View Poll Results: Parents: If you had their IDís and passwords, would you/do you logon to your kidsí FB

Voters
31. You may not vote on this poll
  • Parents: Yes, while they are minors.

    22 70.97%
  • Parents: No, while they are minors.

    2 6.45%
  • Parents: Yes, when they are adults.

    5 16.13%
  • Parents: No, when they are adults.

    10 32.26%
  • Parents: Yes, I creep their FB pages.

    3 9.68%
  • Parents: No, I donít creep their FB pages.

    9 29.03%
  • FaceBook? What's that?

    4 12.90%
Multiple Choice Poll.
Page 7 of 12 FirstFirst ... 56789 ... LastLast
Results 61 to 70 of 111

Thread: Family, FaceBook and spying.

  1. #61
    Stigmatized! End R Word! Kali's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Last Seen
    08-18-12 @ 11:29 PM
    Lean
    Very Liberal
    Posts
    13,334
    Blog Entries
    7

    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cephus View Post
    My kids wouldn't be caught dead on Facebook, any more than I would. So no.
    Is it because you are raising them to be socially awkward or that they simply have no interest?
    ~Following My Own Flow~

  2. #62
    Sage
    Mason66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Last Seen
    Today @ 04:45 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    21,465

    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Harry Guerrilla View Post
    Facebook is one of the most annoying "things" on the planet.
    Nuke it from space is my stance.
    Because you have that avatar, I hear everything you write in Stuart Smalleys voice. Can't help it.

  3. #63
    Sage
    Mason66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Last Seen
    Today @ 04:45 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    21,465

    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gina View Post
    Yes, but they are adults! As long as their grades are good and they aren't being arrested for underage drinking or something, they should be off limits. Or, I think so anyway.
    Generally speaking the good quite ones are usually the worst.

    I wouldn't spy on my adult children, because they have to take responsibility for their actions, but a minor child, I will be in there.

    Thank whoever I have a son.

  4. #64
    Sage
    Mason66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Last Seen
    Today @ 04:45 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    21,465

    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by TacticalEvilDan View Post
    I'm okay with monitoring minor children, especially if they're 13 or younger. Mine are 4 and 2, and whatever the Facebook of the day is when they're old enough to use a computer will likely permit younger kids. It'll just be a fact of our social lives by then.

    If they get to the teenage stage and your best source of honest intelligence is hacking their social media accounts, you're ****ed.

    If they get to the adult stage and you're STILL hacking their social media accounts, you're just plain ****ed up.
    If you have any experience with teenagers you know that what they tell you is totally different than what they are actually doing.

    Why did you cut it off at 13? 14 to 18 is where the problems are.

  5. #65
    Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Everywhere and Nowhere
    Last Seen
    03-07-12 @ 02:28 AM
    Lean
    Independent
    Posts
    3,692

    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    If you're open and honest with your children from the day they are born, you never have to snoop to find out what is happening in their lives.

    Your friend sounds like she is a poor communicator with her children, which is why she is kept in the dark, which is why she feels the need to spy.

    Incidentally, I hope the children also clue in and change their passwords at some point. When I was 15 I opened my first bank account and my father had to co-sign. As soon as I was an adult I took his name off of it, otherwise he'd have ongoing access.

    Why would you not change the password ASAP?

  6. #66
    Sage
    Mason66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Last Seen
    Today @ 04:45 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    21,465

    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gina View Post
    In all the conversation that night, she never indicated there was anything to worry about. She just didn't like not knowing what's going on in their lives. Simple as that.

    LOL, yes that would be awkward! Those are just the relationships on FB, that would make me cringe.



    Thanks! I agree with every word! It's such an overstep of parent/child boundaries.
    People need to get back to the idea that when kids are 18, they leave and make their own lives. If they fail they can come back to lick their wounds and try again, but the parent can't be a constant presence in their lives.

    Nature didn't intend it that way.

