View Poll Results: What kind of fighter are you

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  • I'm a lover, not a fighter

    5 17.24%
  • I shut down. FREEZE FRAME!

    1 3.45%
  • I try to be rational, and stick to the topic

    14 48.28%
  • I don't have fights, I have cage matches

    2 6.90%
  • As long as I'm right and get the last word, I don't care what kind of damage I'm doing

    2 6.90%
  • I like to kitchen sink

    0 0%
  • Other/Hot Pockets

    5 17.24%
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Thread: When it comes to disagreements

  1. #1
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    When it comes to disagreements

    What do you do? Poll en route.

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    Re: When it comes to disagreements

    with whom?

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    Re: When it comes to disagreements

    Quote Originally Posted by cpwill View Post
    with whom?
    In real life. I've already seen how you act here.

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    Re: When it comes to disagreements

    well, I mean, it still sometimes depends with whom and over what. If I'm right in an assessment at work, for example, on which an operational decision will be made, then other people will suffer if the person who is wrong is allowed to win out, and I will argue the point heedless of whether or not that person will "like me" following. If I disagree with my wife, however..... well, I'd like to get laid sometime this decade.

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    Re: When it comes to disagreements

    I try to be rational and stick to the topic. If somebody starts lobbing verbal grenades at me with the intent of being right and having the last word, I freeze.

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    Re: When it comes to disagreements

    I'm exactly the same IRL as I am here.

    Fiddling While Rome Burns
    ISIS: Carthago Delenda Est
    "I used to roll the dice; see the fear in my enemies' eyes... listen as the crowd would sing, 'now the old king is dead, Long Live the King.'.."

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    Re: When it comes to disagreements

    I have differing reactions in different circumstances.

    I am assuming we're not just talking politics here, but any sort of personal disagreement.

    I generally start out very placid. And I stay that way for a long time. I don't like fighting, I don't like drama, and I believe there is usually a logical or empathetic way to work out a problem. And I will maintain that demeanor very tenaciously. I never raise my voice. I think I have yelled once in anger, in the past decade. I despise yelling.

    However, if someone has become dirty enough in their fighting (and it has to get very bad for me to go here), I will "freeze" them out. That isn't immediate. I will end the situation, walk away, and then make the decision whether it is worth truly freezing them out or not. I take my time with that decision, because I don't seem to be able to undo it once I've done it. Like I said, it takes a pretty extreme circumstance to make me react that way - beyond the context of what I'd call a "disagreement." I have to be greatly wronged for that to be put on the table.

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    Re: When it comes to disagreements

    Quote Originally Posted by BDBoop View Post
    What do you do? Poll en route.
    It depends. If the person is polite, I try to be polite back. If they become rude and aggressive, I will fight back.

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    Re: When it comes to disagreements

    Quote Originally Posted by MistressNomad View Post
    I have differing reactions in different circumstances.

    I am assuming we're not just talking politics here, but any sort of personal disagreement.

    I generally start out very placid. And I stay that way for a long time. I don't like fighting, I don't like drama, and I believe there is usually a logical or empathetic way to work out a problem. And I will maintain that demeanor very tenaciously. I never raise my voice. I think I have yelled once in anger, in the past decade. I despise yelling.

    However, if someone has become dirty enough in their fighting (and it has to get very bad for me to go here), I will "freeze" them out. That isn't immediate. I will end the situation, walk away, and then make the decision whether it is worth truly freezing them out or not. I take my time with that decision, because I don't seem to be able to undo it once I've done it. Like I said, it takes a pretty extreme circumstance to make me react that way - beyond the context of what I'd call a "disagreement." I have to be greatly wronged for that to be put on the table.
    Yup. Personal. I've had right fighters in my life, and it's enough to make one join a convent. No really; it's okay if I don't agree with you. It really is. You don't have to form a firing squad in the interest of getting me to agree.

    I never understood people like that. Really? People agreeing with you is so important you'll take a "Yes, the sky is green" even KNOWING that not only do they still think it's blue, but now they think less of you - just to be right? Craziness.

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    Re: When it comes to disagreements

    Quote Originally Posted by BDBoop View Post
    Yup. Personal. I've had right fighters in my life, and it's enough to make one join a convent. No really; it's okay if I don't agree with you. It really is. You don't have to form a firing squad in the interest of getting me to agree.

    I never understood people like that. Really? People agreeing with you is so important you'll take a "Yes, the sky is green" even KNOWING that not only do they still think it's blue, but now they think less of you - just to be right? Craziness.
    I find people reacting to personal disagreements that way very odd. I don't know how to deal with it - it's as though they WANT to fight. I have a very, very low tolerance for drama in my life. I just can't deal with people like that.

    So my approach is to simply make that not an option. I am not sure how to describe this - it's not something I do consciously. It's probably some sort of microexpression thing, and I can feel myself doing it, but I'm not sure what it is. But basically, my mind empties out and there's almost a very zen quality to my mind, and to my stare. My pace of speech slows down (I generally speak at quite a clip). The purpose is to make people feel comfortable, and to provide no possible excuse for someone to bring out "the firing squad," as you put it. If they do so, it's out of the clear blue sky, and a completely silly and irrational thing to do.

    People generally react well to that. I'm basically letting them emotionally take the floor, by making my own presence very still. If things are heated, or someone is uncomfortable, it de-escalates things quickly.

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