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Is an affair a dealbreaker

If your partner cheats, will you stay?

  • No, I'd end it

    Votes: 19 38.8%

  • Yes, I'd stay. Period.

    Votes: 3 6.1%

  • I'd stay conditionally

    Votes: 13 26.5%

  • Don't know/not sure/not in a relationship/HOT POCKETS!

    Votes: 14 28.6%
  • Total voters
    49
Jeezy said:
Most graphs I've seen indicate late 60s. Doesn't really affect whatever the hell it is you were saying though.

This thread turned stupid overnight.
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Nah. Just ignore those bits. I'm still enjoying the mature interaction.
 
Jeezy said:
Most graphs I've seen indicate late 60s. Doesn't really affect whatever the hell it is you were saying though.

This thread turned stupid overnight.
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yours would indicate the "sexual revolution" then causing the downfall of the family.
i won't argue that point.
 
Jerry said:
I sincerely doubt the average couple has the formal sit-down to define terms and conditions as you claim.

These are assumptions based on culture, 'common-sense' premises, which people typically take for granted.

And yeah, anything you choose can kill your relationship, those are your personal preferences and that's fine; but that doesn't mean your significant other broke some rule. Simply going against your preferences isn't cheating even if it makes you walk away.

So yes it's up to the couple to design the terms, but that doesn't mean they do. A lot is simply assumed, and you know what happens when you assume....
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Actually it seems like common sense to me for people to openly discuss their expectations of the relationship, including terms and conditions. Even before we married, my husband and I actually sat down and discussed specific terms and conditions even down to what we each considered cheating. Then we had a verbal agreement to be monogamous. People who don't do this much are likely dooming their relationships from the beginning by not communicating honestly. Also, by having this discussion, people can see if they have compatible morality. That is extremely important since many people have different views of what monogamy is.

Tucker Case said:
Really depends on the circumstances, to be honest. If I hadn't banged my wife in a year, I wouldn't blame her for going out and getting some.

I don't think she'd take the same perspective, though.
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I tend to agree with this. If people do not please their spouses, affairs usually happen. Even the bible says this, oddly enough. And I hold to that which is why I rarely turn my husband down for sex.

Aunt Spiker said:
I went 16 months without any - I managed and so did he without turning into wretched vow violating beasts of compulsion.

But that's just us - a lot of military families don't fair as well.
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Some may, but most don't. I can't tell you how many people I've heard of having affairs either while their spouses are away, or while overseas. Most people cannot seem to control themselves past a certain point.



Removable Mind said:
With all due respect Lewstherin, if you are going to inject "Stats" into your argument (which you've allude to such), it would be really nice if you included "your stats" to support your position. It's not that we don't believe you. Lord knows we trust your every word, but for the sake of argument, appease us.
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The stats on people's sexual habits, even how many partners they have slept with, are almost always lies. People are rarely honest about these things. For example, I read a statistic that said that the average person on the planet only has six partners in a life time-yeah right. Not a friggin chance. :lol:

For me, an affair most certainly is a deal breaker unless there was an agreement from the beginning that the relationship is open-which I doubt I could stand at this point. I personally hate cheaters beyond what words can describe. It's probably my obsession with loyalty that makes me feel this way. Imo, people should at least have enough respect for the person they supposedly love to be honest. My view: if someone is unhappy or unfulfilled, they should end they relationship before the have sex with someone else.
 
lewstherin said:
sorry, hon. but the stats prove you wrong. this nation has went to hell since the liberal agenda effected
it's "destruction of the nuclear family" crusade back in the late 1950's. this nation, along with our culture and
society have been demoralized to the point where love, honor, and honesty mean nothing at all. and with this
demoralization, man has regressed to a more primitive mindset. man is now more interested in material excess
and "gadgets" than his own personal elevation, both spiritual and physical. and it is all connected, whether you like it or not.
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Interesting. So, then, I take it you were born in the 1930s at the latest, yes? After all, in order to have something to compare the 50s to, you'd need to have a clear memory of the 40s, and that would make you at least 70.

