- Joined
- Oct 20, 2009
- Messages
- 28,431
- Reaction score
- 16,990
- Location
- Sasnakra
- Gender
- Female
- Political Leaning
- Moderate
You know, though - sometimes women don't have a say on things, either - when it comes to the financial aspect of having a child.
I, for example, battled the state for a ridiculously long time to end my ex husband's child support garnishments. Once I married and my husband wanted to adopt the boys I saw it as an ethical wrong to still garnish support. The state, however, blunted to a 'it's for the kids - you can't say "no" even if you want to.' stance on the issue. They wouldn't let me end garnishment.
When my husband officially adopted the boys they finally ended concurrent garnishment (which is what adds up each month) but wouldn't end arrears: they were still garnishing his wages to pay those off. So then I had to argue with them some more -a nd they still said 'no, not even if you want to end it - unless a judge says you can.' So we put in for another court-hearing on that, the judge denied it (which was absurd).
So I started to just send the money back to him and his family each month - that was less of a headache that pressing the courts and legal system again for something - in my view - should never have been a hassle. The children were being taken care of adequately - I should have been able to end the garnishments of his pay when I wanted to.
I, for example, battled the state for a ridiculously long time to end my ex husband's child support garnishments. Once I married and my husband wanted to adopt the boys I saw it as an ethical wrong to still garnish support. The state, however, blunted to a 'it's for the kids - you can't say "no" even if you want to.' stance on the issue. They wouldn't let me end garnishment.
When my husband officially adopted the boys they finally ended concurrent garnishment (which is what adds up each month) but wouldn't end arrears: they were still garnishing his wages to pay those off. So then I had to argue with them some more -a nd they still said 'no, not even if you want to end it - unless a judge says you can.' So we put in for another court-hearing on that, the judge denied it (which was absurd).
So I started to just send the money back to him and his family each month - that was less of a headache that pressing the courts and legal system again for something - in my view - should never have been a hassle. The children were being taken care of adequately - I should have been able to end the garnishments of his pay when I wanted to.