View Poll Results: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

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  • I'm male and find that acceptable.

    14 53.85%
  • I'm male and find that unacceptable.

    7 26.92%
  • I'm female and find that acceptable.

    2 7.69%
  • I'm female and find that unacceptable.

    3 11.54%
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Thread: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

  1. #11
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Tick View Post
    The reason I'm wondering is I've learned the man I'm dating has done a financial background check on me without my knowledge. I would have answered any of his questions if he had asked. I haven't spoken with him since I found out and am trying to make sense of this.
    maybe he is seeking a possible long term relationship with you and making sure you are not one of these-
    Attached Images Attached Images Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?-gold-digger-magnet-jpg 
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Yes. If it is important to you, then by all means use it. I think most will find they are happier with someone that mesh with, but if you are someone that absolutely has to have a certain life style, then go for it.
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  3. #13
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Tick View Post
    The reason I'm wondering is I've learned the man I'm dating has done a financial background check on me without my knowledge. I would have answered any of his questions if he had asked. I haven't spoken with him since I found out and am trying to make sense of this.
    Oooooo! I did that with Tom, too. We've been together 12 years...extremely happily, I might add. We're not married, so it wasn't the "usual" reasons, since I never planned to. But one can tell a great deal about a person by checking their credit....including whether or not they have $30,000 in credit card debt. If they married? That becomes his. IRS liens? His problem as much as his spouse's. I would absolutely not have trusted him/her/you to tell me the truth. It's too big a deal these days. Also, one spouse's bad credit...student loans...credit card balance etc. can prevent both of them from buying a home...getting a mortgage.

    I get it now. I might be pissed that he didn't tell me first, because, actually, I think it might be illegal for an individual to check someone's credit without their knowledge. But I'd get over it as it would tell me he's a responsible guy who trusts yet verifies.
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  4. #14
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Tick View Post
    Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    The fact of the matter is, for many women their financial future still depends to a large degree on their husband.

    I didn't say all; there are many exceptions. But for a lot of women, possibly even the majority, the husband is likely to be the biggest earner and whether she and her children live in poverty or comfort will depend on him.

    Reason? Simply that many women put children ahead of career. That's fine: somebody needs to put the children first, by golly (one or the other, I don't care, but it is most often the woman). Many women don't work when their children are small (<5) and many more work only part-time when their children are in school. Even those who work full time often suffer frequent absences from work due to the needs of the children, tend to avoid overtime and business travel and those other extras that have a lot to do with earnings and promotions.

    Thus, it is still more commonplace for the man to be the primary financial provider. Therefore, it makes perfect sense for most women to evaluate a mate in part on his ability to provide.

    Hopefully that won't be the ONLY thing she's looking at... but having it be one consideration is certainly no worse than criteria we men often filter for (her boobs are too small, she's overweight, she isn't very pretty, etc).

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  5. #15
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Tick View Post
    Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?
    Isn't this how it's always been?
    "If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him." - Sun Tzu

  6. #16
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by obvious Child View Post
    Isn't this how it's always been?
    Not so much for men, who tend to use physical appearance as a more important measure
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  7. #17
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Tammerlain View Post
    Not so much for men, who tend to use physical appearance as a more important measure
    True, but financial picture has always played some role.
    "If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him." - Sun Tzu

  8. #18
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Tick View Post
    The reason I'm wondering is I've learned the man I'm dating has done a financial background check on me without my knowledge. I would have answered any of his questions if he had asked. I haven't spoken with him since I found out and am trying to make sense of this.
    How long have you been dating? If it's not in a relationship that's clearly leading to engagement/marriage, that seems pretty paranoid to run a financial background check. Personally, I think that that kind of an invasion of privacy would actually be a bigger problem than the fact that he might care about your money habits. I guess I can understand if he was about to pop the question, to make sure he knows what he's getting himself into...but even then it seems like doing it without your knowledge/permission probably wouldn't be the best way of approaching the situation.

    But that's just me. Personally when I'm dating someone I don't really care about her wealth or income, but I would care if she wasn't responsible with money...at least if I was going to marry her.
    Last edited by Kandahar; 10-29-11 at 09:48 PM.
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    I would never be with someone just because of their wealth, or dump someone just because of their lack of money.
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  10. #20
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    Re: Is it acceptable to evaluate a potential mate based on the person's wealth?

    Quote Originally Posted by obvious Child View Post
    Isn't this how it's always been?
    wealth and power are huge aphrodisiacs. Ever seen Henry Kissinger's second wife? Or the hottie Billy Joel was once married to?



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