answered any of his questions if he had asked. I haven't spoken with him since I found out and am trying to make sense of this.
    I would be upset over that..
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  5. #25
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Tick View Post
    The reason I'm wondering is I've learned the man I'm dating has done a financial background check on me without my knowledge. I would have answered any of his questions if he had asked. I haven't spoken with him since I found out and am trying to make sense of this.
    Immediate grounds for telling someone to go where the sun don't shine imo. Main reason being that he did this without even getting permission to do so. This shows to me a tendency to be dishonest.

    As to the OP. I don't care how a person handles thier money. Its how they are as a person that matters to me. IE intelligent and kind.
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  6. #26
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by obvious Child View Post
    True, but financial picture has always played some role.
    I would look at it much less in terms of "financial picture" and more in terms of "financial habits". I wouldn't mind marrying someone who was dirt poor, or who had student loans - hell, we were both dirt poor. But if it's obvious that she is a credit-card-shopping-addict, then I'm only setting myself up for failure.
    Last edited by cpwill; 10-30-11 at 06:01 AM.

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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    If someone wants to evaluate a personal mate based on their income, then that's up to them. I think it's just common sense to evaluate a person's ability to provide for themselves, their spouse, and any potential children that might come along. Expecting much more than that though is a bit shallow in my opinion.
    If you build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day.

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  8. #28
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by MaggieD View Post
    I'm having a hard time coming up with when judging a person's wealth would be acceptable -- or, more importantly, even make any sense.

    If you're young getting married, or older and getting married for, maybe, the second time: the more important criterion is, "Do we have the same values about money?" Get mixed up with someone who doesn't, and I can promise you years of tears.

    Even Bill Gates was once a poor college student...
    I think the biggest motive right now is a poor, uncertain economy.... and some people prefer to feel secure having a lot of money to spend over feeling they love their partner. It's basically selfishness.

    I only really know one real golddigger, and she's in her 30s... dates men much, much older than her and they have a lot of money. I think she's that way because she grew up in a family that had a lot of money, and she was basically spoiled. She wants to spend money, but she doesn't want to work for it.

    She is one of the laziest ****ing people I know, and yet she is so damn snobby because she has expensive clothing, jewelry, gets botox, plastic surgery, etc.

    She is one of the most immature people I know, and I honestly think she has some serious emotional and/or mental problems. I think these old guys are basically using her. They spend a lot of money on her sometimes and take her on nice trips and vacations, which she loves to brag about... one of her old men even had a private jet of some kind. But she's been seriously disrespected by a lot of them... and she won't date a guy her own age just because of money. I think her golddigging is probably depressing her and causing her a lot of grief, but she has nice clothes and gets botox regularly without working for it... .

  9. #29
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Tick View Post
    Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?
    Acceptable to whom?

  10. #30
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Tick View Post
    Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?
    How one handles money is certainly an indicator of their character, sure, but merely the net bottom-line figure gives only a splinter of the story.

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