Should my six-month old daughter get earrings--why or why not?

JohnWOlin said:

I am against it. I do not like the idea. However, I want to hear from anyone with experience with baby girls and I have found plenty of anecdotal and scientific reasons but her mother is incredibly persistent and I really have no say in it in the end she will eventually do it. I would like thoughts however on any negatives and or positives.

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Umm..first and foremost...if its your daughter then why the hell wouldn't you have a say in it? You as a father have every right to have a say in it. The only way that you wouldn't is if you are divorced and she has full custody.

As for getting earrings at 6 months old? That is extremely dangerous. Earrings have a tendency to fall off. If one falls off and the baby sees it she will put it in her mouth and possibly swallow it. Which can do alot of damage. Also babies are not the most balanced of beings. They fall...lots. If an earring gets caught on something as she falls it can rip her ear lobe.

Edit note: Made post before reading whole thread.

I don't see what the big deal is. There is not one single girl in my family that didn't get her ears pierced at birth. I mean what exactly is your problem with your kid having little holes in her lobes so she can wear cute earrings?? I dunno, maybe it's culture shock or something, but I'm at a total loss at understanding your reaction.

JohnWOlin said:

I am against it. I do not like the idea. However, I want to hear from anyone with experience with baby girls and I have found plenty of anecdotal and scientific reasons but her mother is incredibly persistent and I really have no say in it in the end she will eventually do it. I would like thoughts however on any negatives and or positives.

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With my daughter, we are making sure she understands its ok for her to go get earrings when she wants them. So far, she has not asked though. However, my wife does not wear earrings because her ears always get infected, so she gave up on the idea and my daughter would probably have gotten them by now if her mother wore them.

there are some cultures, such as the latino population, which routinely pierce the infant girls' ears
it is found odd within those groups if the ears are not pierced early
indonesians, and i would speculate other groups, have the same expectation
possibly this is what is driving your daughter's mother to want her daughter's ears pierced
and three months is not an unusual age for it to occur
just make sure gold, titanium, or surgical steel is the material used for the earrings' posts
(not being hispanic, my wife and i agreed our daughter would choose for herself; she did, in middle school)

and i would ask the OP to reflect on this matter. to determine what is the real motivation driving his strong opposition to this. i did not see much rationale for his objections expressed (it consisted of "i do not like the idea"); possibly you have reasons for your opposition you chose not to share
but make sure you are taking a stand on this because it is your daughter's interests you seek to secure
and that this is not just an opportunity to place your daughter in the center of an ongoing conflict between you and the woman you chose not to marry during a four year, and subsequently pregnant, engagement
my sense from your posts, here and in other threads, is that you and your former significant other have a LOT of animosity going on
if this is really about securing your daughter's interests, then you should be willing to do whatever is in your power to assure your position prevails. if you are not there, then you may actually be looking for reasons to elevate conflict between you and the ex ... and unfortunately, that will come at your daughter's expense
only you will be able to distinguish between what is real paternal interest and that which is directed at the bitch

JohnWOlin said:

I am against it. I do not like the idea. However, I want to hear from anyone with experience with baby girls and I have found plenty of anecdotal and scientific reasons but her mother is incredibly persistent and I really have no say in it in the end she will eventually do it. I would like thoughts however on any negatives and or positives.

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See this is what happens when people get use to the nanny-state. Make your own decision, John. She's your daughter. If this were a circumcision, no one would be asking the question.

justabubba said:

there are some cultures, such as the latino population, which routinely pierce the infant girls' ears
it is found odd within those groups if the ears are not pierced early
indonesians, and i would speculate other groups, have the same expectation
possibly this is what is driving your daughter's mother to want her daughter's ears pierced

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Pretty much. Where I come from, the exception is the girl with unpierced ears. I didn't even realize it could be such a controversy in the US. :shock:

American said:

See this is what happens when people get use to the nanny-state. Make your own decision, John. She's your daughter.

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i missed it
what does the "nanny state" have to say about this matter?

