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Is an affair a dealbreaker

If your partner cheats, will you stay?

  • No, I'd end it

    Votes: 19 38.8%
  • Yes, I'd stay. Period.

    Votes: 3 6.1%
  • I'd stay conditionally

    Votes: 13 26.5%
  • Don't know/not sure/not in a relationship/HOT POCKETS!

    Votes: 14 28.6%

  • Total voters
    49
well, if your slavish soul is following close enough to my religious doctrine....then you must acknowledge as wisdom that
"I", the great keeper of the unopened gate, has provided for you lowly subjects a link. this link
springs life eternal. it manifests knowledge as a spring manifests water to the plant life of the forbidden wilderness.
search, my child....and ye shall find.

Groovy.......!
 
You called upon the image of an America you never really saw and never really existed. You're all about some dream about the "good old days."

no, my child.......i am not merely a worshipper of the TV religion. i feel the holy grail which the people drink from
to be more substantial than pictures of the holy grail. i trust people more than i do the TV. it's a neo-religious concept,
i'm sure......but i'm an innovator in politics. i actually have the audacity to still believe in people over plastic and glass.
 
Dude... you posted a link about something that NO ONE was arguing, and in fact everyone agreed with. And it was a bad link, besides. You asked three times if anyone wanted to counter your claim. We all said "no, but your link is funny." And then you said "AH-HAH, I'M RIGHT!" when no one argued it in the first place.

evanescence - Nope. When I was younger there were sometimes mistakes of communication in my more complicated relationships, but it was never such a bad mistake as to fall into the realm of cheating. And, that has happened the other way around too. But I've been lucky to never have to deal with infidelity.
 
Dude... you posted a link about something that NO ONE was arguing, and in fact everyone agreed with. And it was a bad link, besides. You asked three times if anyone wanted to counter your claim. We all said "no, but your link is funny." And then you said "AH-HAH, I'M RIGHT!" when no one argued it in the first place.

evanescence - Nope. When I was younger there were sometimes mistakes of communication in my more complicated relationships, but it was never such a bad mistake as to fall into the realm of cheating. And, that has happened the other way around too. But I've been lucky to never have to deal with infidelity.

Same here. Miscommunication or a lack or communication all together seem to be more the deal breaker than anything else. Either people are flat out dishonest or they just don't communicate their needs effectively.
 
Dude... you posted a link about something that NO ONE was arguing, and in fact everyone agreed with. And it was a bad link, besides. You asked three times if anyone wanted to counter your claim. We all said "no, but your link is funny." And then you said "AH-HAH, I'M RIGHT!" when no one argued it in the first place.

evanescence - Nope. When I was younger there were sometimes mistakes of communication in my more complicated relationships, but it was never such a bad mistake as to fall into the realm of cheating. And, that has happened the other way around too. But I've been lucky to never have to deal with infidelity.
the link...AND my opinion was that this loss of morality in terms of monogamy has effected a certain degradation within society as a sum total.
you all keep dodging this...so i continue to mock your deflection of the issue itself.
 
no, my child.......i am not merely a worshipper of the TV religion. i feel the holy grail which the people drink from
to be more substantial than pictures of the holy grail. i trust people more than i do the TV. it's a neo-religious concept,
i'm sure......but i'm an innovator in politics. i actually have the audacity to still believe in people over plastic and glass.

None of that made a lick of sense. I'm starting to think your holy grail looks a whole lot like a bong. :lol:
 
Somebody let me know if this gets back on track. It's an interesting question.
 
Really depends on the circumstances, to be honest. If I hadn't banged my wife in a year, I wouldn't blame her for going out and getting some.

I don't think she'd take the same perspective, though.

They never do. Funny how that works.
 
I don't see cheaters as unfaithful scum as others seem to. I see them as people playing the monogamy game when they aren't meant to, and that's okay. Our social fabric seems setup to force one kind of relationship on people, and that isn't realistic for many.

If you have established trust with your partner on the basis of monogamy, then yes, you are right to feel betrayed if that trust is broken. My partner and I are both polyamorous and we both put equal time and energy into any other partner we have. It takes a lot of work to be equally committed to multiple people (which is why I only have one partner right now). It is not infidelity, but a very conscious practice.

I don't see why monogamy in of itself should have anything to do with the value of your relationship, or with your partner's choices that happen away from you. Why does it matter what they do with someone else? All that matters is how they relate to you. If their relationship with someone else is hurting your relationship (i.e. they are not fulfilling their commitments, there are scheduling problems, etc.), then that's something worth looking at, especially if you have a kid. On the other hand, them being with someone else does not summarily make them unfaithful trash.

