View Poll Results: Parents: If you had their IDís and passwords, would you/do you logon to your kidsí FB

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  • Parents: Yes, while they are minors.

    22 70.97%
  • Parents: No, while they are minors.

    2 6.45%
  • Parents: Yes, when they are adults.

    5 16.13%
  • Parents: No, when they are adults.

    10 32.26%
  • Parents: Yes, I creep their FB pages.

    3 9.68%
  • Parents: No, I donít creep their FB pages.

    9 29.03%
  • FaceBook? What's that?

    4 12.90%
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Thread: Family, FaceBook and spying.

  1. #21
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    My daughter has face book, she got it when she was 14, she will be 15 in nov.
    I set it up for her and she knows I have all her pass words, she knows I can go on it and she is NOT allowed to change them.
    She also just got a cell phone last year even though I didnt really want her to have one yet and I also have the passwords to that to, which she is NOT allowed to change.

    That being said I have rarely gone on her page to monitor her activity, she knows I can and we are close so I havent had much need. Now mind you I HAVE been on it and HAVE gone through her phone but again not often and sometimes its been with or without her knowledge. I even post pics for her etc.

    Now in my case my daughter is a minor and she knows phones and facebook are to be open to me at all times. Thats just how it works she is a monir and she is mine but she is also a VERY OBNOXIOUSLY GOOD KID lol so I dont have many worries.

    I would NOT do this to an adult child, even under my roof, the relationship should be good enough to share stuff that is important and for them to understand that by time they are 18.
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  2. #22
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by StillBallin75 View Post
    well, pretty much the only thing that I can say in her defense is that IT'S COLLEGE!!
    Yes, but they are adults! As long as their grades are good and they aren't being arrested for underage drinking or something, they should be off limits. Or, I think so anyway.

  3. #23
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gina View Post
    No, these are adult girls, away at college. Everything you said, I agree with, while they are minors and that's what I have done with mine. Privacy is respected, until there is a reason to not respect it.
    With kids at college, I don't think I would invade their privacy like that. The only thing I can think of is if I thought they were endangering themselves. Other than that... I see no reason to "creep".

    This is one of the reasons I canceled my Facebook account. My 81 year old grandmother kept trying to friend me. I love my grandma, but Facebook is where I hang out with friends. It's awkward when my grandma shows up and says, "Sup bitches!!".

  4. #24
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    I'm okay with monitoring minor children, especially if they're 13 or younger. Mine are 4 and 2, and whatever the Facebook of the day is when they're old enough to use a computer will likely permit younger kids. It'll just be a fact of our social lives by then.

    If they get to the teenage stage and your best source of honest intelligence is hacking their social media accounts, you're ****ed.

    If they get to the adult stage and you're STILL hacking their social media accounts, you're just plain ****ed up.
    I'm already gearing up for Finger Vote 2014.

    Just for reference, means my post was a giant steaming pile of sarcasm.

  5. #25
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Centrist77 View Post
    My daughter has face book, she got it when she was 14, she will be 15 in nov.
    I set it up for her and she knows I have all her pass words, she knows I can go on it and she is NOT allowed to change them.
    She also just got a cell phone last year even though I didnt really want her to have one yet and I also have the passwords to that to, which she is NOT allowed to change.

    That being said I have rarely gone on her page to monitor her activity, she knows I can and we are close so I havent had much need. Now mind you I HAVE been on it and HAVE gone through her phone but again not often and sometimes its been with or without her knowledge. I even post pics for her etc.

    Now in my case my daughter is a minor and she knows phones and facebook are to be open to me at all times. Thats just how it works she is a monir and she is mine but she is also a VERY OBNOXIOUSLY GOOD KID lol so I dont have many worries.

    I would NOT do this to an adult child, even under my roof, the relationship should be good enough to share stuff that is important and for them to understand that by time they are 18.
    Mine expected that I might go looking, or, hear about anything untoward from our friends and neighbors (small town life is like that).

    As far as I know, there are no reasons to assume she is having trouble with this girls and they are adults anyway. So, I say hands off.

  6. #26
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by SlackMaster View Post
    This is one of the reasons I canceled my Facebook account. My 81 year old grandmother kept trying to friend me. I love my grandma, but Facebook is where I hang out with friends. It's awkward when my grandma shows up and says, "Sup bitches!!".
    The privacy controls are pretty sweet these days. I've got a "Studio Audience" group, where I know I'm among friends and can let my hair down, and "Everybody Else," which includes high school friends and family I don't normally socialize with.
    I'm already gearing up for Finger Vote 2014.

    Just for reference, means my post was a giant steaming pile of sarcasm.

  7. #27
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    Quote Originally Posted by SlackMaster View Post
    With kids at college, I don't think I would invade their privacy like that. The only thing I can think of is if I thought they were endangering themselves. Other than that... I see no reason to "creep".

    This is one of the reasons I canceled my Facebook account. My 81 year old grandmother kept trying to friend me. I love my grandma, but Facebook is where I hang out with friends. It's awkward when my grandma shows up and says, "Sup bitches!!".
    In all the conversation that night, she never indicated there was anything to worry about. She just didn't like not knowing what's going on in their lives. Simple as that.

    LOL, yes that would be awkward! Those are just the relationships on FB, that would make me cringe.

    Quote Originally Posted by TacticalEvilDan View Post
    I'm okay with monitoring minor children, especially if they're 13 or younger. Mine are 4 and 2, and whatever the Facebook of the day is when they're old enough to use a computer will likely permit younger kids. It'll just be a fact of our social lives by then.

    If they get to the teenage stage and your best source of honest intelligence is hacking their social media accounts, you're ****ed.

    If they get to the adult stage and you're STILL hacking their social media accounts, you're just plain ****ed up.
    Thanks! I agree with every word! It's such an overstep of parent/child boundaries.

  8. #28
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    For any parents out there that need help controlling internet usage, I recommend OpenDNS. It's a free service that lets you block out unwanted stuff (porn, etc). My sister doesn't know anything about computers and has me limit internet access for her kids.

    Basically you change your DNS settings in your router to OpenDNS settings and then you can go to their site, log into your account a limit or block access to adult sites, gambling, etc.

    It also has a method for shutting down access to social networking. When the kids are acting up, she has me block social networks. Once they're ungrounded, I reinstate the access.

    It's a pretty handy feature. I'd give the link but I'm new and not sure if that's cool to do. Just Google "OpenDNS" and you should find it.

  9. #29
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    I think if you are spying on adult children, then youre not really comfortable with the job you did raising them. Or you are just in bad need of a pair of scissors to cut those apron strings. Its our job as parents to raise our children to be productive members of society, to think for themselves and be good happy people hopefully. I think folks who spy or are really involved in their adult childrens lives to the point of having to know absolutely every detail need to take a step back, have confidence in the job they did raising said children, and let them live their lives. Isnt that why we have them in the first place????

  10. #30
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    Re: Family, FaceBook and spying.

    My kids are simply too young for me to relate to this personally at this point, but I hope that my relationship with my children will be based on honesty and acceptance. Then, there would be no need to spy.
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