View Poll Results: Parents: If you had their IDís and passwords, would you/do you logon to your kidsí FB

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  • Parents: Yes, while they are minors.

    22 70.97%
  • Parents: No, while they are minors.

    2 6.45%
  • Parents: Yes, when they are adults.

    5 16.13%
  • Parents: No, when they are adults.

    10 32.26%
  • Parents: Yes, I creep their FB pages.

    3 9.68%
  • Parents: No, I donít creep their FB pages.

    9 29.03%
  • FaceBook? What's that?

    4 12.90%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Thread: Family, FaceBook and spying.

  1. #31
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Psshhhh ... if i have them, i would totally look up their facebook if i feel like it. Im a sneaky SOB... and my kids would know that. But im not a very controlling person... at all, just really nosey.

  2. #32
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gina View Post
    LOL, yes that would be awkward! Those are just the relationships on FB, that would make me cringe.
    Yo, GINA! Show me some love, girl! Where ma grandbitches at?!
    I'm already gearing up for Finger Vote 2014.

    Just for reference, means my post was a giant steaming pile of sarcasm.

  3. #33
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by evanescence View Post
    My kids are simply too young for me to relate to this personally at this point, but I hope that my relationship with my children will be based on honesty and acceptance. Then, there would be no need to spy.
    and then they will be teenagers. good luck!

    Originally Posted by johnny_rebson:

    These are the same liberals who forgot how Iraq attacked us on 9/11.


  4. #34
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Harry Guerrilla View Post
    They have db servers somewhere.
    You've heard about Zuckerberg, right? He's only eats what he hunts now.

    So, he will become the next....



    If you aren't careful
    Michael J Petrilli-"Is School Choice Enough?"-A response to the recent timidity of American conservatives toward education reform. https://nationalaffairs.com/publicat...-choice-enough

  5. #35
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by SlackMaster View Post
    For any parents out there that need help controlling internet usage, I recommend OpenDNS. It's a free service that lets you block out unwanted stuff (porn, etc). My sister doesn't know anything about computers and has me limit internet access for her kids.

    Basically you change your DNS settings in your router to OpenDNS settings and then you can go to their site, log into your account a limit or block access to adult sites, gambling, etc.

    It also has a method for shutting down access to social networking. When the kids are acting up, she has me block social networks. Once they're ungrounded, I reinstate the access.

    It's a pretty handy feature. I'd give the link but I'm new and not sure if that's cool to do. Just Google "OpenDNS" and you should find it.
    That's good to know! It's not something I need now, but I always keep these things in mind for friends.

    Quote Originally Posted by BamaBrat View Post
    I think if you are spying on adult children, then youre not really comfortable with the job you did raising them. Or you are just in bad need of a pair of scissors to cut those apron strings. Its our job as parents to raise our children to be productive members of society, to think for themselves and be good happy people hopefully. I think folks who spy or are really involved in their adult childrens lives to the point of having to know absolutely every detail need to take a step back, have confidence in the job they did raising said children, and let them live their lives. Isnt that why we have them in the first place????
    Again, I agree and there is no evidence this friend should be worried about them. They are excellent girls and she has two very much older boys who turned out brilliantly too, so I'm lost.

    Yes, that is what our job as parent is, to raise them to move out and be autonomous adults. I didn't like intrusions. I'm sure my kids wouldn't appreciate that either.

    Quote Originally Posted by evanescence View Post
    My kids are simply too young for me to relate to this personally at this point, but I hope that my relationship with my children will be based on honesty and acceptance. Then, there would be no need to spy.
    Exactly! These are great girls. So there shouldn't be any reason to spy.

    Quote Originally Posted by celticwar17 View Post
    Psshhhh ... if i have them, i would totally look up their facebook if i feel like it. Im a sneaky SOB... and my kids would know that. But im not a very controlling person... at all, just really nosey.
    LOL Nosey, huh?

    Quote Originally Posted by TacticalEvilDan View Post
    Yo, GINA! Show me some love, girl! Where ma grandbitches at?!
    Yes! Something just like that! Totally cringe worthy!

