Parents: Yes, while they are minors.
Parents: No, while they are minors.
Parents: Yes, when they are adults.
Parents: No, when they are adults.
Parents: Yes, I creep their FB pages.
Parents: No, I donít creep their FB pages.
FaceBook? What's that?
"No religion is true, but some religion, any religion, is politically necessary. Law and morality are insufficient for the large majority of men. Obedience to the law and to the morals are insufficient for making men happy. [Ö]Law and morality are therefore in need of being supplemented by divine rewards and punishments."
Every child (in this case I mean "your child" whether young adult or minor) is different. They don't all need the same management methods. Some are ready to fly solo at 18, some aren't.
Fiddling While Rome Burns
Carthago Delenda Est
"I used to roll the dice; see the fear in my enemies' eyes... listen as the crowd would sing, 'now the old king is dead, Long Live the King.'.."
My kids wouldn't be caught dead on Facebook, any more than I would. So no.
Minor children living in my house? I'd make certain I had all of their passwords and would regularly monitor their pages. Children in college? Yes, if they're still living at home OR I'm footing their educational/living expenses. College is the time of most danger, when kids are still inexperienced but relatively unchaperoned and reveling in their freedom. However, my children and college kids would be aware that I am monitoring them. I'm not into "gotcha" parenting.
Also, look how many kids have been bullied or threatened via FB, and the parents were clueless until they found them hanging in the closet. Peer pressure of teens and early 20's is explosive, and too many kids feel that if they don't do what their friends do they'll be ostracized. Even good kids who've never been in trouble may do these things, and oblivious parents won't know until it catches up and they do get into trouble. Then the parent looks shell-shocked and says, "But they've never been in trouble" because they ignored the warning signs until they were caught.
Uh-uh. The kids are good kids because their parents knew when to loosen the leash, and understood when to keep it taunt. When my children are out on their own, that's a whole different ballgame, but while my 18-21 yr old is in college, mommy is watching.
Last edited by DiAnna; 07-13-11 at 10:30 PM.
I'm not into "gotcha" parenting either, so if I found them in material breach of our contract for me to pay for their collage, I would just let them know that I knew about their behavior.
How I found out is frankly non of their business as they aren't the parent. This isn't a court of law that I am required to provide evidence to prove my claim. If I confirm a child broke our contract, then we both know it occurred.
Last edited by Jerry; 07-13-11 at 10:44 PM.
I respect your point of view about internet bullying, and this reply, but good, open communication with our kids, minor and adult, will go farther than spying on them, although I do support monitoring for minors.
I'm willing to accept that maybe I'm just weird, but... college as a "time of most danger?" Seriously?
A college kid living on campus is nearly as protected from reality as a high schooler. The only difference is the guardians don't literally live IN the building... they're just constantly patrolling it.
When I was 18 I left to travel for 3 straight years. Alone. I'm not going to pretend it was no big deal. And while, before I actually left, I would tell people to go for it when they told me they "wished they were doing the same," I don't say that anymore. It is NOT for everyone. It IS dangerous. Really dangerous. "Almost killed me several times" dangerous. I think I'm the sort of person who needed to dive into things like that, but not everyone is.
My friends in college still don't know how to pay an electric bill. They don't know how to book a flight, set up a doctor's visit, and some of them don't even know how to use a washing machine.
College is "childhood part deux" unless you live independently off-campus. Relax.
Last edited by SmokeAndMirrors; 07-13-11 at 11:16 PM.