Being at least 70, your memory must be getting a little fuzzy. You must be forgetting about the blind eye we turned to the plight of the European Jew, then the internment camps after we finally bothered to get involved, the red scares that came after the war, the hanging of uppity niggers all throughout, the fact that it took the National Guard to begin the end of institutional racism, the way our involvement in Korea and Vietnam tore the country to pieces, the petroleum shortages, the market plunge in the 80s and the resulting economic hardship, and so on.

America has a history of one turmoil after another. It was born in turmoil, and some of our highest laws were penned as the result of further turmoil. Each time we came out the other side either stronger than we were, or merely different from before, or some of each.

Of course, if you're any younger than 70, shut the **** up and stop talking about how great the America you never saw supposedly was.
 
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TacticalEvilDan said:
Interesting. So, then, I take it you were born in the 1930s at the latest, yes? After all, in order to have something to compare the 50s to, you'd need to have a clear memory of the 40s, and that would make you at least 70.

Being at least 70, your memory must be getting a little fuzzy. You must be forgetting about the blind eye we turned to the plight of the European Jew, then the internment camps after we finally bothered to get involved, the red scares that came after the war, the hanging of uppity niggers all throughout, the fact that it took the National Guard to begin the end of institutional racism, the way our involvement in Korea and Vietnam tore the country to pieces, the petroleum shortages, the market plunge in the 80s and the resulting economic hardship, and so on.

America has a history of one turmoil after another. It was born in turmoil, and some of our highest laws were penned as the result of further turmoil. Each time we came out the other side either stronger than we were, or merely different from before, or some of each.

Of course, if you're any younger than 70, shut the **** up and stop talking about how great the America you never saw supposedly was.
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oh...so now you all want my opinion from experience? because before, you all wanted proof from statistical links.
maybe you widdle muddled minded tinkers should make up your own damn minds.
 
Coincidentally, today is my 11th anniversary.
 
lewstherin said:
oh...so now you all want my opinion from experience? because before, you all wanted proof from statistical links.
maybe you widdle muddled minded tinkers should make up your own damn minds.
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Maybe your widdle muddled minded self should keep in mind that I just entered this discussion.
 
TacticalEvilDan said:
Maybe your widdle muddled minded self should keep in mind that I just entered this discussion.
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all i'm saying is: i started off giving my opinion....
after that....people demanded links...............
after that....people attempted to discredit my links...............
after that.....i challenged them to refute the link............
after that.......i get drug back into the "opinion arena"....

debating here is essentially a neverending cycle of "penis-wagging".
i'm gonna keep dancing around, though. i can wag with the best of them.
 
lewstherin said:
all i'm saying is: i started off giving my opinion....
after that....people demanded links...............
after that....people attempted to discredit my links...............
after that.....i challenged them to refute the link............
after that.......i get drug back into the "opinion arena"....

debating here is essentially a neverending cycle of "penis-wagging".
i'm gonna keep dancing around, though. i can wag with the best of them.
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You're basing your opinion on an America you never lived in.

Keep wagging it around, that's about all your idealized opinion is worth.
 
TacticalEvilDan said:
You're basing your opinion on an America you never lived in.

Keep wagging it around, that's about all your idealized opinion is worth.
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i'm basing my opinion on the word of my elders....who just happen to have far more honesty and
honor than the likes of this whored out generation.
 
lewstherin said:
i'm basing my opinion on the word of my elders....who just happen to have far more honesty and
honor than the likes of this whored out generation.
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Well, that's just fantastic. In other words, you don't even have your own nostalgia to base your opinion on, you've got someone else's nostalgia to work with.

So apparently they're forgetting about America's ups and downs and how they happened both before and after she "went to hell."

They may be honest by your estimation, but by mine they're forgetful at best.
 
TacticalEvilDan said:
Well, that's just fantastic. In other words, you don't even have your own nostalgia to base your opinion on, you've got someone else's nostalgia to work with.

So apparently they're forgetting about America's ups and downs and how they happened both before and after she "went to hell."

They may be honest by your estimation, but by mine they're forgetful at best.
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yes. the memories of our families and loved ones are shoddy. but the revisionist nonsense they teach in schools now
is just so purely crystal clear. this isn't about "ups and downs". every generation has "ups and downs". this is about the
disintegration of society as a sum total. i's suppose dey's didn't learn ya'll in skool 'bout dat, huh?
 
lewstherin said:
yes. the memories of our families and loved ones are shoddy. but the revisionist nonsense they teach in schools now
is just so purely crystal clear. this isn't about "ups and downs". every generation has "ups and downs". this is about the
disintegration of society as a sum total. i's suppose dey's didn't learn ya'll in skool 'bout dat, huh?
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I like how you see an actual difference between basing your perception of America on shoddy memories and basing it on "revisionist nonsense." Too cute.
 