There's a reason why people call it "free love". I am not talking about polysexery and trying to get off with as many people as possible. It seems like most of people's suffering about cheating stems from being too attached. When I love someone, it makes much more sense for them to remain free in my eyes. I want them to be free, but because we are together, I expect communication and sharing about what they are experiencing. That's all I ask for.

All these personal wounds... over humans being humans, and then having a guilt and shame complex about it. It has not been my reality and I don't understand it. For some people monogamy works and that's great, but looking at the divorce statistics, I don't think it's meant to last for many. Or at least, the way monogamy is playing out seems to be stagnating people's lives so that they want to escape, as if monogamy or divorce are the only two options.

Relationships need to evolve or they die. It's just that simple. And sometimes, their evolving leads to a natural ending anyway.
 
I don't see cheaters as unfaithful scum as others seem to. I see them as people playing the monogamy game when they aren't meant to, and that's okay. Our social fabric seems setup to force one kind of relationship on people, and that isn't realistic for many.

If you have established trust with your partner on the basis of monogamy, then yes, you are right to feel betrayed if that trust is broken. My partner and I are both polyamorous and we both put equal time and energy into any other partner we have. It takes a lot of work to be equally committed to multiple people (which is why I only have one partner right now). It is not infidelity, but a very conscious practice.

I don't see why monogamy in of itself should have anything to do with the value of your relationship, or with your partner's choices that happen away from you. Why does it matter what they do with someone else? All that matters is how they relate to you. If their relationship with someone else is hurting your relationship (i.e. they are not fulfilling their commitments, there are scheduling problems, etc.), then that's something worth looking at, especially if you have a kid. On the other hand, them being with someone else does not summarily make them unfaithful trash.

There's a reason why people call it "free love". I am not talking about polysexery and trying to get off with as many people as possible. It seems like most of people's suffering about cheating stems from being too attached. When I love someone, it makes much more sense for them to remain free in my eyes. I want them to be free, but because we are together, I expect communication and sharing about what they are experiencing. That's all I ask for.

All these personal wounds... over humans being humans, and then having a guilt and shame complex about it. It has not been my reality and I don't understand it. For some people monogamy works and that's great, but looking at the divorce statistics, I don't think it's meant to last for many. Or at least, the way monogamy is playing out seems to be stagnating people's lives so that they want to escape, as if monogamy or divorce are the only two options.

Relationships need to evolve or they die. It's just that simple. And sometimes, their evolving leads to a natural ending anyway.

yes. excuses are wonderful. high crime rates are due to poverty. high rape rates are due to a lack of sex.
high AIDS rates are due to men accidentally placing their dicks in the asses of other men. what a wonderful world we live in
where the dumb ass excuses of immorality can justify actual consequence.
 
I really lack the experience compared to you guys. I am still pretty young, so honestly I am not sure how I would respond. (I haven't had to deal with this issue yet.) I suppose, in my attempt to grasp the situation, I tend to look at it from a biological stand point.

I have always thought that a relationship for life goes against the very fabric of our humanity. At least right now, I feel that naturally we are supposed to have multiple partners. Maybe not at the same time, but what I mean is not being with someone for life.

The evidence of the large number of divorces, as I see it, is evidence of this. But who knows, maybe I will meet that woman that sweeps me off my feet.
 
yes. excuses are wonderful. high crime rates are due to poverty. high rape rates are due to a lack of sex.
high AIDS rates are due to men accidentally placing their dicks in the asses of other men. what a wonderful world we live in
where the dumb ass excuses of immorality can justify actual consequence.

How wonderfully dumb. You seem unaware that strait men can get AIDS too.
 
How wonderfully dumb. You seem unaware that strait men can get AIDS too.

...to be fair, if you are a straight white male in the western world, your chances of contracting AIDS are statistically slim.

But yeah, you're definitely not immune.
 
...to be fair, if you are a straight white male in the western world, your chances of contracting AIDS are statistically slim.

But yeah, you're definitely not immune.

Depends on your lifestyle, same as being a gay man.
 
...to be fair, if you are a straight white male in the western world, your chances of contracting AIDS are statistically slim.

But yeah, you're definitely not immune.

And if you are monogamous, you chances are none.
 
yes. excuses are wonderful. high crime rates are due to poverty. high rape rates are due to a lack of sex.
high AIDS rates are due to men accidentally placing their dicks in the asses of other men. what a wonderful world we live in
where the dumb ass excuses of immorality can justify actual consequence.

You're right, everyone should be lesbians!
 
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