American said:

See this is what happens when people get use to the nanny-state. Make your own decision, John. She's your daughter. If this were a circumcision, no one would be asking the question.

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Is this supposed to be a real reply?

I voted no, my reasons are:


Pros
The mother may get some sort of selfish gratification out of it.

Cons
Subjugates girl to pain for no real benefit.
Can lead to infection.
Can be a hazard, caught on toys, blanket, ect and torn out.
Can be swallowed (earrings).

I'm against it, simply because I think it should be up to her if she wants her ears pierced, not her mother.

If it happens it happens though, I don't know of any real reasons not to. It will hurt her a little, but it'll pass soon enough, and she'll be too young to remember it.

Like most others in this thread, I'm against it for many of the same reasons. First, it hurts like hell... not just for a few minutes, but for weeks, every time alcohol is applied to the scabbing wound to prevent infection. Infections are very common in infants and very young children, because they aren't tidy creatures to begin with and both hoops and studs must be sterilized regularly. Studs can pierce the skin behind the ear while the child sleeps, waking her and irritating her. Also, the studs are a swallowing/tearing danger with children this young. But mainly, this is not something the child herself wants or is old enough to want. It's what her mother wants. I believe that cosmetic procedures like piercings and tatoos should only be done when the child is old enough to give informed consent. I would allow my 10 yr old to get pierced ears if she truly, truly wanted them. I would not allow her to get a tatoo, however.

I have pierced ears, btw, and I love the comfort of pierced earrings versus painful clamps, and the delicate structure of pierced studs on the lobe. My daughter also has pierced ears. Both of us were young adults when we chose the procedure for ourselves. I encourage you to allow your daughter to make the same choice when she is old enough to do so.

Sure...I mean really...who cares? I dont say that dismissively. I mean it sincerely. The kid isnt traumatized by it, they kinda think its neat when they are 2, 3 years old and old enough to realize they have pierced ears. Now...I would draw the line at tattooing tribal **** on their faces or piercing their nipples at that age...but...earrings? NBD...just make sure they get the location right!

Pick your battles.

When you pick a hill to die on, it should be something important. If it is important enough to fight a battle over, then fight with all you've got, every weapon and every dirty trick, tooth and nail to the bitter end.

If it isn't worth that kind of fight, then state your opinion clearly and stop there.

(It is worth noting that if you've shown willing to fight a pitched battle before.... your opinions are more likely to be listened to!)

None of my business.

katiegrrl0 said:

If she does not have sole custody of your daughter she muct get your approval or she can not do it. Send her a registered letter with a return receipt stating that you do not want her to do this. If she does you have a record and you can take legal action. If you do not have joint custody it could be difficult. I am guessing that you do see your daughter. This is a legal issue and I am sure your daughters mother does not want to go to court over a pair of earrings.

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Oh, yeah, go to freakin' war over an ear piercing....that'll make the next 18 years blissful.

Let it go, John. Save your strategizing for things that actually matter...there'll be plenty of 'em.

JohnWOlin said:

Is this supposed to be a real reply?

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It's like we're the nanny state. It's none of our damn business, it's yours. How many here would tell you and earring is bad, and no problem cutting around on a new born penis? Probably at least 90%.

JohnWOlin said:

This is the thing. In order to do this, it becomes a big production for either one of us. Then after I spend $500 to get the ball rolling just over a pair of earrings she could just take them out and go "Oh look you just wasted $500 you're an idiot." That is my hell.

Also CarlF here is the thing about the whole decision thing, that is fine and I would rather it be her decision. But my 6 month old daughter isn't deciding anything for herself for quite sometime so this is very small in comparison. I just do not like what will be the inevitable inconvenience of it happening.

Also Mistress "physically injuring" is even funnier than the "mutilation". In reality it will hurt her for a small amount of time, less than a shot would. She needs no nothing to show she is a girl. At 6 months, she is the prettiest baby you have and ever will see in your life:

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Cute kid. Mine has had her ears pierced since she was 4 months old(she's 4 now) - you'll be fine and they never really grab on to their ears the way you think. If she's the opposite of my daughter who grabs her head and not her ears, buy her loops. They have earrings made specifically so kids can't undo them.