  6. #36
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gina View Post
    I was at dinner a couple weeks ago with a circle of very longtime friends. We hadn't made time for a get-together for a couple of years, so it was a lot of catching up.

    Several times, FaceBook came up with one of the ladies. Her daughters are away in college, the younger girl just last fall. She hates not knowing what is up with them and said that she regularly checks their FB pages. Ok, that's not something I do but beyond that, one of the others kept telling her that she probably couldn't see everything, surely they would have mom blocked. To which she consistently replied, "Oh, yes I can." Finally after much skepticism and telling her she really wouldn't want to know everything, she confessed, "I have their ID and passwords."

    Shock passed through the group. She explained, when they originally signed up as minors, she helped them and kept their information. They just never changed their passwords.

    We were horrified, but swore not to interfere, to which I agree. This is her's to deal with.

    So it's been on my mind. Is it out of line for a parent of adult children?

    These are my questions: Parents, do you/would you logon to your kids' FB pages to spy? While they are minors? When they are adults? Do you creep (my daughter's word) their pages? Are you their "friends" on FB?

    I have many issues with FB, but this one was new to me, so I thought would ask and include the questions about kids and parents "friending".

    Poll to come.
    Really? Horrified? This is how little it takes to horrify you? Seriously?

    ***
    As minor children are targets on Facebook, my children are not allowed to have an account at all, so having access to that account is a non-issue.

  7. #37
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gina View Post
    That's good to know! It's not something I need now, but I always keep these things in mind for friends.
    It's got some good features even for people without kids. I don't have kids and I use it.

    It will block spam, adware, phishing sites, etc. It also speeds up your internet because you're bypassing your ISP (typically) crappy DNS servers.

    You can also setup shortcuts so that when you type "DB" into the address bar it will know to reroute to http://www.debatepolitics.com. Not really "needed" but kind of handy.

    You can even make your own custom error pages so that when someone goes to the blocked site you can display something like:



    Back on topic though...

    Did you ask your friend if she'd given any thought to how her kid would react if they found out she was snooping? Is she prepared for that or does she just feel that she'll never get caught?

  8. #38
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by liblady View Post
    and then they will be teenagers. good luck!
    scary. but i have a few years til then.
    ďIn politics, stupidity is not a handicap.Ē -Napoleon

  9. #39
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by SlackMaster View Post
    Did you ask your friend if she'd given any thought to how her kid would react if they found out she was snooping? Is she prepared for that or does she just feel that she'll never get caught?
    By not changing the password she kinda left the door open. I wonder if the daughter even cares, if she's a mommy's girl and what other private things she'll share with her mother when she marries.

  10. #40
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gina View Post
    -- These are my questions: Parents, do you/would you logon to your kids' FB pages to spy? While they are minors? When they are adults? Do you creep (my daughter's word) their pages? Are you their "friends" on FB? --
    Good question.

    My two eldest came to live with me aged 10 and 7 after their first years at my ex-wife's house. She monitored everything when they were there. If I called them she would put the phone on speaker so she could listen in, she used to sometimes forget and answer a question for them if I asked how they were doing.

    They've lived with me 2 years now and they have their own log-in accounts on my computer. They have FB and they "friended" me but I also asked that they friend their mother so they could keep another avenue of contact open. I certainly don't "creep" their pages and I don't monitor their use unless they call me to show me something they think is funny.

    I have too many recollections of how hurt and angry I was that my calls and conversations with them were monitored to do that to them. I don't think I want to show my ex that I could rise above doing what she did, but there may be (human emotion) an element.

    They are still very young and they used to ask me for technical advice in setting stuff up, my eldest however is at a specialist maths and IT school and will be taking his GCSE maths and GCSE IT exams next June ( most kids do these at 16) and he's now way beyond me for IT skills so I wouldn't be able to do things behind his back anyway.

    I don't know if I'd feel any different with my daughter (she's by my partner) and she's still at the "look what I did in my nappy" stage so this kind of thing is a long way off. I know I feel differently about her online safety and general safety than i do about the boys but I also know they are deeply protective of her.

    I really hope I can handle her independence as well as I hope I have managed my son's..

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