One need not be dishonest to be wrong.

If I just think about it at a very casual, surface level, high school looks great from where I'm sitting. No money worries, I buried myself in an extracurricular I loved and haven't had as much time to do now that I'm in the real world, more stable relationships and environments... sounds great.

And then I remember how limited I was in what I could do. I remembered how much I actually hated the herding element of mainstream education to the point it nearly made me mad by the end. I remember having to "make due" with the available selection of people because I didn't really have much chance to meet anyone who wasn't in high school. I remember how much less sophisticated my, and everyone else's, mode of interaction was and how many problems that caused. I remember having to deal with legal custody BS because I was a minor. I remember how much it sucked being a hormonal mid-teen, and how much less happy and more erratically emotional I was than I am now.

Upon closer inspection, those "good old days" actually sucked compared to the present. If I keep my observation at a very superficial level, I can pretend it was better. But in reality it wasn't. Not even close. When I really think about it, I wouldn't go back for all the money in the world. Ugh.

Our memory erases pain on purpose. It's easier to move on with your past shrouded in an opioid-like haze of happiness.

Even being young, I can see my mind doing that already. How much worse do you think it is in the mind of a 70-year-old? Why do you think older people tend to struggle with change?

"The good old days" may exist in the foggy memory of someone struggling to cope with the 21st century, but the history books tell us a completely different story. The history books tell us people are healthier, more free, less subject to violence, and happier than they have ever been. And in fact, this is a general trend through-out all of human history.

Who are you going to believe? Someone who runs to their past in order to avoid having to deal with a future they can't cope with, or reality?
 
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TacticalEvilDan said:
I like how you see an actual difference between basing your perception of America on shoddy memories and basing it on "revisionist nonsense." Too cute.
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that was a great retort. ummmmm...it's really hard to refute such a solid argument as that.....let me see.....ok....but...
how can you argue against THIS......................
seal_clapping_fins_lg_clr.gif
 
lewstherin said:
oh...so now you all want my opinion from experience? because before, you all wanted proof from statistical links.
maybe you widdle muddled minded tinkers should make up your own damn minds.
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Lew, you don't get it. We know that every word you say is the gospel. It's the whole truth, nothing but the truth. You speak no opinions, just facts. So naaaah. You don't need to provide links to backup your claims.

All eyes are on you. Fire away. We all crave your wisdom and knowledge.
 
lewstherin said:
lol. you're the one passing out the balloons.
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I'll give it one more try. I'm saying:

It's silly to knock people for relying on what you think is an unreliable source of information, while you yourself are relying on a source of information which you have admitted is unreliable.

You're saying:

1.jpg
 
How the hell did this thread turn into a hyperpartisan tennis match?
 
Removable Mind said:
Lew, you don't get it. We know that every word you say is the gospel. It's the whole truth, nothing but the truth. You speak no opinions, just facts. So naaaah. You don't need to provide links to backup your claims.

All eyes are on you. Fire away. We all crave your wisdom and knowledge.
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well, if your slavish soul is following close enough to my religious doctrine....then you must acknowledge as wisdom that
"I", the great keeper of the unopened gate, has provided for you lowly subjects a link. this link
springs life eternal. it manifests knowledge as a spring manifests water to the plant life of the forbidden wilderness.
search, my child....and ye shall find.
 
Goshin said:
How the hell did this thread turn into a hyperpartisan tennis match?
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Doesn't everything? :doh
.

It's ridiculous to claim that human behavior has changed over the last several decades because of some sort of liberal agenda. I wouldn't even waste my time addressing that crap.
 
TacticalEvilDan said:
I'll give it one more try. I'm saying:

It's silly to knock people for relying on what you think is an unreliable source of information, while you yourself are relying on a source of information which you have admitted is unreliable.

You're saying:

1.jpg
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already provided a link, dear worshipper. don't lose faith. a soul be da terible thang to waste.
 
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