Is your daughter's mother responsible enough to actually take care of your daughter's ears and earrings (clean them and do everything she should to prevent infections)? If not, then that could be a good argument against them (although there is probably a better way to put it so that it isn't taken as an insult). I think the best course of action for you is to present a well thought-out argument to your daughter's mother for why she shouldn't get your daughter's ears pierced using the facts (such as letting it be your daughter's decision and any personal things that might make you believe that this is a bad idea, either dealing with the daughter or the mother or both). Try your best to stick with the facts and to remain calm. Try not to include exaggerations or things that aren't very likely to happen. She still might decide to do it, but at least you expressed your concerns to her before hand.

There are some advantages to having ears pierced as an infant, such as the holes are more likely to stay open and she isn't responsible for taking care of them (which is generally only seen as a hindsight advantage since most girls get theirs pierced by choice during their teens and have to take care of their ears and earrings on their own and it would depend on the individual teen's responsibility level as to whether it leads to more infections or not, but teens aren't generally the most responsible individuals). And it isn't as painful as some on here seem to believe. I have had my ears pierced for the same holes three times (they grew closed twice). The only pain was the pinch of earring going through each ear. It can be scary but it really isn't very painful. It can be painful if the baby gets an infection, but it isn't normal to have pain when just cleaning the holes.

My mother told my grandmother that she could not get my ears pierced as an infant. It used to be very normal in the South for baby girls to get their ears pierced to help identify them as girls and keep them feminine. I wonder sometimes if my grandmother felt that my being a tomboy had anything to do with me not having pierced ears. I personally would leave it up to my child. I think waiting til the girl can take care of them herself (her teens) does help with teaching responsibility, if she decides that she wants them pierced at all.

Hatuey said:

Cute kid. Mine has had her ears pierced since she was 4 months old(she's 4 now) - you'll be fine and they never really grab on to their ears the way you think. If she's the opposite of my daughter who grabs her head and not her ears, buy her loops. They have earrings made specifically so kids can't undo them.

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Well if Hatuey did it, I wouldn't do it then. :mrgreen: j/k

JohnWOlin said:

How did I know someone would say mutilation and claim have no balls? Back story: her mother is a woman. Also we are not together so as I said either way she will eventually do it if she really wants to I am just looking for a good way to scare her out of it.

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If she wants the earrings to make sure people know she is a girl, which most mothers want, tell her she can get the same result by gluing a pink bow on her head with hot wax.

I can't understand why somebody would want to put holes in an infant.

Please don't use the excuse that she is her mother. Women have comon sense too.

JohnWOlin said:

Well I did it for a few reasons. One if anyone could say anything I haven't already thought of, and two, I wanted to see how many post used the words "mutilated" "life destroying" and "injure" cuz I knew it would give me a good chuckle.

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Sounds to me like you already decided so why waste peoples time?

Mason66 said:

If she wants the earrings to make sure people know she is a girl, which most mothers want, tell her she can get the same result by gluing a pink bow on her head with hot wax.

I can't understand why somebody would want to put holes in an infant.

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Yes. Go with the pink clothing. Everyone will say "oh, it's a girl". I don't think anyone will say "oh, it's a gay boy" (I might, but irl trolls are not so common).

Regarding earrings, I don't understand why anyone would rape the earth and self mutilate.


@American: fwiw, I'm also against circumcision (in the developed world where sanitation is not so much a factor) - unless it really does prevent dick cancer.

American said:

Well if Hatuey did it, I wouldn't do it then. :mrgreen: j/k

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I didn't do it. My wife just came with a bill and told me she'd bought earrings for the kid. Now everybody in the family has their ears pierced except the dogs.

She should wait until she can make the decision herself. That goes for all body modification.

Mason66 said:

Sounds to me like you already decided so why waste peoples time?

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Yeah, this. Posting a poll just so you can rag on peeps who say something you will lol about does nothing but annoy us and give your credibility a ding.