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Is an affair a dealbreaker

If your partner cheats, will you stay?

  • No, I'd end it

    Votes: 19 38.8%
  • Yes, I'd stay. Period.

    Votes: 3 6.1%
  • I'd stay conditionally

    Votes: 13 26.5%
  • Don't know/not sure/not in a relationship/HOT POCKETS!

    Votes: 14 28.6%

  • Total voters
    49
Can you define cheating? Is it a one night stand or is it an ongoing emotional relationship with another person?

Please answer then I can answer.

For me, each would be a complete break of faith and trust.
 
Which is worst? An emotional affair or a sexual affair? (and no, I don't want to start another thread). :mrgreen:

A sexual affair that includes a component of romantic love and emotional investment. It is a betrayal of the relationship on multiple levels.
 
A sexual affair that includes a component of romantic love and emotional investment. It is a betrayal of the relationship on multiple levels.

What about just sex? My husband says he'd be more upset about sex than an emotional affair. i figured that was a guy thing. *shrugs*
 
What about just sex? My husband says he'd be more upset about sex than an emotional affair. i figured that was a guy thing. *shrugs*

It is. He considers your body his - and I don't mean that in a cave man kinda way. I think you know what I mean. I believe women get emotionally involved before they get sexually involved, so I would assume my wife was in love with the guy she's cheating with. Finding out she isn't would bring relief.
 
It is. He considers your body his - and I don't mean that in a cave man kinda way. I think you know what I mean. I believe women get emotionally involved before they get sexually involved, so I would assume my wife was in love with the guy she's cheating with. Finding out she isn't would bring relief.

most women but some just want to get laid. and yes, I think I know what you mean. To me, I wouldn't tolerate either. If i had to choose - nope. Neither. It would just be over. And from then on, I would never be in another relationship again.
 
most women but some just want to get laid. and yes, I think I know what you mean. To me, I wouldn't tolerate either. If i had to choose - nope. Neither. It would just be over. And from then on, I would never be in another relationship again.

Strong words. I don't doubt you mean them, and I hope you never have to deal with it, but there are differences between male and female sexual drives and patterns. Women who understand men have the advantage in dealing with them over women who do not.
 
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most women but some just want to get laid. and yes, I think I know what you mean. To me, I wouldn't tolerate either. If i had to choose - nope. Neither. It would just be over. And from then on, I would never be in another relationship again.

it's your life, but you probably shouldn't give up on romantic happiness so easily after that.
my 1st marriage was a disaster. i dealt with cheating, drug addiction, the worst kind of
shame possible. i did give up for a few years. became somewhat of an angry recluse. but
then, that angel from heaven sort of fell into my lap and i couldn't be happier. and really?
i found this soul-mate BECAUSE the 1st marriage had driven me so cynical. so i would
have to argue against a person just giving up after a bad relationship. i'm glad i didn't.
 
it's your life, but you probably shouldn't give up on romantic happiness so easily after that.
my 1st marriage was a disaster. i dealt with cheating, drug addiction, the worst kind of
shame possible. i did give up for a few years. became somewhat of an angry recluse. but
then, that angel from heaven sort of fell into my lap and i couldn't be happier. and really?
i found this soul-mate BECAUSE the 1st marriage had driven me so cynical. so i would
have to argue against a person just giving up after a bad relationship. i'm glad i didn't.

Great story! Congrats.
 
It is. He considers your body his - and I don't mean that in a cave man kinda way. I think you know what I mean. I believe women get emotionally involved before they get sexually involved, so I would assume my wife was in love with the guy she's cheating with. Finding out she isn't would bring relief.

That's what I was thinking, but didn't post. Men know (or think they do, or for the most part, disclaimers and etc) women don't make like bunnies. "Hi there, talldarkhandsomestranger. How can I love you if you won't lie down?"
 
I think it is easier for a woman to forgive a man for a one night discretion than a man.
Men do have this "my property" mentality. Either way it puts a scar on the relationship that will always remain.
There is temptation all around you but you really got to think twice before you head down that road.
 
Well, that's just fantastic. In other words, you don't even have your own nostalgia to base your opinion on, you've got someone else's nostalgia to work with.

So apparently they're forgetting about America's ups and downs and how they happened both before and after she "went to hell."

They may be honest by your estimation, but by mine they're forgetful at best.

He should ask the non-whored out generation to explain to him the concept of war-brides. I can tell you that not everyone thought they were honorable people.
 
I think it is easier for a woman to forgive a man for a one night discretion than a man. Men do have this "my property" mentality. Either way it puts a scar on the relationship that will always remain.
There is temptation all around you but you really got to think twice before you head down that road.

Interesting. I'm not sure I agree with the bold part, tho.

You raise a good question. Which sex faces more temptation?
 
What about just sex? My husband says he'd be more upset about sex than an emotional affair. i figured that was a guy thing. *shrugs*

I think I'd be more upset by the emotional component, than the physical. What is it that causes a person to venture outside for their needs? In a marriage, should you not be able to find all you need inside it? Isn't that what the real commitment is, giving each other what they need?
 
it's your life, but you probably shouldn't give up on romantic happiness so easily after that.
my 1st marriage was a disaster. i dealt with cheating, drug addiction, the worst kind of
shame possible. i did give up for a few years. became somewhat of an angry recluse. but
then, that angel from heaven sort of fell into my lap and i couldn't be happier. and really?
i found this soul-mate BECAUSE the 1st marriage had driven me so cynical. so i would
have to argue against a person just giving up after a bad relationship. i'm glad i didn't.

Now that I'm married, I'm not sure that romantic happiness is really the key to a fulfilled life. I thought it would be. Maybe that's the problem. People have expectations and when they're not met, those people do not have the character to honor their vows. I have never been seriously tempted to cheat, however.

I think it is easier for a woman to forgive a man for a one night discretion than a man.
Men do have this "my property" mentality. Either way it puts a scar on the relationship that will always remain.
There is temptation all around you but you really got to think twice before you head down that road.

I would never forgive someone for sneaking around behind my back. I would be much more understanding about it if there wasn't deception.

I think I'd be more upset by the emotional component, than the physical. What is it that causes a person to venture outside for their needs? In a marriage, should you not be able to find all you need inside it? Isn't that what the real commitment is, giving each other what they need?

No one can be what another person needs all the time. It's not possible. That's why marriages fail. Because people expect that. That's the selfish, egotistical part of human nature.
 
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