  7. #67
    Sage
    Mason66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Last Seen
    Today @ 04:45 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    21,465

    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Goshin View Post
    If Mommy and Daddy are paying any significant part of their college tuition or personal upkeep, they remain dependent and have no more right to privacy than if they lived at home, which in my opinion is "whatever privacy I let you have, probably very little." Hell yeah, I'd keep up with them... if I'm paying part or all of their way, I'd like to know they're spending more time studying than partying.

    People blow my minds. Most of the time they call college students "kids" and act protective of them, call them "oh my babies!" and want to coddle them like toddlers.... even though legally they're adults, able to join the military, contract, or marry at will. But then something like this comes up, where they suddenly act like their kids are adults and act horrified at the notion of spying on them, as if they were spying on adult strangers. ( I don't mean you specifically Gina, I'm thinking of certain other people when I say that...)

    Well, like I said... if you're paying your own way, good on you, do yo' thing. If Mommy and Daddy are paying a substantial part of your college/upkeep, guess what... you're their dependent still, and they're investing in you, trying to give you a head start in life... if they spy on you a little to see whether you're working hard at college or partying and blowing their money, well that's the price you pay for still being dependent.

    Could this be taken to an extreme? Sure, there are parents who try to micro-manage adult children beyond anything reasonable. Is FB "spying" automatically unreasonable? Nope... don't put anything online you would'nt put out there in public, because it is out there in public.
    I don't do that now and my son is almost 6.

  8. #68
    Sage
    Mason66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Last Seen
    Today @ 04:45 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    21,465

    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by DiAnna View Post
    Yes. The internet is a dangerous place. If my children or college-age young adults are posting things they do not want a parent to see, then they are posting things they know their parents wouldn't approve of. For example, college kids commonly post sexually-charged photos of themselves (not necessarily nudity), pics of them downing liquor at keggers, that kind of thing. If I'm paying for my child's education, then underage drinking, smoking, snorting drugs and sex-kitten photos (or lists of conquests for males) are not what I'm expecting of them.

    Also, look how many kids have been bullied or threatened via FB, and the parents were clueless until they found them hanging in the closet. Peer pressure of teens and early 20's is explosive, and too many kids feel that if they don't do what their friends do they'll be ostracized. Even good kids who've never been in trouble may do these things, and oblivious parents won't know until it catches up and they do get into trouble. Then the parent looks shell-shocked and says, "But they've never been in trouble" because they ignored the warning signs until they were caught.

    Uh-uh. The kids are good kids because their parents knew when to loosen the leash, and understood when to keep it taunt. When my children are out on their own, that's a whole different ballgame, but while my 18-21 yr old is in college, mommy is watching.
    With your examples here, do you really need their password to combat all that, or is being a friend on FB enough?

    What advantage does having the password give the parent?

  9. #69
    Sage
    Mason66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Last Seen
    Today @ 04:45 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    21,465

    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gina View Post
    I can't get past the fact they are adults. Yes, as you might be paying for their education, you demand results, so if the grades don't come through, you deal with that. I agreed with Goshin to the point that not all kids are ready to fly solo, but good kids who have not been in trouble have earned trust. If you start out having all their passwords and logons, then they won't be posting any of that anyway and you've forced them to sneak about. Yes, it's good no sexually or dumb drinking pics are not being posted there, but it doesn't mean it isn't happening. You just can't see it.

    I respect your point of view about internet bullying, and this reply, but good, open communication with our kids, minor and adult, will go farther than spying on them, although I do support monitoring for minors.
    Do you think it is OK for a previously good female child to get drunk on a Friday night and possibly end up pregnant?

    What will that do to her grades and future?

    Mistakes happen.

  10. #70
    Sage
    Mason66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Last Seen
    Today @ 04:45 AM
    Gender
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    21,465

    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kali View Post
    Is it because you are raising them to be socially awkward or that they simply have no interest?
    If you don't have a FB account you are socially awkward?

    WOW the previous generation must have been all nerds or something.

Page 7 of 12 FirstFirst ... 56789 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •