View Poll Results: If your partner cheats, will you stay?

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  • No, I'd end it

    23 39.66%
  • Yes, I'd stay. Period.

    3 5.17%
  • I'd stay conditionally

    15 25.86%
  • Don't know/not sure/not in a relationship/HOT POCKETS!

    17 29.31%
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Thread: Is an affair a dealbreaker

  1. #31
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    Re: Is an affair a dealbreaker

    Wouldn't make a difference to me. I'd be equally upset. It sucks when people leave. Telling me beforehand wouldn't make it suck less.
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  2. #32
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    Re: Is an affair a dealbreaker

    If you partner cheats, will you stay?
    I believe some relationships start out loose - people keeping options open - and then they become monogamous.

    Personally I would walk away in the early part of a relationship if I knew someone I was interested in was "sampling" the opposition before choosing and I would walk away if I was in a long term relationship and trust was betrayed. I always make it clear when starting a relationship that honesty and trust are important to me. I walked away from my first wife when she broke our trust for financial reasons - cost me financially too as the courts originally decided to let our kids stay with her.

  3. #33
    Educator DemonMyst's Avatar
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    Re: Is an affair a dealbreaker

    Well.. I misread the poll and voted wrong.. Sorry..

    Yes.. It a partner cheats, then to me it is over.. Any relationship is based on trust.. Without trust there is no relationship..

  4. #34
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    Re: Is an affair a dealbreaker

    I'm indifferent. The issue for me is one of loyalty, and keeping a little piece on the side doesn't really hurt me. Whatever.

    But if she's neglecting me or our family in favor of fooling around, then there's going to be Hell to pay. I can forgive a lot, but I won't tolerate being ignored. Or if her piece on the side is filth and I'm worried about being exposed to it; the other problem I've had in "open" relationships is seeing the pathetic vermin I'm being asked to share with. If a man isn't good enough to sit at my dinner table, then I don't like the implications of my woman thinking he's good enough to sleep with.

  5. #35
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    Re: Is an affair a dealbreaker

    I'd stay. I would cheat back though. The sneaking around part is what would bother me. I wouldn't mind an open relationship or swinging. If she gets variety then so should I. It all depends. But for me an affair is not a deal breaker. Not in and of itself.
    “The means of defense against foreign danger historically have become the instruments of tyranny at home."
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  6. #36
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    Re: Is an affair a dealbreaker

    I don't know what I'd do if I found out my wife cheated. I honestly don't know how I'd react until it happened I think.
    If you build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day.

    If you set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

  7. #37
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    Re: Is an affair a dealbreaker

    If I cheated on my fiancée, I am convinced that would immediately end the relationship, because she could not forgive that. If the situation was reversed, I could probably forgive it under certain conditions. Doesn't mean it would be ok, or that she wouldn't have to do a good job explaining and convincing, but if it was really just sexual attraction and not much more, I could probably forgive her, as long as she remains reliable within our relationship.

    But I don't believe in a "one size fits all" approach to this question. I just feel the way I do, because cheating would break the deal my fiancée and I have mutually agreed on. Other couples may find different kinds of agreement.
    "Not learning from mistakes is worse than committing mistakes. When you don't allow yourself to make mistakes, it is hard to be tolerant of others and it does not allow even God to be merciful."

  8. #38
    global liberation

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    Re: Is an affair a dealbreaker

    Dare I mention it appears maturity is dominating a thread. Strange day.

  9. #39
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    Re: Is an affair a dealbreaker

    We have an open relationship so an "affair" wouldn't end it. The agreement is to be honest with each other so I guess for us what would end it would be kissing and NOT telling.
    "Yes, but are you a Protestant atheist or a Catholic atheist?".- Northern Irish joke

  10. #40
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    Re: Is an affair a dealbreaker

    I always said on polls like this that an affair would end my relationship, but when my ex-husband actually cheated, I stayed and tried to work things out for the sake of the kids. When he cheated a second time, though, I started making an exit plan and when the 3rd affair happened, i filed for divorce.

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