Has it occurred to you they lie because they know you're going to freak out and tighten the noose?
I never lied to my dad about anything even vaguely important. His general tactic was "advise and permit." There were rules, and I got punished for breaking them, but there weren't a huge number of them, and some of them could be waived for certain circumstances if I talked to him first. But as far as general life milestones go, "advise and permit" was the rule.
It was actually a pretty good one. I was as ready as I could have been for adulthood at 18. Because I had made a long series of small mistakes when I was younger, rather than being bottled up and exploding with a bunch of BIG mistakes when I was finally free. Sometimes my dad would even facilitate my mistakes. For example, we would sometimes have a glass of wine with dinner. One night he let me have as much as I asked for. I was maybe 16-ish - around the age when kids start sneaking out and partying. Needless to say, I drank way, way too much. I was hilariously ill. My dad stood in the doorway and said "Now you know."
I've never been that drunk since. I also learned something really important about myself, which is that I have a very high alcohol tolerance - it's genetic. So when I've finally had too much, I've had WAY too much. I need to stop drinking before I've had "too much." People die from NOT realizing that about themselves. That lesson may have saved me from winding up in the hospital at some point.
I tended to consult him about almost everything. I still do sometimes. I don't always take his advice, but the older I get, the more seriously I consider it. I haven't been subject to some of the massive, life-destroying mistakes my more sheltered and micro-managed friends have. I can't help but wonder if this is because I've never felt the need to hide anything.